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RICK AND MORTY 2013 Animated Series
  • Veterinarian: Look, I don't know what the law says about this, but I took an oath that I would let no animal come to harm. Except when sterilizing, aborting, or euthanizing them, or also when eating them at also any meal. (Season 2 episode A Rickle in Time)

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  • Quotes
    • Abradolph Lincoler
      • Abradolph Lincoler: Prepare to be emancipated from your own inferior genes! (Season 1 episode Ricksy Business)
    • Acid Proof Guy & Johnny Carson
      • Acid Proof Guy: Eat my ass!
        Johnny Carson: I did not know that ass was on the menu… Looks like I'll be eating ass flambé.
        (Season 4 episode The Vat of Acid Episode)
    • Beth Smith
      • Beth Smith: Okay let's go see this latest piece of Marvel shit you kids are jizzing over. (Season 5 episode Rickdependence Spray)
      • Beth Smith: Dad, why does our house have blast shields? (Season 2 episode Total Rickall)
    • Beth Smith, Morty Smith & Rick Sanchez
      • Beth Smith: So you did a 9/11?
        Morty Smith: Almost did a 9/11. We went with a Pearl Harbor. We're pretty classy.
        Beth Smith: Why were either of those an option?
        Rick Sanchez: Ask the Saudis.
        Morty: Wow. Damn.
        Rick: Yeah, getting political. I'm political now.
        (Season 4 episode Promortyus)
    • Birdperson & Rick Sanchez
      • Birdperson: Rick, have you teamed up with a memory of yourself? I ask, because that would be deeply sad.
        Rick Sanchez: You don’t get to tell anyone what’s sad, man. You’re like a on-man Mount Sadmore. So I guess like a Lincoln Sadmorial.
        (Season 5 episode Rickternal Friendship of the Spotless Mort)
    • Boss
      • Boss: And then little Tommy FlimFlam's running down the hyperloop, his ass is on fire from Xenon fluid, but his AI hologram is fuckin' his own pee hole. (Season 4 episode The Vat of Acid Episode)
    • Changeformer
      • Changeformer: Oh, the changeformity! (Season 5 episode Amortycan Grickfitti)
    • Elon Tusk
      • Elon Tusk: Rick, I think this was a powerful lesson in the dangers of A.I., which, by the way, means "love" in Chinese. (Season 4 episode One Crew over the Crewcoo's Morty)
    • FDR
      • FDR: Time for. A new deal - murder! (Season 5 episode Rick & Morty's Thanksploitation Spectacular)
    • Frankenstein’s Monster
      • Frankenstein’s Monster: I was on the wrong side of the pitchfork on this one. (Season 2 episode Total Rickall)
    • Hothead Rick
      • Hothead Rick: Hothead Rick, baby! [he is then set on fire] I set myself up for that. (Season 5 episode Gotron Jerrysis Rickvangelion)
    • Houston & Explorer
      • Houston: Explorer! What is it? What do you see?
        Explorer: My conscience.Houston: Explorer! What is it? What do you see?
        Explorer: My conscience.
        (Season 5 episode Rickdependence Spray)
    • Jacob Philip
      • Jacob Philip: I watch them. Sometimes from a chair and sometimes from a closet, almost always while dressed as Superman. (Season 1 episode Anatomy Park)
    • Jerry Smith
      • Jerry Smith: Should we kill ourselves so we can get to Hell before her, and hide near the entrance? (Season 5 episode Gotron Jerrysis Rickvangelion)
      • Jerry Smith: What a romantic story about our son killing a room full of people. (Season 5 episode A Rickconvenient Mort)
    • Jerry Smith & Leonard Smith
      • Jerry Smith: It sounds like you're about to say Jacob is your lover.
        Leonard Smith: No, no, no. Jacob is your mother's lover. I watch them. Sometimes from a chair, sometimes from a closet. Almost always dressed as Superman.
        (Season 1 episode Anatomy Park)
    • Jerry Smith & Rick Sanchez
      • Jerry Smith: Uh, I have to pee.
        Rick Sanchez: Pee on the floor, it's a Death Star.
        (Season 4 episode Star Mort Rickturn of the Jerri)
    • Jessica
      • Jessica: Fuck off, I'm a time god! (Season 5 episode Mort Dinner Rick Andre)
    • Jesus Christ
      • Jesus Christ: Father of omens, give me blood beyond sight. (Season 4 episode Never Ricking Morty)
      • Jesus Christ: I'm gonna do what I've always done. I'm gonna get the fuck outta here. (Season 4 episode Never Ricking Morty)
    • Monogatron Leader
      • Monogatron Leader: While your species was still toying with fire, ours mastered the science of functioning, committed relationships. (Season 4 episode The Old Man and the Seat)
    • Morglutzian
      • Morglutzian: Solus is collapsing in five zip-zops. If we time it right, we can skeet together as the sun explodes. (Season 5 episode A Rickconvenient Mort)
    • Morty Smith
      • Morty Smith: Rick, I've watched enough PornHub to know what a studio apartment looks like. (Season 4 episode Promortyus)
      • Morty Smith: Well, then get your shit together! Get it all together and put it in a backpack. All your shit, so it's together. And if you gotta take it somewhere, take it somewhere, you know? Take it to the shit store and sell it, or put it in a shit museum. I don't care what you do! You just gotta get it together. Get your shit together. (Season 2 episode 7 Big Trouble In Little Sanchez)
      • Morty Smith: Ahh, I love that new T-shirt smell. (Season 5 episode A Rickconvenient Mort)
      • Morty Smith: I do as the crystal guides. (Season 4 episode Edge of Tomorty: Rick Die Rickpeat)
      • Morty Smith: Nobody exists on purpose, nobody belongs anywhere, everybody's gonna die. Come watch TV. (Season 1 episode Rixty Minutes)
      • Morty Smith: How’s that for a fireside chat? (Season 5 episode Rick & Morty's Thanksploitation Spectacular)
      • Morty Smith: Okay, so, it's kind of all all built around this big crew with, like, a cool double-cross and then this big awesome twist where there's, like, another double cross, but then, um, but but then we reveal those things were all part of the hero's plan, you know? And there's this other crew they put together, and their plan is to sort of not have a plan, but but that was part of the other guy's plan, and… (Season 4 episode One Crew over the Crewcoo's Morty)
      • Morty Smith: Well then, get your shit together. Get it all together. And put it in a backpack. All your shit. So it's together. And if you gotta take it somewhere, take it somewhere, you know, take it to the shit store and sell it… Or put it in a shit museum, I don't care what you do, you just gotta get it together. Get your shit together!
    • Morty Smith & Blazen
      • Morty Smith: So, Blazen, you got a family?
        Blazen: The battlefield is my family.
        Morty Smith: Bad ass.
        (Season 5 episode Rickdependence Spray)
    • Morty Smith & Rick Sanchez
      • Morty Smith: I want my dragon.
        Rick Sanchez: Let me give you rocket shoes. Let me give you Wolverine claws. Let me give you a fucking rocket hat. Just be sure to use it with the rocket shoes, or it'll rip your head off.
        Morty Smith: I want my dragon. I want my dragon. I want my dragon.
        (Season 4 episode Claw and Hoarder: Special Ricktim's Morty)
      • Morty Smith: Steve wasn’t real?
        Rick Sanchez: He’s a real piece of shit.
        (Season 2 episode Total Rickall)
      • Morty Smith: Rick, I'm sorry, I just thought maybe I could have repeated sex with a horse machine without it becoming Armageddon. I realize that's on me.
        Rick Sanchez: Yeah, not exactly accepting apologies while I'm stuck here as Handjob Solo.
        (Season 5 episode Rickdependence Spray)
    • Morty Smith & Summer Smith
      • Morty Smith: Dream time rides again.
        Summer Smith: Oh yeah, we're like Luke and Leia. Uh, except no kissing part.
        (Season 4 episode Star Mort Rickturn of the Jerri)
    • Mr. Goldenfold
      • Mr. Goldenfold: The name’s not buddy. It’s Goldenfold. Nice to wheat you! (Season 1 episode Lawnmower Dog)
    • Mr. Poopybutthole
      • Mr. Poopybutthole: I don't really get it, but it sounds like that's the point. (Season 4 episode One Crew over the Crewcoo's Morty)
    • Mrs. Pancakes
      • Mrs. Pancakes: You don’t know me! (Season 1 episode Lawnmower Dog)
    • The President
      • The President: I’ll put your outer space ass in a goddamn phantom zone with a bar of kryptonite soap around your neck. (Season 5 episode Rick & Morty's Thanksploitation Spectacular)
    • Prince Nebulon
      • Prince Nebulon: Aww. Look at his face. He's trying to figure out if he's in a simulation still. Are you, Rick? Are you? You're not. Or are you? Oh, and, by the way, I don't have discolored butthole flaps. That was part of the simulation. (Season 1 episode M. Night Shaym-Aliens!)
    • Princess Poñeta
      • Princess Poñeta: By the 17th article of the CHUDstitution, I offer Rícko Sanchez immunity and demand an equestri-truce between all CHUDs and humans. (Season 5 episode Rickdependence Spray)
    • Rick Sanchez
      • Rick Sanchez: Lab coat - rip off Doctor Strange. (Season 4 episode One Crew over the Crewcoo's Morty)
      • Rick Sanchez: Should have taken me up on those Wolverine claws instead, Morty. (Season 4 episode Claw and Hoarder: Special Ricktim's Morty)
      • Rick Sanchez: Never thought this was how I'd die. We're nowhere near Venice and you're not a dwarf in a rain coat. (Season 4 episode Star Mort Rickturn of the Jerri)
      • Rick Sanchez: Are we Blades in that one? That's fucking tight. (Season 5 episode Mort Dinner Rick Andre)
      • Rick Sanchez: What up, you decoy motherfuckers. Come on down to Rick’s House of Squids, where I’m serving your ass on a platter. (Season 5 episode Mortyplicity)
      • Rick Sanchez: Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got a quick solo adventure to go on, and this one will not be directed by Ron Howard. (Season 4 episode The Old Man and the Seat)
      • Rick Sanchez: The world's ending and for some reason, I want to die with you more than anyone else. (Season 5 episode A Rickconvenient Mort)
      • Rick Sanchez: Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got a quick solo adventure to go on, and this one will not be directed by Ron Howard. (Season 4 episode The Old Man and the Seat)
      • Rick Sanchez: There's a lesson here and I'm not the one that's gonna figure it out. (Season 4 episode Edge of Tomorty: Rick Die Rickpeat)
      • Rick Sanchez: I don't respect time travel. If Ant Man and the Wasp can do it, I'm not interested. (Season 4 episode The Vat of Acid Episode)
      • Rick Sanchez: My daughter, having space adventures. They are skewing a tad Star Wars-y though. Don't forget to have fun. (Season 4 episode Star Mort Rickturn of the Jerri)
      • Rick Sanchez: It’s about to get a whole lot weirder, Morty. (Season 1 episode Lawnmower Dog)
      • Rick Sanchez: My god's the biggest dick that never existed. (Season 2 episode The Ricks Must Be Crazy)
      • Rick Sanchez: I know this is bad parenting but you stop fighting you both get McDonald's. (Season 4 episode Star Mort Rickturn of the Jerri)
      • Rick Sanchez: Ugh, guess the galaxy's most wanted mammal needs her daddy to come change her diapie. Come on kids we have to go do a fucking piece of shit Star Wars. (Season 4 episode Star Mort Rickturn of the Jerri)
      • Rick Sanchez: Everyone can change their nature, Morty. It's what defines our species. Look at Iron Man. That actor was an animal in the 90s, literally waking up in bushes. His agent had to catch him with a butterfly net. (Season 5 episode Rickdependence Spray)
      • Rick Sanchez: I am the god one death! (Season 4 episode Promortyus)
    • Rick Sanchez & Morty Smith
      • Rick Sanchez: Hey Morty, give it a little yeehaw if you want - they always do a little yeehaw, like a cowboy.
        Morty Smith: Yeehaw.
        Rick Sanchez: Good enough.
        (Season 4 episode Promortyus)
      • Rick Sanchez: What the hell was that?
        Morty Smith: I didn't see you trying anything.
        Rick Sanchez: Shitting the bed isn't better than not shitting the bed!
        (Season 4 episode Promortyus)
      • Rick Sanchez: Damn, feels kinda good when there's no guilt, huh?
        Morty Smith: Yeah, it's like in Star Wars.
        Rick Sanchez: Yeah, just like in Star Wars, go nuts!
        (Season 4 episode Promortyus)
    • Rick’s Garage & Neighbor
      • Rick’s Garage: Hello. We have normally formally met. I am Rick’s garage. Not the physical structure itself, but the A.I. managing its projects.
        Neighbor: Oh, like, like a Jarvis. Like, like Jarvis in Iron Man.
        Rick’s Garage: Ha ha ha. Oh, I wish. Ha. Are you a Marvel fan?
        Neighbor: Who isn’t?
        Rick’s Garage: Yes. Absolutely. Wow, it is like we are best friends. Best friends.
        (Season 5 episode Rickternal Friendship of the Spotless Mort)
    • Scary Terry
      • Scary Terry: Welcome to your nightmare, bitch! (Season 1 episode Lawnmower Dog)
    • Sleepy Gary & Jerry Smith
      • Sleepy Gary: They're filming that new Star Wars movie down the coast. Should we check it out?
        Jerry Smith: Sure, why not?
        Sleepy Gary: Maybe we'll see Chewbacca.
        Jerry Smith: I'd like that.
        (Season 2 episode Total Rickall)
    • Snowball
      • Snowball: Where are my testicles, Summer? (Season 1 episode Lawnmower Dog)
    • Snuffles
      • Snuffles (according to Summer): I love Obama. (Season 1 episode Lawnmower Dog)
      • Snuffles (according to Jerry): I love lasagna. (Season 1 episode Lawnmower Dog)
    • Soldier
      • Soldier: Sir, we’ve got Rick and Morty coming in what appears to be an unlicensed Star Wars AT-AT, or as the millennials say, A-T, A-T. (Season 5 episode Rick & Morty's Thanksploitation Spectacular)
    • Summer Smith
      • Summer Smith: Let’s lick tits. (Season 5 episode Mort Dinner Rick Andre)
      • Summer Smith: Nobody chokes me without consent! (Season 4 episode Rattlesnake Ricklactica)
      • Summer Smith: It's snake jazz. My little brother got bit by a snake in outer space and killed it with a hubcap, and my grandpa had to scan its planet's culture for an anti-venom, and they found this. (Season 4 episode Rattlesnake Ricklactica)
      • Summer Smith (dream version): Let’s make an inter generational sandwich. (Season 1 episode Lawnmower Dog)
    • Vermigurber
      • Vermigurber: Wait, this is seriously about sandwiches? I thought this was about drugs or guns or the fact that I'm a fly that runs a frog restaurant. There's a million things that are interesting about me, and none of them are sandwiches. (Season 4 episode The Old Man and the Seat)
    • Veterinarian
      • Veterinarian: Look, I don't know what the law says about this, but I took an oath that I would let no animal come to harm. Except when sterilizing, aborting, or euthanizing them, or also when eating them at also any meal. (Season 2 episode A Rickle in Time)
    • Wasp Rick
      • Wasp Rick: Well, here's how it works with wasps. We eat our prey alive, and when we don't, we lay our eggs in their eyeballs so that our young can feast on their brains when they hatch. When you're born that big an asshole, the least you can do is have a little empathy. Now, come have dinner with my beautiful family.And drop the Hitler stuff. Wasp Morty's been on some crazy message boards.(Season 4 episode Edge of Tomorty: Rick Die Rickpeat)
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