Fiction Empire

MONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL
Film 1975. Written by Monty Python. Directed by Terry Gilliam and Terry Jones. Starring Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Terry Gilliam, Eric Idle, Terry Jones and Michael Palin.

Source Features: BBB (3) MAP (8) OTHER (44) THEMES (1)

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Total Records: 55 - Medium: FILM

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Record Name

Group

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BOGUS BUSINESS BUREAU

1

Book of Armaments

Book of Armaments
Contains instructions for the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch: Armaments, chapter two, verses 9 through 21. And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, "O Lord, bless this thy hand grenade, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy."

3

The Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch

Miscellaneous Weapons

The Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch
Weapon used to destroy The Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog.

3

Roger the Shrubber

Miscellaneous Services

Roger the Shrubber
He arranges, designs and sells shrubberies.

MAKE BELIEVE MAP

3

The Bridge of Death

The Bridge of Death
Bridgekeeper: Stop! Who would cross the Bridge of Death must answer me these questions three, 'ere the other side he see.

3

Caerbannog
Home of the Rabbit of Caerbannog, an immensley cute but bloodthirsty rabbit-like monster.

3

Castle Aaargh

Castle Aaargh
Here may be found the last words of Joseph of Arimathea. He who is valiant and pure of spirit may find the Holy Grail in the Castle of... Aaargh.

3

The Castle Anthrax

The Castle Anthrax
Zoot: We are but eight score young blondes and brunettes all between 16 and 19 and a half, cut off in this castle with no one to protect us. Oh, it is a lonely life. Bathing, dressing, undressing, making exciting underwear. We are not used to handsome knights.

3

The Cave of Caerbannog

The Cave of Caerbannog
Location of a carving indicating the last resting place of the Holy Grail. The entrance is guarded by the The Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog.

3

The Gorge of Eternal Peril

The Gorge of Eternal Peril
No man has ever crossed.

3

Nador

Geographic Areas

Nador
Narrator: In the frozen land of Nador, they were forced to eat Robin's minstrels and there was much rejoicing.

3

Swamp Castle

Swamp Castle
Prince Herbert: To whoever finds this note: I have been imprisoned by my father who wishes me to marry against my will. Please, please, please come and rescue me. I am in the tall tower of Swamp Castle.

OTHER

3

The Black Knight

The Black Knight
The Black Knight: You yellow bastard! Come back here and take what's coming to you!!

3

The Black Knight

The Black Knight
The Black Knight: I'll bite your legs off!!

3

The Black Knight

The Black Knight
The Black Knight: Chicken! Look, I'll have your leg. Right!

4

The Black Knight

The Black Knight
The Black Knight: It's just a scratch. I've had worse.

3

Bridge of Death: What is Sir Galahad's f...

Bridge of Death: What is Sir Galahad's favorite color?

	Yellow
	Blue
	Green

3

Bridge of Death: What is Sir Lancelot's ...

Bridge of Death: What is Sir Lancelot's favorite color?

	Green
	Red
	Blue

3

Bridgekeeper

Bridgekeeper
Bridgekeeper: What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?

3

Bridgekeeper

Bridgekeeper
Bridgekeeper: Stop! Who would cross the Bridge of Death must answer me these questions three, 'ere the other side he see.

3

Cleric
Cleric: And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it."

3

Dennis
Dennis: Help! Help! I'm being repressed! Come see the violence inherent in the system! Violence inherent in the system!

3

Dennis
Dennis: Oh, king, eh, very nice. And how'd you get that, eh? By exploiting the workers! By hanging on to outdated imperialist dogma which perpetuates the economic and social differences in our society. If there's ever going to be any progress...

3

Dennis
Dennis: Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government.

3

Dennis
Dennis: Oh, but you can't expect to wield supreme executive power just because some watery tart threw a sword at you!

3

Dennis
Dennis: Oh but if I went 'round sayin' I was Emperor, just because some moistened bint lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away!

4

French Soldier

French Soldier
French Soldier: Now go away or I shall taunt you a second time.

3

French Soldier

French Soldier
French Soldier: I wave my private parts at your aunties!!!

3

French Soldier

French Soldier
French Soldier: Ah, this one is for your mother!!

3

French Soldier

French Soldier
French Soldier: 'Allo, daffy English kniggets and Monsieur Arthur-King, who has the brain of a duck, you know!

3

French Soldier

French Soldier
French Soldier: And now, remain gone illegitimate-faced buggerfolk! And, if you think you got nasty taunting this time, you ain't heard nothing yet! Daffy English kniggets!

3

French Soldier

French Soldier
French Soldier: You cheesy lot of second hand electric donkey bottom biters!

3

French Soldier

French Soldier
French Soldier: I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!

3

French Soldier

French Soldier
French Soldier: You tiny brained wipers of other people's bottoms!

3

French Soldier

French Soldier
French Soldier: You don't frighten us, English pig dogs! Go and boil your bottoms, you sons of a silly person! I blow my nose at you, so-called 'Arthur King,' you and all your silly English Knights.

3

King Arthur

King Arthur
King Arthur: I order you to be quiet!

3

King Arthur

King Arthur
King Arthur: The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water signifying by Divine Providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. That is why I am your king!

4

King Arthur

King Arthur
King Arthur: Jesus Christ!

5

King Arthur

King Arthur
King Arthur: Bloody peasant!

3

King Arthur

King Arthur
King Arthur: How do you do, good lady? I am Arthur, King of the Britons.

3

King of Swamp Castle

King of Swamp Castle
King of Swamp Castle: This is supposed to be a happy occasion. Let's not bicker and argue about who killed who.

4

Knights Who Say Ni!

Knights Who Say Ni!
Knights who say Ni!: Ni!

3

The Legendary Back Beast of Aaargh

The Legendary Back Beast of Aaargh
Dangerous animated beast, killed when the animator has a heart attack.

3

Minstrel
Minstrel: Bravely bold Sir Robin rode forth from Camelot. He was not afraid to die, oh brave Sir Robin. He was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways, brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Robin. He was not in the least bit scared to being mashed into a pulp, or to have his eyes carved out, and his elbows broken. To have his kneecap split, and his body burned away, and his limbs all hacked and mangled, brave Sir Robin. His head smashed in and heart cut out, and his liver removed, and his bowels unplugged, and his nostrils ripped and his bottom burned off and his penis.

4

Narrator
Narrator: The wise Sir Bedevere was the first to join King Arthur's knights, but other illustrious names were soon to follow: Sir Launcelot the Brave, Sir Galahad the Pure, and Sir Robin the Not-quite-so-brave-as-Sir-Launcelot who had nearly fought the Dragon of Angnor, who had nearly stood up to the viscious Chicken of Bristol and who had personally wet himself at the Battle of Badon Hill, and the aptly named Sir Not-appearing-in-this-film. Together they formed a band whose names and deeds were to be retold throughout the centuries, the Knights of the Round Table.

5

Narrator
Narrator: In the frozen land of Nador, they were forced to eat Robin's minstrels and there was much rejoicing.

6

Peasant
Peasant: I feel happy! I feel happy!

7

Prince Herbert

Prince Herbert
Prince Herbert: To whoever finds this note: I have been imprisoned by my father who wishes me to marry against my will. Please, please, please come and rescue me. I am in the tall tower of Swamp Castle.

8

Tim

Tim
Tim: Follow. But! Follow only if ye be men of valour, for the entrance to this cave is guarded by a creature so foul, so cruel that no man yet has fought with it and lived! Bones of full fifty men lie strewn about its lair. So, brave knights, if you do doubt your courage or your strength, come no further, for death awaits you all with nasty, big, pointy teeth.

9


#c97013	#eda622	#6e645a

10

Witch

Witch
Witch: I'm not a witch, I'm not a witch!

3

Zoot

Zoot
Zoot: And after the spanking, the oral sex!

4

Zoot

Zoot
Zoot: You must spank her well, and after you are done with her, you may deal with her as you like... and then, spank me!

5

Zoot

Zoot
Zoot: Yes! Yes, you must give us all a good spanking!

3

Zoot

Zoot
Zoot: We are but eight score young blondes and brunettes all between 16 and 19 and a half, cut off in this castle with no one to protect us. Oh, it is a lonely life. Bathing, dressing, undressing, making exciting underwear. We are not used to handsome knights.

3

Zoot's identical twin sister's name at C...

Zoot's identical twin sister's name at Castle Anthrax.

	Bingo
	Ringo
	Dingo

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