DEAD MILKMEN Music 1983. Featuring Joe Genaro, Rodney Linderman, Dean Sabatino and Dan Stevens. | |||
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BOGUS BUSINESS BUREAU | |||||||||||
1 | 976-PIGG | BBB | Services | Party Lines | |||||||
976-PIGG "Now Earl's got a son and they call him Earl Junior, which I think is pretty clever since he is Earl's son. He's not really a normal boy, ever since that tractor accident... Anyway, he ran up $5,000 worth of 976 phone bills. He called weird, unnatural numbers like 976-PIGG with two G's, And 976-SHEEP, which has five letters in it - I know he's a sick boy..." | |||||||||||
2 | 976-SHEEP | BBB | Services | Party Lines | |||||||
976-SHEEP "Now Earl's got a son and they call him Earl Junior, which I think is pretty clever since he is Earl's son. He's not really a normal boy, ever since that tractor accident... Anyway, he ran up $5,000 worth of 976 phone bills. He called weird, unnatural numbers like 976-PIGG with two G's, And 976-SHEEP, which has five letters in it - I know he's a sick boy..." | |||||||||||
3 | Air Crash Museum | BBB | Entertainment | Museums | |||||||
Air Crash Museum "Went out to feed the cattle and to my surprise, my lawn was full of bodies, just a gatherin' up the flies. A big ol' jet liner had dropped from out of the sky. Well, I was so darn happy that I couldn't believe my eyes. We're gonna stuff 'em, put 'em on display, 'tween Patsy Cline, Buddy Holly, loadin' up my tractor, gonna take the bodies inside. Betty Lou will bring the sawdust, and I've got the formaldehyde, I'm callin' up my neighbors, tTell 'em all to drop by. A body stuffin' party, and we'll bake some kidney pie. We're gonna stuff 'em, put 'em on display, 'tween Patsy Cline, Buddy Holly. We'll have our own Air crash museum, people lined for miles, just to see 'em. Jim Croce's in the corner, the Big Bopper's by the stairs. Ricky Nelson's in the kitchen, but nobody cares. | |||||||||||
4 | Blind Lemon Lipschitz | BBB | Music | Musicians | |||||||
Blind Lemon Lipschitz "Blind Lemon Lipschitz gouged out his own eyes with his thumbnails so he could be called blind lemon... It's true, don't laugh." | |||||||||||
5 | Channel 57 | BBB | Cinema | TV Stations | |||||||
Channel 57 "You know what Stuart? I like you. You're not like the other people herein the trailer park. Oh no, don't get me wrong, they're fine people, goodAmericans. But they're content to sit back, maybe watch a little Mork andMindy on channel 57. Maybe kick back a cool Coors 16-ouncer. They'regood fine people, Stuart. But they don't know what the queers are doingto the soil." | |||||||||||
6 | Cinema Burlesque | BBB | Nightlife | Strip Clubs | |||||||
Cinema Burlesque Titty bar that Peter Bazooka sees his congressman coming out of. | |||||||||||
7 | Cousin Earl's Maggot Farm | BBB | Food Industries | Farms | |||||||
Cousin Earl's Maggot Farm "Now, you wanna talk about bladder problems, then the man you wanna talk to will probably be my cousin Earl. I guess you all know Earl, he lives out on Route 13 out on that maggot farm. Earl don't like it when you get his maggot farm confused with a worm farm. A worm farm is for worms, and a maggot farm is for maggots, and Earl's got the biggest maggots in the state. Three feet long. Of course, now Earl believes this might be due to the fact that St. Smithen's Medical Facility has been dumping their waste on his property." | |||||||||||
8 | Crystal Ship | BBB | Music | Musicians | |||||||
Crystal Ship "Yeah, hey, guess who's gonna be there? My favorite cover band, Crystal Ship. Yeah, they do a Doors show, you'd be really impressed, in fact, it goes a little like this: Love me two times baby, Love me twice today, Love me two times girl, Cause I got AIDS, Love me two times baby, Once for tomorrow, Once cause I got AIDS" | |||||||||||
9 | Joanie Loves Crotchy | BBB | Television | TV Shows | |||||||
Joanie Loves Crotchy "I believe in Happy Days, I believe in Joanie Loves Crotchie, I believe in all that TV crap, and I believe in swordfish! He believes in swordfish! | |||||||||||
10 | Lester Shy and the Shyphonics | BBB | Music | Musicians | |||||||
Lester Shy and the Shyphonics "Good evening ladies and gentlemen and welcome to P.J.'s Astrological Love Lounge. We are Lester Shy and the Shyphonics. My name is Lester Shy and these fine gentlemen all around me, well they're the Shyphonics and we hail proudly from Fargo, North Dakota." | |||||||||||
11 | Little Elvis | BBB | Weapons | Guns | |||||||
Little Elvis Peter Bazooka's gun. | |||||||||||
12 | Me and Julio Down by the Crackhouse | BBB | Music | Musicians | |||||||
Me and Julio Down by the Crackhouse "Now everybody's into what I do, Steve Albini, John and Frank Sinatra sound exactly like me, I even set up a duo with Julio Iglesias, It was called Me and Julio Down By the Crackhouse, 'Cause even Julio Iglesias is me, I have the number one album, I have all the albums, 'Cause now everybody's me!" | |||||||||||
13 | Methodist Coloring Book | BBB | Toys | Other Toys | |||||||
Methodist Coloring Book "You've got a Methodist coloring book and you color really well, but don't color outside the lines or God will send you to hell!" | |||||||||||
14 | The Mixer | BBB | Amusement | Amusement Rides | |||||||
The Mixer I first became aware of this about ten years ago, the summer my oldest boy, Bill Jr. died. You know that carnival comes into town every year? Well this year they came through with a ride called The Mixer. The man said, "Keep your head, and arms, inside The Mixer at all times." But Bill Jr, he was a daredevil, just like his old man. He was leaning out saying "Hey everybody, look at me! Look at me!" Pow! He was decapitated! They found his head over by the snow cone concession. | |||||||||||
15 | P.J.'s Astrological Love Lounge | BBB | Nightlife | Lounges | |||||||
P.J.'s Astrological Love Lounge "Good evening ladies and gentlemen and welcome to P.J.'s Astrological Love Lounge. We are Lester Shy and the Shyphonics. My name is Lester Shy and these fine gentlemen all around me, well they're the Shyphonics and we hail proudly from Fargo, North Dakota." | |||||||||||
16 | Run TDM | BBB | Music | Musicians | |||||||
Run TDM Run DMC parody from music video. | |||||||||||
17 | The Sandbar | BBB | Nightlife | Bars | |||||||
The Sandbar "It's a place that lets sixteen year-old kids drink." | |||||||||||
18 | Sri Lanka Sex Hotel | BBB | Services | Sex Services | |||||||
Sri Lanka Sex Hotel "3-D Jesus by my bedside, Talks to me when it's late at night, I thought I left you in Sri Lanka, Working the desk at the Sex Hotel, For Christ's sake why isn't Bob Hope dead yet?" | |||||||||||
19 | St. Smithen's Medical Facility | BBB | Healthcare | Hospitals | |||||||
St. Smithen's Medical Facility "Now, you wanna talk about bladder problems, then the man you wanna talk to will probably be my cousin Earl. I guess you all know Earl, he lives out on Route 13 out on that maggot farm. Earl don't like it when you get his maggot farm confused with a worm farm. A worm farm is for worms, and a maggot farm is for maggots, and Earl's got the biggest maggots in the state. Three feet long. Of course, now Earl believes this might be due to the fact that St. Smithen's Medical Facility has been dumping their waste on his property." | |||||||||||
20 | St. Smithen's Medical Facility and Pork ... | BBB | Healthcare | Medical Services | |||||||
St. Smithen's Medical Facility and Pork Sausage Distillery "Now, Earl's got a wife, and we call her... Wife. We don't know her name, because she's never really said that much. For the longest time we thought she could only say two words, which were "dog" and "pussy." We thought that meant "dog" and "cat", but then we found out that what she was really trying to say was "dog-pussy", one big hyphenated word which doesn't come up much in conversation, especially amongst Baptists. We never heard her say anything other than that. You know, she works down at... down at St. Smithen's Medical Facility and Pork Sausage Distillery, got a good-paying job there, although she only does say those... well that one word." | |||||||||||
21 | Stoney's Extra Stout | BBB | Beverage Products | Beer | |||||||
Stoney's Extra Stout Beer brand on the album cover. | |||||||||||
22 | Two Shoes | BBB | Music | Musicians | |||||||
Two Shoes "Everybody calls me Two Shoes 'cause i always wear two shoes... I know it's not much of a nickname, but by the time i got around to getting my nickname all the good ones were taken." | |||||||||||
23 | Uncle Sid's Grim Tales | BBB | Literature | Childrens Books | |||||||
Uncle Sid's Grim Tales Book of fairy tales, from music video. | |||||||||||
24 | Vince Lombardi Service Center | BBB | Vehicles | Automotive Services | |||||||
Vince Lombardi Service Center Title of instrumental song Vince Lombardi Service Center. | |||||||||||
25 | Violent School | BBB | Education | Primary Schools | |||||||
Violent School "Violence rules, guns are cool and we've got guns, in our school!" | |||||||||||
MAKE BELIEVE MAP | |||||||||||
26 | City of Mud | Map | Urban Areas | Cities | |||||||
City of Mud "Built ourselves a city, and we made it out of mud. We dried it off this morning, out there in the desert sun. and we never do no working, just sit and watch TV. Well, I finally found a city full of people just like me. Well we're gonna drag Bruce Springsteen by his axe through our streets, by the time we're done, The Boss will look like a side of beef." | |||||||||||
27 | Hell | Map | Worlds | Afterlife | |||||||
Hell "You've got a Methodist coloring book and you color really well, but don't color outside the lines or God will send you to Hell!" | |||||||||||
28 | Miller's Creek | Map | Water | Creeks | |||||||
Miller's Creek "Now St. Smithen's Medical Facility and Pork Sausage Distillery has been known to dump their stuff into Miller's Creek - All sorts of heinous stuff, big barrels floatin' in the creek with little things on them that say 'St. Smithen's Medical Facility and Pork Sausage Distillery'... Anyway Earl was fishing and he caught a wall-eyed bass which had twenty-seven eyes on it. It was a twenty-seven-eyed wall-eyed bass. Earl looked at it, and decided, "Umm, wouldn't this be good to eat". | |||||||||||
29 | Swampland of Desire | Map | Water | Swamps | |||||||
Swampland of Desire "I will trim your fir trees and I will light your fire and I will wrestle alligators in your swampland of desire! | |||||||||||
30 | Tiny Town | Map | Urban Areas | Cities | |||||||
Tiny Town "Hello, my name is Billy Bob and I don't give a damn, I got myself some white sheets straight from the Ku Klux Klan. I got myself a daughter and she's a Mongoloid, Because I married my sister and our gene pool's been destroyed, let's do it! This is a tiny town, and we don't want you comin' round" | |||||||||||
31 | WiseGuyVille | Map | Urban Areas | Cities | |||||||
WiseGuyVille "Built ourselves a city, and we call it WiseGuyVille, and we made a few mistakes, like putting children on the pill, and we never do no working, 'Cause we got cable TV. Hell, I finally found a city full of people just like me." | |||||||||||
OTHER | |||||||||||
32 | Dead Milkmen | Other | Quotes | Quotes | |||||||
Dead Milkmen Dead Milkmen: My driver was an Aries, and he laughed when I said "Follow that cab!" And he kept laughing until he saw the cold blue steel of Little Elvis. "Keep your goddamn hands off that radio!" I warned him. "I work for the government!" This is actually a half truth. I'm really a bike courier, but I make a lot of deliveries to government offices. | |||||||||||
33 | Dead Milkmen | Other | Quotes | Quotes | |||||||
Dead Milkmen Dead Milkmen: Now, you talk about that Bohagus boy. You know him, Billy Bohagus? They found him last week out behind the barn with his math teacher, his scout leader, and the local minister, and that boy had the nerve to say it was part of a biology project. We killed him. Had no other choice. | |||||||||||
34 | Earl & Wall-eyed Bass with 27 Eyes | Other | Quotes | Quotes | |||||||
Earl & Wall-eyed Bass with 27 Eyes Earl: Mmmm, wouldn't this be good to eat! Wall-eyed bass with 27 eyes: Please, mister! Please, don't eat me! Earl: But I'm hungry! I'm hungry! I work on a maggot farm! My wife can only say 'dog-pussy'! My daughter is a pile of fungus! My son spent all of his college money calling '976-' numbers! I have to eat you! Wall-eyed bass with 27 eyes: Please, don't eat me, mister, please! Earl: I have to! I have to! Wall-eyed bass with 27 eyes: Alright then, if you're gonna cut me open, let me ask you one question. Did you ever go to eat a pork sausage and find it's got hairs growin' all over it? | |||||||||||
35 | Hippie Souffle | Other | Recipes | Food Recipes | |||||||
Hippie Souffle Followin' the dead is how it gets it's kicks. Shame it wasn't born in 1966. Listens to the music and begins to sway, dreamin' acid dreams of a hippie souffle. | |||||||||||
36 | Operation the Cheese Stands Alone | Other | Plans | Operations | |||||||
Operation the Cheese Stands Alone Super secret government program, the congressmen's pet project. They claim that they're giving surplus cheese to the needy. | |||||||||||
37 | The Thing that Only Eats Hippies | Other | Living Things | Animals | |||||||
The Thing that Only Eats Hippies Wendel brought it to life in his guest room bath tub. It was a special project for his 4-H club. But it broke loose out in the middle of the night. And now it's eatin' flower children left and right. | |||||||||||
38 | Untitled | Other | Themes | Diff|rent Strokes | |||||||
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39 | Untitled | Other | Themes | Sin City | |||||||
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40 | Untitled | Other | Themes | Flatliners | |||||||
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