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  • Melissa (Child Protective Services): The thing about a lock is, it has no meaning if there's a key in it.
    Paul: Is that Confucius? No, that's true.

Fictional business and products... and more
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  • Department, Discount and General Stores
    • Mallmart
      • Probably Walmart, but Erasmus can't remember the name of the store they went to - he calls it Waymart, and Mallmart.
    • Waymart
      • Probably Walmart, but Erasmus can't remember the name of the store they went to - he calls it Waymart, and Mallmart.
  • Games
    • Pinning The Tail On Ganesh
      • Forget "Pin the Tail on the Donkey." Try "Pinning the Tail on Ganesh," the elephant-headed Hindu deity at your next children's party.
  • Healthcare-Other
    • Mountain Ambulance
      • Ambulance that picks up Paul and Bill when Paul thinks he's having a heart attack for the tenth time.
  • Magazines-Other
    • Server Magazine
      • Magazine Paul mentions having written articles for.
  • Movies-Porn
    • Bareback Mountain
      • Gay porn version of Brokeback Mountain - it's unusual in that the source material is also gay, (not) locked away in Erasmus and Paul's porn closet.
    • Buttpluggerz
      • Gay porn (not) locked away in Erasmus and Paul's porn closet.
    • Sex Wars: Phantom Ass
      • Gay porn version of Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace, (not) locked away in Erasmus and Paul's porn closet.
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