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 Exact order 
TWO AND A HALF MEN 2003 TV Series
  • Charlie Harper: Hey, you’re a teacher.
    Mia: Hey, you’re a stalker.
    (Season 3 episode That Voodoo that I Do Do)

Records added in the last month
72
  • Amusement Parks
    • Six Flags Over Crazy Ass Chick Land New record added 8/4/2021
      • Joke Charlie makes about Alan's new nester girlfriend that decorates the house for Christmas. (Season 3 episode Santa's Village of the Damned)
  • Apartment and Condos
    • Valley Hacienda New record added 7/30/2021
      • Apartment complex where Alan plans to move. (Season 3 episode Your Dismissive Attitude Toward Boobs)
  • Bakeries
    • Trunkin’ Donuts New record added 7/30/2021
      • Business idea that Charlie comes up with while commuting to work with Alan - selling donuts from the trunk of his car. He also considers calling it Gridnuts, Trunk Crullers and Stop ‘n’ Go Nuts. (Season 3 episode Principal Gallagher’s Lesbian Lover)
  • Beverages
    • Goofy Juice New record added 7/30/2021
      • Juice Jake drinks. (Season 3 episode Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark)
  • Breakfast Cereal
    • Peanut Butter Crackles New record added 7/30/2021
      • Jake's breakfast cereal. (Season 3 episode Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark)
  • Catering Services
    • Daisy's Classy Catering New record added 7/14/2021
      • Berta recommends her baby sister to cater the party for Evelyn when she gets her golden blazer from the Westside Realtors Association. She also has a fishing tackle business. (Season 2 episode A Kosher slaughterhouse out in Fontana)
  • Coffee Shops
    • Hooterbucks New record added 7/15/2021
      • Alan Harper: Hey, what's that splattered all over your shirt?
        Charlie Harper: Coffee and breast milk.
        Alan Harper: What happened? Did Starbucks merge with Hooters? Hooterbucks - I'd like a Double-D cup Latte, please.
        (Season 2 episode Yes, Monsignor)
  • Comic Books
    • Oshikuru: Demon Samurai New record added 7/15/2021
      • Comic book about a teenage boy in a futuristic society who's possessed by the tortured soul of a a feudal Japanese warrior condemned to walk to the earth fighting the evil he once embodied that's being turned into a cartoon and Charlie writes the theme song. (Season 2 episode The Salmon Under My Sweater)
  • Conditions and Diseases
    • Massive Mammory Syndrome New record added 7/30/2021
      • Alan mentions that he had an article published in which he coined the phrase Massive Mammory Syndrome for women with large breasts in the Journal of the American Chiropractic Association. (Season 3 episode Principal Gallagher’s Lesbian Lover)
  • Corporations
    • Charlie Harper Sucks Ltd New record added 7/15/2021
      • Company in the Cayman Islands that owns the domain name CharlieHarperSucks.com. (Season 2 episode Last Chance to See Those Tattoos)
  • Counselors, Psychiatrists and Therapists
    • Dr. Linda Freeman New record added 8/4/2021
      • Charlie's therapist. (Season 3 episode That Special Tug)
  • Dating, Escort and Sex Services
    • Bumper to Humper New record added 7/30/2021
      • Business idea that Charlie comes up with while commuting to work with Alan - selling sex during traffic jams. He also considers calling it Speed humps and Jiffy lube - but remembers that one's taken. (Season 3 episode Principal Gallagher’s Lesbian Lover)
  • Doctors
    • Dr. Philip Gonzales New record added 8/4/2021
      • Charlie's alias he mentions to escort service while making plans to go to Las Vegas for Christmas. (Season 3 episode Santa's Village of the Damned)
    • Dr. Schwartz New record added 7/19/2021
      • Charlie’s old doctor in Beverly Hills. (Season 2 episode Woo-Hoo, a Hernia Exam!)
    • Dr. Talmadge New record added 7/19/2021
      • Charlie’s new doctor in Beverly Hills. (Season 2 episode Woo-Hoo, a Hernia Exam!)
  • Electronics Stores
    • Radio Barn New record added 7/15/2021
      • Alan buys webcams to be able to see Jake every day when he's at his mother's. (Season 2 episode Last Chance to See Those Tattoos)
  • Elementary Schools
    • Woodward Avenue Elementary School New record added 7/19/2021
      • Jake’s school. (Season 2 episode Can You Eat Human Flesh With Human Teeth?)
  • Fast Food-Chicken
    • Clucky’s New record added 7/30/2021
      • Fast food chicken place where Charlie takes Jake. (Season 3 episode Weekend in Bangkok with Two Olympic Gymnasts)
  • Hospitals
    • The Alan Harper Healing Center New record added 8/4/2021
      • When Alan tells Charlie that their very old neighbor Ms. Seabury has proposed a business arrangement in which he will get an alternative healing center with his name on it called The Alan Harper Healing Center in exchange for being her lover, Charlie suggests he call it The Alan Harper House of Crap instead. (Season 3 episode Madame and her Special Friend)
    • St. John's Hospital New record added 7/17/2021
      • Hospital where Evelyn goes to guilt Charlie and Alan. (Season 2 episode Those Big Pink Things with Coconut)
  • Magazines-Adult
    • Monster Boobs New record added 8/4/2021
      • Charlie Harper: Well that attitude is why you sleep alone with a copy of Monster Boobs magazine under your pillow.
        Alan Harper: Stay out of my room
        (Season 3 episode That Voodoo that I Do Do)
  • Magazines-Other
    • Journal of the American Chiropractic Association New record added 7/30/2021
      • Alan mentions that he had an article published in which he coined the phrase Massive Mammory Syndrome for women with large breasts in the Journal of the American Chiropractic Association. (Season 3 episode Principal Gallagher’s Lesbian Lover)
  • Makeup and Perfume
    • Epiphany For Men New record added 8/4/2021
      • Charlie Harper: You know what that smell is? Epiphany for men. (Season 3 episode Something Salted and Twisted)
  • Menu Items
    • Cajun Cluckies New record added 7/30/2021
      • Menu item at Clucky’s, fast food chicken place where Charlie takes Jake. (Season 3 episode Weekend in Bangkok with Two Olympic Gymnasts)
    • Regular Cluckies New record added 7/30/2021
      • Menu item at Clucky’s, fast food chicken place where Charlie takes Jake. (Season 3 episode Weekend in Bangkok with Two Olympic Gymnasts)
  • Menu Items-Drinks
    • Double-D Cup Latte New record added 7/15/2021
      • Alan Harper: Hey, what's that splattered all over your shirt?
        Charlie Harper: Coffee and breast milk.
        Alan Harper: What happened? Did Starbucks merge with Hooters? Hooterbucks - I'd like a Double-D cup Latte, please.
        (Season 2 episode Yes, Monsignor)
    • Venti Nonfat Crap-puccino with Extra Foam New record added 7/30/2021
      • Joke Charlie makes about Alan's ex-girlfriend. (Season 3 episode Weekend in Bangkok with Two Olympic Gymnasts)
  • Movies
    • Deadly Riders New record added 8/4/2021
      • Movie Charlie and Alan go see. (Season 3 episode That Special Tug)
  • Movies-Parody
    • Pirates of the Blow It Out Your Ass New record added 8/4/2021
      • Joke Alan makes while taking the movie quiz at the movie theater. Actually Pirates of the Caribbean. (Season 3 episode That Special Tug)
    • War of the Blow It Out Your Ass New record added 8/4/2021
      • Joke Alan makes while taking the movie quiz at the movie theater. Actually War of the Worlds. (Season 3 episode That Special Tug)
    • War of the Couch New record added 8/4/2021
      • Joke Alan makes while taking the movie quiz at the movie theater. (Season 3 episode That Special Tug)
    • The Wizard of Blow It Out Your Ass New record added 8/4/2021
      • Joke Alan makes while taking the movie quiz at the movie theater. Actually The Wizard of Oz. (Season 3 episode That Special Tug)
  • Newspapers
    • Tarzana PennySaver New record added 8/4/2021
      • Tarzana PennySaver: ALAN HARPER: Good Doctor, Good Neighbor, Good Guy. (Season 3 episode Something Salted and Twisted)
  • Quotes
    • Alan Harper New record added 7/19/2021
      • Alan Harper: Let's get you back to the Bat Cave, or whatever cave you crawled out of. (Season 2 episode That Old Hosebag is My Mother)
      • Alan Harper: The Price of Healthy Gums is Eternal Vigilance. (Season 2 episode The Price of Healthy Gums is Eternal Vigilance)
      • Alan Harper: I'm a love bear. If I stop making love, I prevent forest fires. (Season 2 episode Frankenstein and the Horny Villagers)
      • Alan Harper: I tend to bring out the mothering instinct in women. Ironically, not my mother. (Season 2 episode A Low, Guttural Tongue-Flapping Noise)
    • Alan Harper & Charlie Harper New record added 7/15/2021
      • Alan Harper: Hey, what's that splattered all over your shirt?
        Charlie Harper: Coffee and breast milk.
        Alan Harper: What happened? Did Starbucks merge with Hooters? Hooterbucks - I'd like a Double-D cup Latte, please.
        (Season 2 episode Yes, Monsignor)
    • Berta New record added 7/30/2021
      • Berta: As long as we're discussing dining choices, why don't you bite me? (Season 3 episode Your Dismissive Attitude Toward Boobs)
    • Charlie Harper New record added 7/16/2021
      • Charlie Harper: To the Batcave, Alfred. (Season 2 episode Zejdź z Moich Włosów a.k.a. Get Off My Hair)
      • Charlie Harper: Whoa, slow down. Well, how drunk is she? Really? Batman drunk? (Season 2 episode That Old Hosebag is My Mother)
      • Charlie Harper: I guess your hearing is more acute when your nuts are on the line. (Season 3 episode Sleep Tight, Puddin' Pop)
      • Charlie Harper: You know what that smell is? Epiphany for men. (Season 3 episode Something Salted and Twisted)
      • Charlie Harper: People who live in fat asses shouldn't throw waffles. (Season 3 episode Santa's Village of the Damned)
      • Charlie Harper: I didn't need a reason to drink tonight, but it's nice to know I've got one. (Season 2 episode The Price of Healthy Gums is Eternal Vigilance)
      • Charlie Harper: Oh, smells like one of us just crapped our pants, I sure hope it's you. (Season 2 episode Yes, Monsignor)
    • Charlie Harper & Alan Harper New record added 8/4/2021
      • Charlie Harper: Well that attitude is why you sleep alone with a copy of Monster Boobs magazine under your pillow.
        Alan Harper: Stay out of my room
        (Season 3 episode That Voodoo that I Do Do)
    • Charlie Harper & Jake Harper New record added 8/4/2021
      • Charlie Harper: Want me to tuck you in?
        Jake Harper: I’m too old to get tucked in, you... ass-face!
        (Season 3 episode That Voodoo that I Do Do)
      • Charlie Harper: This conversation is over.
        Jake Harper: Not if I keep talking.
        (Season 3 episode Weekend in Bangkok with Two Olympic Gymnasts)
    • Charlie Harper & Mia New record added 8/4/2021
      • Charlie Harper: Hey, you’re a teacher.
        Mia: Hey, you’re a stalker.
        (Season 3 episode That Voodoo that I Do Do)
    • Ms. Seabury New record added 8/4/2021
      • Ms. Seabury [immediately after sex with Alan, before she dies]: I want my watch back (Season 3 episode Madame and her Special Friend)
  • Realty Services
    • Westside Realtors Association New record added 7/14/2021
      • Evelyn asks the boys to have party for when she receives her golden blazer from the Westside Realtors Association. (Season 2 episode A Kosher slaughterhouse out in Fontana)
  • Recipes
    • Fudge Covered Ham New record added 8/4/2021
      • Idea Charlie and Alan come up after eating fudge and honey baked ham. (Season 3 episode Santa's Village of the Damned)
    • Honey Baked Fudge New record added 8/4/2021
      • Idea Charlie and Alan come up after eating fudge and honey baked ham. (Season 3 episode Santa's Village of the Damned)
    • Ninja Death Toast New record added 7/19/2021
      • Dangerous breakfast item that Charlie throws at Alan, injuring his eye. (Season 2 episode A Low, Guttural Tongue-Flapping Noise)
  • Restaurants-Other
    • Antonio's New record added 7/14/2021
      • Charlie suggests Antonio's for dinner, but his date Sherri picks The Oak Room instead. (Season 2 episode Bad News from the Clinic?)
    • The Oak Room New record added 7/14/2021
      • Charlie suggests Antonio's for dinner, but his date Sherri picks The Oak Room instead. (Season 2 episode Bad News from the Clinic?)
  • Schools-Performing Arts
    • Waverly Dance Studio New record added 8/4/2021
      • Dance studio on Waverly Street that Charlie researches looking for Mia. (Season 3 episode That Voodoo that I Do Do)
    • Westwood Academy of Dance New record added 8/4/2021
      • Dance studio on Pico Blvd that Charlie researches looking for Mia. (Season 3 episode That Voodoo that I Do Do)
  • Songs
    • Who Moved the Reindeer? New record added 8/4/2021
      • Joke song Charlie sings when Alan's new nester girlfriend gets up set over someone moving her reindeer Christmas decorations. (Season 3 episode Santa's Village of the Damned)
  • Sporting Goods Stores
    • Daisy's Fishing Tackle and Live Bait New record added 7/14/2021
      • Berta recommends her baby sister to cater the party for Evelyn when she gets her golden blazer from the Westside Realtors Association. She also has a fishing tackle business. (Season 2 episode A Kosher slaughterhouse out in Fontana)
  • Theater Productions
    • The Amazing Adventures of Stretch Armstrong New record added 7/15/2021
      • Charlie's penis puppet show. (Season 2 episode Yes, Monsignor)
    • Nude Legends On Ice New record added 7/17/2021
      • Show Charlie asks about. (Season 2 episode Smell the Umbrella Stand)
  • Thoroughfares-Avenues
    • Woodward Avenue New record added 7/19/2021
      • Address of Jake’s school. (Season 2 episode Can You Eat Human Flesh With Human Teeth?)
  • Thoroughfares-Other
    • Stone Canyon New record added 7/19/2021
      • Realtor Evelyn mentions a 4 bedroom Tudor on Stone Canyon. (Season 2 episode A Sympathetic Crotch to Cry On)
  • Trivia
    • According to the frequently asked questions on CharlieHarperSucks.com, How long can you expect to date Charlie after you have sex with him? (Season 2 episode Last Chance to See Those Tattoos) New record added 7/15/2021
      • What name does Charlie use to post a message on CharlieHarperSucks.com? (Season 2 episode Last Chance to See Those Tattoos) New record added 7/15/2021
      • Trivia-Names
        • Neighbor Ms. Seabury's dog's name. (Season 3 episode Madame and her Special Friend) New record added 8/4/2021
          • Rose's father's name. (Season 3 episode Sleep Tight, Puddin' Pop) New record added 8/1/2021
            • What did Evelyn call Charlie’s penis when he was a baby? (Season 3 episode We Called it Mr. Pinky) New record added 8/1/2021
              • What does Evelyn say the cat’s name when Charlie was a baby? (Season 3 episode We Called it Mr. Pinky) New record added 8/1/2021
              • Websites
                • CharlieHarperSucks.com New record added 7/15/2021
                  • Charlie learns that a disgruntled ex-lover has created a website about him. Spoiler - it was Rose, and she takes it down after he apologizes to her. (Season 2 episode Last Chance to See Those Tattoos)

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