Fiction Empire

Narrator
Narrator: It wasn't a dark and stormy night. It should have been, but there's the weather for you. For every mad scientist who's had a convenient thunderstorm just on the night his Great Work is complete and lying on the slab, there have been dozens who've sat around aimlessly under the peaceful stars while Igor clocks up the overtime.

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Narrator: Voodoo is a very interesting religion for the whole family, even those members of it who are dead.

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Narrator: The lorry blocked the road. And the corrugated iron blocked the road. And a thirty-foot-high pile of fish blocked the road. It was one of the most effectively blocked roads the sergeant had ever seen.

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Narrator: The kraken stirs. And ten billion sushi dinners cry out for vengeance.

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Narrator: Sister Mary headed through the night-time hospital with the Adversary, Destroyer of Kings, Angel of the Bottomless Pit, Great Beast that is called Dragon, Prince of This World, Father of Lies, Spawn of Satan and Lord of Darkness safely in her arms. She found a bassinet and laid him down in it. He gurgled. She gave him a tickle.

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Narrator: She'd stopped reading the kind of women's magazine that talked about romance and knitting and started reading the kind of women's magazine that talked about orgasms, but apart from making a mental note to have one if ever the occasion presented itself she dismissed them as only romance and knitting in a new form.

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Narrator: Many phenomena - wars, plagues, sudden audits - have been advanced as evidence for the hidden hand of Satan in the affairs of Man, but whenever students of demonology get together the M25 London orbital motorway is generally agreed to be among the top contenders for exhibit A.

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Narrator: Many people, meeting Aziraphale for the first time, formed three impressions: that he was English, that he was intelligent, and that he was gayer than a tree full of monkeys on nitrous oxide.

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Narrator: Kids! Bringing about Armageddon can be dangerous. Do not attempt it in your home.

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Narrator: Jaime had never realized that trees made a sound when they grew, and no-one else had realized it either, because the sound is made over hundreds of years in waves of twenty-four hours from peak to peak. Speed it up, and the sound a tree makes is vrooom.

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Narrator
Narrator: In the Beginning It was a nice day.

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Narrator: If you take the small view, the universe is just something small and round, like those water-filled balls which produce a miniature snowstorm when you shake them. Although, unless the ineffable plan is a lot more ineffable than it's given credit for, it does not have a large plastic snowman at the bottom.

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Narrator: I don't see why it matters what is written. Not when it's about people. It can always be crossed out.

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Narrator: Humans suffering from a conflict of signals aren't the best people to be holding guns, especially when they've just witnessed a natural childbirth, which definitely looked an un-American way of bringing new citizens into the world.

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Narrator: God does not play dice with the universe: He plays an ineffable game of His own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, i.e. everybody, to being involved in an obscure and complex variant of poker in a pitch-dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a Dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time.

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Narrator: Five Pee. It helps to understand the antique finances of the Witchfinder Army if you know the original British monetary system:Two Farthings = One Ha'penny. Two Ha'penny = One Penny. Three Pennies = A Thrupenny Bit. Two Thrupences = A Sixpence. Two Sixpence = One Shilling, or Bob. Two Bob = A Florin. One Florin and One Sixpence = Half a Crown. Four Half Crowns = Ten Bob Note. Two Ten Bob Note = One Pound, or 240 pennies. One Pound and One Shilling = One Guinea. The British resisted decimalized currency for a long time because they thought it was too complicated.

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Narrator: Crowley was in Hell's bad books. Not that Hell has any other kind.

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Narrator: A man threw himself through the window, a knife between his teeth, a Kalashnikov automatic rifle in one hand, a grenade in the other. "I glaim gis oteg in der gaing og der." He paused. He took the knife out of his teeth and began again.

Superior Demons

Superior Demons
Superior Demons: All you can hope for is the mercy of Hell.

Untitled

Themes

Wall v1, The


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War

War
War: This isn't how I imagined it, chaps, I haven't been waiting for thousands of years just to fiddle around with bits of wire. It's not what you'd call dramatic. Albrecht Duerer didn't waste his time doing woodcuts of the Four Button-Pressers of the Apocalypse, I do know that.

What game is god playing?

What is the full title of the novel?

Questions

What game is god playing?

	Chess
	You\|d think it was dice
	An ineffable game of his own devising

What is the name of the Horseman that is...

Questions

What is the full title of the novel?

	Good Omens, or The Prophetically Accurate Niceties of Nutty Witch Agnes
	Good Omens, or The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch
	Good Omens, or The Nicely Prophetic Accuracies of Agnes of the Nutter Witches

Name Game-Animals

What is the name of the Horseman that is substituted for Pestilence?

	Pollution
	Prostitution
	Perversion

When will Armageddon occur?