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IDEAL HOME 2018 Film
  • Paul: I've never had supermarket sushi in my life. Unless it was late at night and I was blackout drunk and I don't remember, and that probably happened.

Fictional business and products... and more
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  • Quotes
    • Erasmus
      • Forget "Pin the Tail on the Donkey." Try "Pinning the Tail on Ganesh," the elephant-headed Hindu deity at your next children's party. I'm going to take you on a tour of the Indian subcontinent, where we're going to discover the secrets of tandoori lobster dogs, saffron cupcakes, and tamarind ice cream. This is your passage to India. I'm Erasmus Brumble, and this is Ideal Home.
    • Melissa & Paul
      • Melissa (Child Protective Services): The thing about a lock is, it has no meaning if there's a key in it.
        Paul: Is that Confucius? No, that's true.
    • Paul
      • Paul: I've never had supermarket sushi in my life. Unless it was late at night and I was blackout drunk and I don't remember, and that probably happened.
    • Paul & Bill
      • Paul: I want 20 crunch wraps with bacon, please.
        Taco Bell: Twenty?
        Paul: Twenty.
        Bill: Why'd you get 20 of 'em?
        Paul: Because I'm gonna freeze them and then thaw them out every morning.
        Bill: That's... not going to work.And it's weird. Why can't I just take them to school in a Taco Bell bag?
        Paul: Because I've written articles for Server magazine.
    • Paul & Erasmus
      • (Talking about the porn version of Brokeback Mountain) Paul: What they do is take a recognized title and just give it a bit of a cheeky twist.
        Erasmus: It's unusual in that the source material is also gay.
      • (Talking about E.T.) Paul: I love when his finger lights up. That's how you can tell he's an alien.
        Erasmus: And his face.
        Paul: And his face.

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