Fiction Empire

Al attempts to save what canceled TV show?

	John Wayne Theater
	Psycho Dad
	Mud Westling Superstars

Al Bundy

Al Bundy
Al Bundy: Those articles that say married couples have sex every month are just sensationalistic lies perpetrated on the public to sell magazines. It's hooey I tell you, hooey.

Al Bundy

Al Bundy
Al Bundy: You think I'm a loser? Because I have a stinking job that I hate, a family that doesn't respect me, and a whole city that curses the day I was born? Well, that may mean loser to you, but let me tell you something. Every day when I wake up in the morning, I know it's not going to get any better until I go back to sleep. So I get up. I have my watered-down Tang and my still-frozen Pop Tart. I get in my car with no gas, no upholstery, and six more payments. I fight honking traffic just for the privilege of putting cheap shoes onto the cloven hooves of people like you.

Al Bundy

Al Bundy
Al Bundy: I'll never play football like I wanted to. I'll never know the touch of a beautiful woman. And I'll never know the joy of driving through the city without a bag over my head. But I'm not a loser. Because, despite it all, me and every other guy who'll never be what they wanted to be, is out there, being what we don't want to be forty hours a week for life. And the fact that I haven't put a gun in my mouth you pudding of a woman makes me a winner!

Al Bundy

Al Bundy
Al Bundy: There are no trimesters. There's actually just one long forty year-mester. It just seems less painful if you break it into stages. There's the fat stage, the 'I'll only eat ribs from one place a hundred miles away' stage, and, Lord in heaven, the horny stage.

Al Bundy

Al Bundy
Al Bundy: Everybody, I have an announcement. Your happiness. sickens me. Everybody but me is looking at good times. But for me it's been one long continuous year since I got married. Actually, one long month. Helluary.

Al Bundy

Al Bundy
Al Bundy: Feed me, or feed me to something. I just want to be part of the food chain.

Al Bundy

Al Bundy
Al Bundy: You're my wife. I will not talk to you while I have a TV.

Al Bundy

Al Bundy
Al Bundy: You know what I would do if I was President? I'd take a big empty state, that nobody's using, y'know, like Idaho, and I'd pack every pregnant woman in the country into donut trucks, and convoy 'em all to Boise. And since Idaho means nothing anyhow, I'd change the name to Pregnaho.

Al Bundy

Al Bundy
Al Bundy: Yeah, doggone it. If we could only be comfortable with our age like you darn gals. You know, I mean, in the morning you go into the bathroom, a little blush, a little mascara and voila! You got an old woman scared of rain. Then you try and clean and jerk your breasts into a bra, ease some exercise pants over that front and back belly, go down to the market and flirt with the bag boy. I guess what I'm trying to say is it's just pretty pathetic when we guys try to cling to our youth.

Al Bundy

Al Bundy
Al Bundy: What was I thinking when I said, "I do?" I'd already had sex with her! I didn't need that again!

Al Bundy

Al Bundy
Al Bundy: We're gonna go where people pretend to want to go when they can't afford to go someplace good. We're gonna see America. We take no map. We'll follow the sun. Stay in cheap motels and steal what we need along the way. We go west, past the cheese factories, where the air is fresh, the sky is big, and a man can still kill his dinner with his car. Guys, tomorrow we put the pedal to the metal and we ride with the wind.

Al Bundy

Al Bundy
Al Bundy: Well, I guess there's nothing left to do now but pick out the dress you're going to wear when Dan Rather asks you why your son shot the President.

Al Bundy

Al Bundy
Al Bundy: Well, according to my research, the cost of raising a baby from birth to college is approximately seven hundred and eighty thousand dollars. Thanks to my actually selling a shoe last week, I'm proud to say we're now just short seven hundred eighty thousand dollars. Thank you.

Al Bundy

Al Bundy
Al Bundy: There. Right there, Peg, is the problem with America. We've lost our spirit of self-reliance! Something's broken, call someone. Something's leaking, call someone. One of the kids suffers a ruptured appendix, call someone! Whatever happened to rugged American manhood?

Al Bundy

Al Bundy
Al Bundy: Son, let this be a lesson to you: never do tequila shooters within a country mile of a marriage chapel.

Al Bundy

Al Bundy
Al Bundy: So, we're having a new baby. The gods are on a roll, aren't they? Must've been playing another round of Can you top this? One started off, "We'll make him a shoe salesman." Then another said, "We'll give him a red-head." Then another one, probably a cruel, hungover god, said, "But let's have him be a mighty athlete in high school first so his fall will be all the greater."

Al Bundy

Al Bundy
Al Bundy: Peg, I don't wanna go to our high school reunion! Can't we just forget the good times and get on with our lives?

Al Bundy

Al Bundy
Al Bundy: Nobody sticks Al Bundy with unwanted kids except his wife.

Al Bundy

Al Bundy
Al Bundy: Look, Steve. Why don't you do this - go home, wake up Marcy and say, "Hey, I lost my money. I screwed up, it won't happen again, and what's for supper?" That's what being a man is all about, Steve. Making mistakes and not caring.

Al Bundy

Al Bundy
Al Bundy: Kelly, when I was a kid, there were lots of parties I wasn't invited to. I showed up anyway. I stood there with a big smile on my face, and said, 'I'm here!' and headed right for the food. Sure, they didn't want me there, but I had a great time. And if they didn't, so what? The point is if you want to be there, be there. Even if they hate you. You're a Bundy. Start acting like one.

Al Bundy

Al Bundy
Al Bundy: I don't want more people in this house. I want less. I want my life back, damn it. I want my youth. I want my hair. I want this room. It's really nice. Are you thinking of moving out, son?

Al Bundy

Al Bundy
Al Bundy: I Care, by Al Bundy. When hooters jiggle around and I find nickels on the ground, I care. When a Mustang engine purrs and the bathroom is not hers, I care. When the pitcher's on the mound and the wife is underground, I care. But when I've been playing this for days, I will kill anyone who stays. I swear!

Al Bundy

Al Bundy
Al Bundy: Dad had one great dream, a dream that had been handed down from generation to generation of male Bundys: to build their own room and live separately from their wives. Sadly, they all failed.

Al Bundy

Al Bundy
Al Bundy: Ah, Peg. You're down here. Damn. Then I was dreaming you ran off with the dwarf down at the bookstore, and I was living in sin with a Playboy centerfold and her eight friends who could speak but chose not to.

Al Bundy

Al Bundy
Al Bundy: I don't smell no food. If you expect me to pleasure you, I need what Robert Mitchum needs.

Al Bundy & Bud Bundy

Al Bundy & Bud Bundy
Al Bundy: Al Bundy: Bud, are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Bud Bundy: Luscious hooters?
Al Bundy: No. That's what I should have been thinking about, but no.

Al's favorite strip club.

Al's favorite strip club.

	The Jiggly Room
	The Nudie Bar
	Girls Galore

Al's high school.

Al's high school.

	Carver High
	Buchanan High
	Polk High

Bud Bundy

Bud Bundy
Bud: Bundy's a name you earn. Our emotional scars run so deep you can almost see them.

Bud Bundy

Bud Bundy
Bud Bundy: Well, when I get my degree, from an accredited community college, I might add, I'll be the one with the Lucky Charms, my friends. And I'll be eating them out of the bra cups of my own private breakfast treat, Monique. Here's to the future.

Bud Bundy

Bud Bundy
Bud Bundy: The babes will be calling plenty soon. I'm a senior now. A mover. A shaker. I'm the man. I've got the juice. Yup, when I was a freshman, they flushed my head down the toilet. When I was a sophomore, they flushed my head down the toilet. When I was a junior, I was getting cool, so they let me flush it myself. But now I'm a senior. And ready to rule. This year he's back, he's cool, he's dry.

Bud's full name.

Name Game

Bud's full name.

	Buckley Frederick Bundy
	Budrick Franklin Bundy
	Buford Friedrich Bundy

The Bundy family's address?

The Bundy family's address?

	9674 Memory Lane
	9674 Mockingbird Lane
	9674 Jeopardy Lane

City where Bundy family lives.

City where Bundy family lives.

	Chicago
	Detroit
	San Diego

Jefferson D'Arcy

Jefferson D'Arcy
Jefferson D'Arcy: I don't want to live with Marcy anymore. She wants sex all the time. I mean, sex with your pregnant wife is like putting gas in the tank of a car you already wrecked.

Kelly Bundy

Kelly Bundy
Kelly Bundy: Remember, attraction is a three-way street. Or is it a one-way tunnel? Hmm, in any case, I do know it's a four-lane highway, but it takes two to use the car-pool lane. I guess what I'm trying to say is, what the younger generation has learned is that there's nothing for us to watch on CBS, and you've got to be yourself. A man has to love you for you, not some costume. He's gotta love who you are.

Kelly Bundy

Kelly's character's name on the local ex...

Kelly Bundy
Kelly Bundy: He'll be here. When my daddy says he'll do something, he... No, that's my friend Marsha's daddy. But when my daddy puts his mind to something, he... No, that's Carolyn's daddy. Well, my daddy dear, he knows he's still number one, oh girls just want to have fun. No, that's Cyndi Lauper's daddy. Hmm.

Name Game

Kelly's character's name on the local exterminator commercial.

	The Terminator
	The X-terminator
	The Verminator

Make of Al's car.

Make of Al's car.

	Ford
	Chevy
	Dodge

Marcie's favorite childhood doll.

Marcie's favorite childhood doll.

	Barbie
	Chatty Kathy
	Cabbage Patch Patty

Marcy D'Arcy

The misogynistic group that Al founds.

Marcy D'Arcy
Marcy D'Arcy: Oh, it's too bad some men don't know how to give up their sports gracefully instead of lingering on like big babies.

The misogynistic group that Al founds.

	No Ma\|am
	Men Against Women
	Women Free

Peggy Bundy

Peggy Bundy
Peggy Bundy: Now look, Al. You said you wouldn't take me to prom. I said fine. You said you'd only be a shoe salesman for a little while until you got your feet off the ground. I said fine. You said, "I don't know what's wrong, I guess I'm just tired." I said fine. I'm not saying fine this time, Al.

Peggy Bundy

Peggy Bundy
Peggy Bundy: Sooo. we've certainly learned a lot about each other. We have no opinions on politics, religion, science, starving people, nuclear holocaust or recycling. The only thing we seem to feel strongly about is we both hate that painting behind Jay Leno.

Peggy Bundy

Peggy Bundy
Peggy Bundy: Al, do you know I cooked four hours for that five minutes of sex we had? It just isn't worth it.

Peggy's maiden name.

The precious gem that Al recovers in his...

Name Game

Peggy's maiden name.

	Wanger
	Elliot
	Barrington

The Pharaoh's Eye

Artifacts

Gems

The Pharaoh's Eye
Precious gem from Al's private detective dream.

Rock band that performed at Bud's house ...

The precious gem that Al recovers in his private detective dream.

	The Pharaoh\|s Eye
	The King\|s Ear
	The Sultan\|s Mouth

Rock band that performed at Bud's house after he won a contest.

	Aerosmith
	Metallica
	Anthrax

Shoe store where Al works.

What former child star did Kelly and Bud...

Shoe store where Al works.

	Al\|s Shoes
	Shoe Store
	Gary\|s Shoes

Untitled

Themes

Flatliners 2


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What is Al Bundy's greast claim to fame?

What former child star did Kelly and Bud Bundy meet at the supermarket?

	Gary Coleman
	Jerry Mathers
	Jay North

What Seinfeld star auditioned for the ro...

What is Al Bundy's greast claim to fame?

	He once met Ed "Kookie" Burns
	He scored 4 touchdowns in one high school football game
	He hit two grand slams in one junior high school baseball game