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 Exact order 
STEVEN WRIGHT 1980 Comedy Acts
  • Stephen Wright: A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

Fictional business and products... and more
  • Airlines
    • Air Bizarre
      • Airline Steven mentions on I Have a Pony. You can get a combination one way round trip ticket - Leave any Monday they bring you back the previous Friday. That way you still have the weekend.
  • Artwork
    • Two Blindfolded Dental Hygienists Trying to Make a Circle on an Etch a Sketch
      • A fake painting by Salvador Dali Steven mentions on I have a pony.
  • Schools-Other
    • Calcium Anthropology
      • The study of milkmen - from I Have a Pony.
  • Stephen Wright: We had a quicksand box in our backyard. I was an only child. Eventually.

  • Stephen Wright: I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out.

  • Stephen Wright: I took a lie detector test the other day. No I didn't.

  • Stephen Wright: There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore like an idiot.

  • Stephen Wright: I like to skate on the other side of the ice.

  • Stephen Wright: If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

  • Stephen Wright: Be nice to your children. After all, they are going to choose your nursing home.

  • Stephen Wright: A friend of mine once sent me a postcard with a picture of the entire planet Earth taken from space. On the back it said, "Wish you were here."

  • Stephen Wright: When the guy who made the first drawing board got it wrong, what did he go back to?

  • Stephen Wright: I was reading the dictionary the other day. I thought it was a poem about everything.

  • Stephen Wright: A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

  • Stephen Wright: I didn't sleep well. I made several mistakes.

  • Stephen Wright: I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place.

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