Fiction Empire

Aaron Samuels
Aaron Samuels: Your face smells like peppermint!

Bethany Byrd

Bethany Byrd
Bethany Byrd: Somebody wrote in that book that I'm lying about being a virgin because I use super jumbo tampons... but I can't help it if I've got a heavy flow and a wide set vagina!

Bethany Byrd

Bethany Byrd
Bethany Byrd: I saw Cady Heron wearing army pants and flip flops, so I bought army pants and flip flops.

Cady Heron

Cady Heron
Cady Heron: My stomach felt like it was going to fall out of my butt.

Cady Heron

Cady Heron
Cady Heron: Yeah, everyone in Africa can read Swedish.

Cady Heron

Cady Heron
Cady Heron: Half the people in this room are mad at me, and the other half only like me because they think I pushed somebody in front a bus, so that's not good.

Cady Heron

Cady Heron
Cady Heron: I know it may look like I was being like a bitch, but that's only because I was acting like a bitch.

Cady Heron

Cady Heron
Cady Heron: Grool... I meant to say cool and then I started to say great.

Cady Heron & Damian

Cady Heron & Damian
Cady Heron: Who are the Plastics?
Damian: They're teen royalty. If North Shore was Us Weekly, they would always be on the cover.

Cady Heron & Regina George

Cady Heron & Regina George
Cady Heron: Your house is really nice.
Regina George:I know, right?

Coach Carr

Coach Carr
Coach Carr: Don't have sex, because you will get pregnant and die! Don't have sex in the missionary position, don't have sex standing up, just don't do it, OK, promise? OK, now everybody take some rubbers.

Coach Carr

Coach Carr
Coach Carr: At your age, you're going to have a lot of urges. You're going to want to take off your clothes, and touch each other. But if you do touch each other, you will get chlamydia... and die.

Damian

Damian
Damian: My nana takes her wig off when she's drunk.

Damian

Damian
Damian: This girl is deep.

Damian

Damian
Damian: She asked me how to spell orange.

Gretchen Wieners
Gretchen Wieners: It's so fetch.

Gretchen Wieners
Gretchen Wieners: Regina, you're wearing sweatpants. It's Monday.

Gretchen Wieners
Gretchen Wieners: I'm sorry that people are so jealous of me... but I can't help it that I'm popular.

Gretchen Wieners
Gretchen Wieners: That was so fetch!

Gretchen Wieners
Gretchen Wieners: Irregardless, ex-boyfriends are just off limits to friends. I mean that's just like the rules of feminism.

Gretchen Wieners
Gretchen Wieners: You may think you like someone, but you could be wrong.

Gretchen Wieners
Gretchen Wieners: Oh my god, Karen, you can't just ask people why they're white.

Homeschooled Boy

Homeschooled Boy
Homeschooled Boy: And on the third day, God created the Remington bolt-action rifle, so that Man could fight the dinosaurs. And the homosexuals.

Janis Ian

Janis Ian
Janis Ian: You're not pretending anymore, you're plastic!

Janis Ian

Janis Ian
Janis Ian: Okay, yeah. I've got an apology. So, I have this friend who is a new student this year. And I convinced her that it would be fun to mess up Regina George's life. So I had her pretend to be friends with Regina, and then she would come to my house after and we would just laugh about all the dumb stuff Regina said. And we gave these candy bar things that would make her gain weight, and then we turned her best friends against her. And then... Oh yeah, Cady - you know my friend Cady? She made out with her boyfriend, and we convinced him to break up with her. Oh, God, and we gave her foot cream instead of face wash.

Janis Ian

Janis Ian
Janis Ian: Did you have an awesome time? Did you drink awesome shooters, listen to awesome music, and then just sit around and soak up each others awesomeness?

Janis Ian

Janis Ian
Janis Ian: Regina George is not sweet! She's a scum-sucking road whore, she ruined my life!

Janis Ian

Janis Ian
Janis Ian: Oh, I love seeing teachers outside of school. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs.

Janis Ian

Janis Ian
Janis Ian: There are two kinds of evil people in this world. Those who do evil stuff and those who see evil stuff being done and don't try to stop it.

Jason

Jason
Jason: Is your muffin buttered? Would you like us to assign someone to butter your muffin?

Karen Smith

Karen Smith
Karen Smith: On Wednesdays we wear pink!

Karen Smith

Karen Smith
Karen Smith: Gretchen, I'm sorry I laughed at you that time you got diarrhea at Barnes & Nobles. And I'm sorry for telling everyone about it. And I'm sorry for repeating it now.

Karen Smith

Karen Smith
Karen Smith: There's a 30% chance that it's already raining!

Karen Smith

Karen Smith
Karen Smith: On Wednesdays, we wear pink.

Karen Smith

Karen Smith
Karen Smith: So if you're from Africa, why are you white?

Mr. Duvall

Mr. Duvall
Mr. Duvall: Coach Carr, step away from the underage girls!

Mrs. George

Mrs. George
Mrs. George: I just want you to know, if you ever need anything, don't be shy, OK? There are no rules in the house. I'm not like a regular mom, I'm a cool mom.

Mrs. George

Mrs. George
Mrs. George: Hey, hey, hey. How are my best girlfriends?

Ms. Norbury

Ms. Norbury
Ms. Norbury: Oh, hi. Did you wanna buy some drugs?

The Plastics

Criminals

Gangs

The Plastics
Cady: Who are the Plastics?
Damian: They're teen royalty. If North Shore was Us Weekly, they would always be on the cover.

Regina George
Regina George: Gretchen, stop trying to make fetch happen! It's not going to happen!

Regina George
Regina George: These sweatpants are all that fits me right now.

Regina George
Regina George: Get in loser, we're going shopping.

Regina George
Regina George: I know she's kind of socially retarded and weird, but she's my friend... so, just promise me you won't make fun of her!

Regina George
Regina George: Fine. You can walk home, bitches.

Regina George
Regina George: Do you know what people say about you? They say you are homeschooled jungle freak who's a less hot version of me. So don't try to act all innocent. You can take that fake apology and shove it straight up your hairy little...

Regina George
Regina George: Why do you wear your hair like that? Your hair looks so sexy pushed back. Cady, will you please tell him his hair looks sexy pushed back?