Home | SOURCES | Bogus Business Bureau | Fictitious Timeline | Themes
 Exact order 
FARSCAPE
1999 TV Series


Real dates. Fictional events.
3

Fictional business and products... and more
470
64

  • John Crichton: Life sucks, doesnft it?
    Ka D'Argo: Quite often, in fact.
    (Season 4 episode Lava is a Many Splendored Thing)

  • John Crichton: Well, you gotta know how deep the doo-doo is if you're gonna dig your way out. (Season 3 episode Self-Inflicted Wounds, Part 1: Could'a, Would'a, Should'a)

  • Sikozu: And why did you come here? You do realize that this is a damaged Leviathan with a fraudulent pilot and a crew of idiots, do you not? They need help. (Season 4 episode Promises)

  • John Crichton: I'm telling you, Aeryn, it was from Earth. A television transmission.
    Aeryn Sun: What, you mean like that Yoda from Dagobah?
    John Crichton: No, no, no, no. Three Stooges.
    (Season 3 episode Self-Inflicted Wounds, Part 2: Wait for the Wheel)

  • John Crichton: Well, you gotta know how deep the doo-doo is if you're gonna dig your way out. (Season 3 episode Self-Inflicted Wounds, Part 1: Could'a, Would'a, Should'a)

  • John Crichton: This thing is going completely off the rails... or maybe I have. (Season 2 episode Won't Get Fooled Again)

  • Ka D'Argo: Fear accompanies the possibility of death. Calm shepherds its certainty.
    John Crichton: I love hangin' with you, man.
    (Season 1 episode Family Ties)

  • Dominar Rygel XVI: Have you gone totally fahrbot? (Season 3 episode Meltdown)

  • John Crichton: Just like Louisiana. Or Dagobah. You know, where Yoda lives. Little green guy, trains warriors.

  • Chiana: What if I have to piss?
    Ka D'Argo: Well, then we will all urinate together.
    Chiana: You promise?
    (Season 3 episode Losing Time)

  • John Crichton (John Crichton's tombstone following his death in his Looney Toons inspired hallucination, after being knocked unconscious during an altercation with D'Argo): R.I.P. Here lies John Crichton. Human. Astronaut. Natural Born Loser. (Season 3 episode Revenging Angel)

  • Aeryn Sun: The only thing you've ever assaulted is a plate of food cubes. (Season 2 episode Crackers Don't Matter)

  • John Crichton: Welcome to the butthole of the universe. (Season 3 episode Relativity)

  • John Crichton: Attention ladies and gentlemen and all ships at sea. If you look out your front window, you will see, by special request, your very own wormhole weapon. Hey Emperor Sleestak, you big upright iguana, what' does it look like from the Death Star? (The Peacekeeper Wars)

  • John Crichton: Slicker than snot.
    Aeryn Sun: My microbes had to have translated that one wrongly.
    John Crichton: Southern metaphors, darlin'. You ain't heard the half of them.
    (Season 1 episode The Flax)

  • Dominar Rygel XVI: You stupid bony ass little bitch. (Season 2 My Three Crichton's)

  • Aeryn Sun: She gives me a woody. Woody. It's a human saying. I've heard you say it often when you don't trust someone or they make you nervous.
    John Crichton: They give you Willies. She gives you the willies.
    (Season 1 episode Thank God it's Friday. Again.)

  • John Crichton: Oh, riddles. Riddle me this, riddle me that. I have one. Why is it never just the heat, it's the humidity? (Season 4 episode Mental as Anything)

  • Ka D'Argo: Warrior to warrior, I vow one day I will kill you. (Premiere episode)

  • Dominar Rygel XVI: When a women, wether she's your wife, your lover, or a slave you've purchased to be your wife or lover, leaves you repeatedly, take the hint. (Season 4 episode Crichton Kicks)

  • John Crichton: Listen up, Strangelove, I can find wormholes, sense when they will open. Push comes to shove, I can even navigate one. But I cannot make a wormhole weapon! (The Peacekeeper Wars)

  • Dominar Rygel XVI: I don't snatch. I procure. (Season 1 episode A Bug's Life)

  • John Crichton: Let me talk to Captain James T. D'Argo. (Season 4 episode I Shrink Therefore I Am)

  • John Crichton: Kryptonite. Silver bullet. Buffy? What's it going to take to keep you in the grave? (Season 4 episode Promises)

  • John Crichton: All right. Everything is gonna be okay. Do you know why? Because we're done. We're checking out. Finito. Next Ferengi we see, we run. No questions later. (The Peacekeeper Wars)

  • John Crichton: Look princess, I know this trip to Kruegerland was not on your itinerary, but believe it or not, I know exactly how you feel. (Season 3 episode Self-Inflicted Wounds, Part 2: Wait for the Wheel)

  • John Crichton: Severed heads, severed hands - it's a motif. (Season 4 episode Crichton Kicks)

  • John Crichton (imitating Bugs Bunny): Eh, what's up D'Argo? (Season 3 episode Revenging Angel)

  • Aeryn Sun: Well, merry frelling Christmas. (Season 4 episode Terra Firma)

  • John Crichton: I am not Kirk, Spock, Luke, Buck, Flash or Arthur frelling Dent. I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas.

  • John Crichton: Welcome to the Federation Starship S.S. Buttcrack! (Season 3 episode Self-Inflicted Wounds, Part 2: Wait for the Wheel)

  • John Crichton: Behold, the wormhole weapon. (The Peacekeeper Wars)

  • John Crichton: We don't understand the R2-D2 crap. Wefre going to use the Star Trek system. One blink for yes, two blinks for no. You understand? (Season 3 episode Losing Time)

  • John Chrichton: Lately do I seem a little crazy to you?
    Aeryn Sun: What do you mean, lately?
    John Chrichton: Well, I ate one of Molnon's mushrooms.
    (Season 2 episode Taking the Stone)

  • Captain Braca: Commandant Grayza, under Article 6-Rulu, Uniform code of Admiralty Conduct, Section 19. Due to a statement of incapacitation of judgment displayed in multiple encounters under stress, I hereby invoke the transfer of command and relieve you of duty immediately. (Season 4 episode We're So Screwed, Part 3: La Bomba)

  • Dominar Rygel XVI: What the gletch is happening? (Season 3 episode Meltdown)

  • John Crichton: The flower.
    Scorpius: Yes, very important.
    John Crichton: Ah. They'd better be. Is that why they're growing in the Batcave?
    (Season 4 episode We're So Screwed, Part 3: La Bomba)

  • John Crichton: You've been screwing me from the beginning. Screwing everybody, screwing your sister! You been lying' to your daddy, boy and you know you shouldn't lie to your daddy! It's gonna stop! Who's your daddy? Come on, you know who your daddy is. Who's your daddy? D'Argo, tell him who his daddy is.
    Ka D'Argo: I'm your daddy.
    John Crichton: That's right.
    (Season 3 episode Thanks for Sharing)

  • John Crichton: Ah, screw it. But I am not Kirk, Spock, Luke, Buck, Flash or Arthur frelling Dent. I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas.

  • Emperor Staleek: Stop seeing Vitubian Vipers in every shadow and never countermand my orders again! (The Peacekeeper Wars)

  • Aeryn Sun: Crichton, you've told me yourself that your species isn't accustomed to being in space for long periods of time. Now, I have seen cases of transit madness before and if you're cracking up, I want to know. (Season 2 episode Beware of Dog)

  • Emperor Staleek: If your kind has a prayer for the dying, fill your mind with it now that you may be comforted. (The Peacekeeper Wars)

  • John Crichton: First Scarran you see, you tell him who his daddy is. Tell him, D'Argo! (The Peacekeeper Wars)

  • Bobby Coleman: I'm here with IASA Commander John Crichton. The only man to boldly go where no man has gone before. (Season 4 episode A Constellation of Doubt)

  • Zhaan: Confront your demons, Rygel, or they will chase you from the shadows to the pyre. (Season 1 episode PK Tech Girl)

  • John Crichton: Then what am I? Bootleg? A Ghost? Holodeck Crichton? A wandering soul that ain't got no body?

  • John Crichton: Damn, I'm on the brink of devastation, Minnie Pearl.

  • John Crichton: How Batman was that! (Season 2 episode Look at the Princess)

  • John Crichton: She has a word for us. It's called yesterday. (Season 4 episode A Constellation of Doubt)

  • Stark: What about me?
    Aeryn Sun: How best can you help?
    Stark: I can stay out of your way.
    Aeryn Sun: Excellent.
    (The Peacekeeper Wars)

  • Jool: I feel like I had a spiritual enema. (Season 3 episode Losing Time)

  • Scorpius: Braca?
    John Crichton: Yeah. Feel the love, Mr. Burns.

  • Ka D'Argo: Fear accompanies the possibility of death. Calm shepherds its certainty.

  • Harvey: I had toyed with Slim Pickens on the bomb. But this feels far more appropriate to the moment. Don't you think? (The Peacekeeper Wars)

  • John Crichton: Mankind's greatest contribution to the absurd - the thermonuclear bomb. (Season 4 episode We're So Screwed, Part 2: Hot to Katratzi)

  • Ka D'Argo: If you can be an idiot, I can be an idiot. (Season 1 episode The Hidden Memory)

  • 
John Crichton: Wherefd DRD Pike go? (Season 3 episode Losing Time)

  • John Crichton: Kiss my medulla oblongata. (Season 3 episode Infinite Possibilities, Part 1: Daedalus Demands)

  • John Crichton: Flying through wormholes ain't like dusting crops, farm boy. It takes a little finesse. (Season 3 episode Into the Lion's Den, Part 2: Wolf in Sheep's Clothing)

  • John Crichton: Excuse me, Master Jedi - it looks like Sparky's losin' more than a few brain cells in there. (Season 4 episode Mental as Anything)

  • Dominar Rygel XVI: You aren't just fahrbot; you're magra-fahrbot. (Season 1 episode Nerve)

  • Harvey: I think that like religion is an individual choice, either you believe, and therefore bunnies are unnecessary, or you don't, in which case, chocolate. (Season 4 episode Bad Timing)

  • Dominar Rygel XVI: I'm nobody's puppet.

  • Dominar Rygel XVI: I really need to schlock. My bowels hate me. I hate you. (Season 4 episode Lava is a Many Splendored Thing)

15

The Fiction Empire / FictionEmpire.com Concept & Design by MADASIAM Productions © 1999. All Rights Reserved.