Fiction Empire

Cafes and Delis

Bernie's Deli
Weird Al Yankovic: When we were young, Bernie's Deli was down the block / He made a great liver pate / But if there's one thing in this world that I like better than a corned beef on rye / It's Chicken Pot Pie.

Burger World

Fast Food

Burger World

Channel 3

Channel 3
Weird Al Yankovic: And now I get to watch the stock report in Korean, Midget wrestling on Channel 3. It costs me fifty bucks a month just to see 'em, yeah, but that's all right with me.

Dr. Jones

Healthcare

Doctors

Dr. Jones
Weird Al Yankovic: Help me out! Dig! All I do is grunt and groan. Hurts me to walk anywhere, went to see my physician, Dr. Jones. He took my trousers off, told me to cough. Doctor says there ain't nothin' to discuss, he tells me any day I might have to wear a truss.

Interocitor

Technology Products

Electronics

Interocitor
Device from This Island Earth visible in music video.

Jackson Park Express

Transportation

Bus Lines

Jackson Park Express
Weird Al Yankovic: Tuesday morning, 8:15, I was riding to work on the Jackson Park Express / Seemed like any other day, then my whole world changed in a way I never could have guessed / 'Cause she walked in, took the seat right across the aisle / I knew we had a special connection the second I saw her smile.

Jerry's Bait Shop

Retail

Sporting Goods Stores

Jerry's Bait Shop
Weird Al Yankovic: Way back when I was just a little bitty boy living in a box under the stairs in the corner of the basement of the house half a block down the street from Jerry's Bait Shop - you know the place - well anyway, back then life was going swell and everything was just peachy, except, of course, for the undeniable fact that every single morning my mother would make me a big bowl of sauerkraut for breakfast.

Joe's Cafe

Cafes and Delis

Joe's Cafe
It was just the other day when we went to Joe's Cafe, just to order up a couple steaks to eat / But we noticed something wrong - all the Worcestershire was gone, but the waitress brought a different kind of treat.

Jurassic Park

Amusement

Amusement Parks

Jurassic Park
Weird Al Yankovic: Jurassic Park is frightening in the dark / All the dinosaurs are running wild / Someone let T. Rex out of his pen / I'm afraid those things will harm me / 'Cause they sure don't act like Barney / And they think that I'm their dinner, not their friend.

King of Suede

Apparel

Clothing Stores

King of Suede
Clothing store.

Mayo

Food Products

Condiments

Mayo
Generic mayonnaise product from music video, which local residents spread on their lawn to attract weasels, in order to stomp them on Weasel Stomping Day.

Midnight Star

Periodicals

Newspapers

Midnight Star
Tabloid newspaper.

Nature Trail to Hell

Movies

Nature Trail to Hell
Horror movie: Coming this Christmas to a theater near you: The most horrifying film that hit the screen. There's a homicidal maniac who finds a cub-scout troop and he hacks up two or three in every scene. Please don't reveal the secret ending to your friends. Don't spoil the big surprise. You won't believe your eyes when you see Nature Trail to Hell.

Nature Trail to Hell Part 2

Movies

Nature Trail to Hell Part 2
Horror movie sequel: See severed heads that almost fall right in your lap. See that bloody hatchet coming right at you. No, you'll never see hideous effects like these again, until we bring Nature Trail to Hell Part 2.

The Racketball Channel

The Racketball Channel
Weird Al Yankovic: I got the Siamese Faith Healer's Network, the news and weather from Peru, I got celebrity hockey, the Racketball Channel too.

Siamese Faith Healer's Network

Siamese Faith Healer's Network
Weird Al Yankovic: I got the Siamese Faith Healer's Network, the news and weather from Peru, I got celebrity hockey, the Racketball Channel too.

Syndicated Inc.

Syndicated Inc.
Company that airs TV show reruns.

Taco Grande

Mexican Fast Food

Taco Grande
Mexican fast food restaurant.

WA Industries

Industrial Companies

Industries

WA Industries
Weird Al's company, from the music video.

Willy's Fun Arcade

Amusement

Video Game Arcades

Willy's Fun Arcade
Arcade next door to the King of Suede clothing store.

FICTITIOUS TIMELINE

January 1

Dates

No Year

Events

January 1
Weird Al Yankovic: Oh, it's Christmas at Ground Zero / And if the radiation level's okay / I'll go out with you and see the all new mutations on New Year's Day.

December 25

Dates

No Year

Events

December 25
Weird Al Yankovic: It's Christmas at Ground Zero / Now the missiles are on their way / What a crazy fluke we're gonna get nuked / On this jolly holiday.

MAKE BELIEVE MAP

53rd Street

Transit Routes

Streets

53rd Street
Weird Al Yankovic: And then the bus stopped at 53rd Street, and she got up suddenly / "Where are you going?", pleaded my eyes, "Baby, don't you do this to me / Think of the beautiful children we could have someday / We could school them at home, raise them up the right way, and protect them from the evils of the world like Trigonometry and Prime Numbers, oh no, baby, please don't go!"

Bedrock

Urban Areas

Cities

Bedrock
Weird Al Yankovic: Sometimes I feel like I need a vacation / Sometimes I feel like I wanna go to the city of cavemen, the city of Bedrock. I'd be a Flintstone, now I'll tell you why...

Dagobah

Outer Space

Planets

Dagobah
Weird Al Yankovic: I met him in a swamp down in Dagobah, where it bubbles all the time like a giant carbonated soda, S-O-D-A soda / I saw the little runt sitting there on a log, I asked him his name and in a raspy voice, he said, Yoda, Y-O-D-A Yoda Yo, yo, yo, yo, Yoda.

Gilmore Building

Structures

Buildings

Gilmore Building
Weird Al Yankovic: She lived across the street on the fifteenth floor of the Gilmore building / I saw her in the shower reaching for some soap / I knew she had to be the girl for me / And to think I probably never would have found her / If I hadn't bought that telescope.

OTHER

Untitled

Themes

3-D


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Untitled

Themes

Shield, The


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Weird Al Yankovic
Weird Al Yankovic: Put your viking helmet on, spread that mayonnaise on the lawn, don't you know it's Weird Al Yankovic!

Weird Al Yankovic
Weird Al Yankovic: I met him in a swamp down in Dagobah, where it bubbles all the time like a giant carbonated soda, S-O-D-A soda / I saw the little runt sitting there on a log, I asked him his name and in a raspy voice, he said, Weird Al Yankovic, Y-O-D-A Weird Al Yankovic Yo, yo, yo, yo, Weird Al Yankovic.

Weird Al Yankovic
Weird Al Yankovic: Poor Peter Parker was pitiful, couldn't have been any shyer / Mary Jane still wouldn't notice him, even if his hair was on fire / But then one day he went to that science lab, that mutated spider came down / Oh, and now Peter crawls over everyone's walls and he's swingin' all over town.

Weird Al Yankovic
Weird Al Yankovic: Oh my my this here Anakin guy, may be Vader someday later, now he's just a small fry, and he left his home and kissed his mommy goodbye, sayin' "Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi."

Weird Al Yankovic
Weird Al Yankovic: Well, that's it for the introductions. And now, the story. A long time ago, in a galaxy far far away... uh... Oh, excuse me... Once upon a time, I think it was last Thursday, a boy named Peter opened the gate and went out into the big green meadow.

Weird Al Yankovic
Weird Al Yankovic: Well, the combination plates all come with beans and rice / The taquitos here are very nice / Now I'm down on my knees, we need some extra tomatoes and cheese / And could you make that separate checks, please? Taco Grande, Taco Grande.

Weird Al Yankovic
Weird Al Yankovic: I don't want no part of that vegetarian scene / I won't buy me a pair of designer jeans / No redwood hot tub to my name / I got all that I want and if it's all the same to you / I'll be mellow when I'd dead.

Weird Al Yankovic
Weird Al Yankovic: And now I get to watch the stock report in Korean, Midget wrestling on Channel 3. It costs me fifty bucks a month just to see 'em, yeah, but that's all right with me.

Weird Al Yankovic
Weird Al Yankovic: Hit the boards and paid my dues, and got phenomenal rave reviews / I knew the world was gonna love me, without a doubt / I was sure that Tarantino would be callin' me on the phone / Annie Leibovitz would shoot me for Rolling Stone / But the years have come and gone, and I'm sorry to say that's not the way that it's all worked out.

Weird Al Yankovic
Weird Al Yankovic: My life is brilliant / Your life's a joke / You're just pathetic / You're always broke / Your homemade Star Trek uniform really ain't impressin' me / You're sufferin' from delusions of adequacy.

Weird Al Yankovic's middle name.