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 Exact order 
FUTURE MAN 2017 TV Series
  • Tiger: Gut knife! Gut knife! Fucking gut knife motherfucker! (Season 1 episode A Date with Destiny)

Real dates. Fictional events.
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Fictional business and products... and more
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  • Quotes
    • Big Time & Josh Futturman
      • Big Time: Escape is futile.
        Josh Futturman: Okay, that is enough out of you, Dr. Manhattan.
        (Season 3 episode Time Rogues III: Escape from Forever)
    • Corey Wolf-Hart
      • Corey Wolf-Hart: Stop giggling in the Truffledome! (Season 1 episode Beyond the Truffledome)
    • Dasha Ovechkina
      • Dasha Ovechkina: Now it is I who will plow your soil. (Season 3 episode There Will Be Borscht)
    • Dr. Camillo
      • Dr. Camillo: Sorry doesn't re-swab those urethras.
    • Gabe Futturman
      • Gabe Futturman (young Gabe in 1985 imitating Darth Vader after inhaling nitrous oxide): Joosh, I am your father. (Season 1 episode Operation: Natal Attraction)
      • Gabe Futturman: The only punishment for failure is a hug. (Season 1 episode Justice Desserts)
    • Jesus
      • Jesus (Josh's hallucination): Josh, you will go to the Dagobah System. There you will learn from Yoda, the Jedi master who instructed me. (Season 2 episode Guess Who's Coming to Lunch)
    • Jesus Christ
      • Jesus Christ: Uh-oh… He is risen. (Season 3 episode The Land After Time)
    • Josh
      • Josh: Come with me if you want to live. And I mean, truly live. (Season 1 episode Operation: Natal Attraction)
    • Josh Futturman
      • Josh Futturman (dancing): Superman that hoe! Superman that hoe! Superman that hoe! (Season 1 episode Herpe: Fully Loaded)
    • Josh Futturman, Tiger & Wolf
      • Josh Futturman: Where the hell have you guys been?
        Tiger: The 40's.
        Wolf: The 90's.
        (Season 1 episode Prelude to an Apocalypse)
    • Nerd & Josh Futturman
      • Nerd: Who would win in a fight between Blade and Neo?
        Josh Futturman: Obviously that all depends upon whether or not they're inside the Matrix…
        (Season 3 episode Haven is for Real)
    • Stu Camillo
      • Stu Camillo (singing): Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer do. I'm half crazy all for the love of you. (Season 2 episode Exes and OS)
    • Tiger
      • Tiger: Are you blocking his cock right now, because it seems like he's blocking yours. (Season 1 episode Herpe: Fully Loaded)
      • Tiger: You - give me your clothes. (Pilot episode)
      • Tiger: Gut knife! Gut knife! Fucking gut knife motherfucker! (Season 1 episode A Date with Destiny)
      • Tiger: You want to dance? Let's Lindy hop! (Season 3 episode Trapper's Delight)
    • Tiger & Josh Futturman
      • Tiger: I'm done doing this the nice way. You're getting a scorpion up your snatch.
        Josh Futturman: Isn't there a middle step there?
        Tiger: No. Scorp in the snatch.
        (Season 1 episode A Blowjob Before Dying)
    • Tiger & Wolf
      • Tiger: This is just like our escape from the slave mines of Ganderloo!
        Wolf: Minus all the Hollandaise… Check that - garlic aioli.
        (Season 1 episode A Blowjob Before Dying)
    • Tiger, Josh Futturman & Wolf
      • Tiger: Kronish is two days away from releasing the cure. We need to kill Kronish, destroy his research, and blow up the Kronitroium. This is our only chance.

        Josh Futturman: Wow, so we're going, like, full-on T2.
        Wolf: Judgment Day. Arnold was a frequent customer at Wolf-Hart's, and a good friend… Oh, man, we had some sexcapades.
        (Season 1 episode Prelude to an Apocalypse)
    • Ty-Anne & Josh Futturman
      • Ty-Anne: You want to live or die?
        Josh: Oh, live.
        Ty-Anne: Then you better come with me.
        (Season 2 episode The Ballad of Pup-E Q. Barkington)
    • Wolf
      • Wolf: Getting out of a long-promised threesome with Vince Neil and Tawny Kitaen was much harder than this bullshit excuse for The Running Man, which, by the way, I did an uncredited rewrite on. The first draft was a disaster with a capital D. (Season 3 episode The Precipice of Yesterday)
      • Wolf: Moruga scorpion. The world's spiciest chili powder. Don't eat it if you're not interested in shitting blood. Man, when you're in a jam, a pinch of this will save the dish. (Season 1 episode Girth, Wind & Fire)
      • Wolf: I'm good at two things: Beating as and eating ass. Bad news for you: Chow time's over. (Season 2 episode The Ballad of Pup-E Q. Barkington)
      • Wolf: So I grabbed Eagle and I said, "You're going back through that acid fire and retrieving the Yusopov amulet or none of us are going to make it back to Storm Base 9 before the Jizzadrean Kill Squad.” (Season 1 episode A Blowjob Before Dying)
      • Wolf: Back in the 80s, me and Arnold used to work out together. Schwarzenegger. He set me up with a little office on the Paramount lot. Said I was the only one he could trust to read his scripts, which is how I got my hands on a little jewel called T2: Judgment Day. And judge I did. It was a firecracker, blowing up the way we think about sci-fi. It was also frighteningly prescient about the realities and dangers of time travel. And I buried it. I convinced Arnold that he shouldn't do a sequel. True artists never repeat themselves. (Season 2 episode J1: Judgment Day)
      • Wolf: All right, rip his fucking throat out… or at least try to rip his fucking throat out! (Season 1 episode A Fuel's Errand)
      • Wolf: Your cover story fell apart like a shit in your hands. (Season 1 episode A Fuel's Errand)
      • Wolf: Do you know how many times we've turned a death sentence into a life paragraph? (Season 3 episode The Precipice of Yesterday)
      • Wolf: The antidote for failure is punishment. (Season 1 episode Justice Desserts)
      • Wolf: Fuck this, back to Plan A, Operation Gas Chamber. (Season 1 episode Justice Desserts)
    • Wolf & Josh Futturman
      • Wolf: It was a hell of a weekend. Just one problem, weekends end. Or do they? That very weekend I had a brainstorm to spin a tapestry of eternal cool, Cabo Wabo Cantina.
        Josh Futturman: Didn't Sammy Hagar...
        Wolf: Sammy Hagar invented nothing. He just showed up on Sunday morning uninvited, stole my favorite Joe camel beach towel and my idea. He turned Cabo Waco into a fucking joke.
        (Season 3 episode Haven is for Real)
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