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 Exact order 
TWO AND A HALF MEN 2003 TV Series
  • Charlie Harper: Hey, you’re a teacher.
    Mia: Hey, you’re a stalker.
    (Season 3 episode That Voodoo that I Do Do)

Records added in the last month
65
  • Audio Recordings
    • Charlie Waffles Greatest Hits New record added 9/17/2021
      • Charlie becomes “Charlie Waffles”, The king of kids songs, to make money and hook up with hot single mothers and nannies, released a greatest hits CD featuring a scratch n sniff poster that smells like maple syrup, performing live in concert and releasing a concert video. (Season 5 episode Is there a Mrs. Waffles?)
  • Bars and Night Clubs
    • Sand Dollar New record added 9/29/2021
      • Herb invites Charlie out to the Sand Dollar bar, featuring All you can eat popcorn shrimp. (Season 6 episode Best H.O. Money Can Buy)
  • Beverages-Alcohol
    • Bourbon Whiskey New record added 10/2/2021
      • When Alan starts drinking more, Charlie complains about him drinking his good stuff, so he makes Alan switch over to the generic brand, which Charlie calls Old Walmart. (Season 6 episode I Think You Offended Don)
  • Books-Instructional
    • Breaking Barriers: Finding the Intimacy You Deserve New record added 9/18/2021
      • Book by Charlie’s new mom figure older girlfriend. (Season 5 episode If My Hole Could Talk)
    • Cooking For Dummies New record added 9/29/2021
      • Charlie teaches himself to cook. (Season 6 episode Damn You, Eggs Benedict)
    • Embracing Your Soulmate New record added 9/18/2021
      • Self help book Charlie finds in bookstore. Soulmate, not cellmate. (Season 5 episode If My Hole Could Talk)
    • Smart Women, Foolish Choices New record added 9/18/2021
      • Self help book Charlie finds in bookstore. (Season 5 episode If My Hole Could Talk)
  • Books-Other
    • Because It Amuses Me New record added 9/29/2021
      • Alan and Charlie make several jokes about fake books after Alan claims to have joined a book club and Charlie asks what book he’s reading. Alan says it’s a mystery called Why Are You Doing This to Me? Charlie responds by asking, isn’t that by the same guy who wrote Because it Amuses Me? (Season 6 episode Best H.O. Money Can Buy)
    • Bite Me New record added 9/18/2021
      • Joke Alan makes - the title of his book. Chapter 1: Bite me. Chapter 2: Kiss my pale white ass.
    • Under the Dining Room Table New record added 9/29/2021
      • Charlie jokes about a fake book called Under the Dining Room Table by Richard Gobbler in front of Herb, referencing Judith blowing him at dinner. (Season 6 episode Best H.O. Money Can Buy)
    • Wait Til Your Liver Fails New record added 9/29/2021
      • Alan jokes about a fake book to Charlie called Wait til Your Liver Fails by Hope Udai. (Season 6 episode Best H.O. Money Can Buy)
    • Why Are You Doing This to Me? New record added 9/29/2021
      • Alan and Charlie make several jokes about fake books after Alan claims to have joined a book club and Charlie asks what book he’s reading. Alan says it’s a mystery called Why Are You Doing This to Me? Charlie responds by asking, isn’t that by the same guy who wrote Because it Amuses Me? (Season 6 episode Best H.O. Money Can Buy)
  • Car Dealerships
    • Beverly Hills German Motors New record added 10/1/2021
      • Alan takes Charlie’s car in for service, meets a woman who thinks Charlie's car is his car, takes her back to his mother's house pretending it's his house, where she convinces him to put on a red chiffon dress, at which point she steals his clothes and Charlie's car. (Season 6 episode The Mooch at the Boo)
  • Cities and Towns - Joke
    • Hump Junction New record added 9/18/2021
      • Berta joke - she asks Charlie, “Rough night in Hump Junction?” (Season 5 episode Rough Night in Hump Junction?)
  • Conditions and Diseases
    • Bangkok Drippy Drip New record added 9/17/2021
      • Joke Evelyn makes about Charlie being sick. (Season 5 episode A Little Clammy and None Too Fresh)
  • Counselors, Psychiatrists and Therapists
    • Dr. Zimmerman New record added 9/28/2021
      • Psychiatrist that Bull brings to deliver Christine’s baby. (Season 7 episode The Blues of the Birth)
  • Doctors
    • Dr. Herbert Melnick New record added 9/29/2021
      • Judith’s new husband. Pediatrician.
    • Dr. Yakimura New record added 10/5/2021
      • Doctor that calls Evelyn with a hot tip for a suicide house for her to sell. (Season 6 episode Hello, I am Alan Cousteau)
  • Drugstores
    • Russell’s Drugs & Sundries New record added 9/29/2021
      • Charlie asks Russell about the effectiveness of condoms. (Season 6 episode Taterhead is our Love Child)
      • Charlie runs errand for Chelsea when she’s sick.(Season 6 episode My Son’s Enormous Head)
  • Ice Cream and Yogurt Shops
    • Ice Cream New record added 9/29/2021
      • Generic ice cream truck Jake chases after instead doing his sign flipping job. (Season 6 episode Pie Hole, Herb)
  • Islands
    • Alcohol Island New record added 10/3/2021
      • Alan Harper: Fitful nights sleep in alcohol island? (Season 6 episode The Ocu or the Pado?)
  • Magazines-Other
    • Ferret Fancy New record added 9/17/2021
      • Magazine Rose reads. (Season 5 episode A Little Clammy and None Too Fresh)
  • Makeup and Perfume
    • Chocolate New record added 9/18/2021
      • Cologne that Mr. Peterson is wearing, to hide the smell of Bob’s group’s surprise anniversary cake. (Season 4 episode 3 Death of a Fruitman)
  • Menu Items-Drinks
    • The Drunken Hulk New record added 9/17/2021
      • Drink Charlie comes up with - nighttime cold medicine and scotch. (Season 5 episode A Little Clammy and None Too Fresh)
    • Tall Pain in the Ass New record added 9/29/2021
      • Joke Charlie makes about Herb, ordering a mixed drink called a Tall Pain in the Ass from the bar. (Season 6 episode It’s Always Nazi Week)
  • Movies
    • Car-nimal New record added 10/5/2021
      • Jake’s idea for a screenplay. A man becomes a half-car, half-animal. (Season 6 episode Baseball Was Better with Steroids)
    • La Poubelle Et Le Fromage New record added 10/5/2021
      • Charlie and Chelsea take Alan with them to see La Poubelle et le Fromage at the Nuart. Translation: The Trash and Cheese. (Season 6 episode Good Morning, Mrs. Butterworth)
    • Wings of Love New record added 9/18/2021
      • Romance movie that Alan recommends to Charlie and his girlfriend.
  • Movies-Documentary
    • Charlie Waffles Live in Concert New record added 9/17/2021
      • Charlie becomes “Charlie Waffles”, The king of kids songs, to make money and hook up with hot single mothers and nannies, released a greatest hits CD featuring a scratch n sniff poster that smells like maple syrup, performing live in concert and releasing a concert video. (Season 5 episode Is there a Mrs. Waffles?)
  • Musicians
    • Charlie Waffles New record added 9/17/2021
      • Charlie becomes “Charlie Waffles”, The king of kids songs, to make money and hook up with hot single mothers and nannies, released a greatest hits CD featuring a scratch n sniff poster that smells like maple syrup, performing live in concert and releasing a concert video. (Season 5 episode Is there a Mrs. Waffles?)
    • Dudes of Rockage New record added 9/18/2021
      • Jake is in band. (Season 5 episode Winky-Dink Time)
    • MC Perfunctory New record added 10/5/2021
      • Jake comes up with a new rap name for himself. (Season 6 episode Baseball Was Better with Steroids)
  • Newspapers
    • Los Angeles Ledger New record added 9/17/2021
      • Newspaper Alan reads. (Season 5 episode A Little Clammy and None Too Fresh)
  • Operations
    • Operation Dork New record added 9/28/2021
      • Joke Dan makes when Christine thanks for the gang for their help with delivering her baby: Some help we were. Operation Dork. (Season 7 episode The Blues of the Birth)
  • Personal Care Products
    • Cank Be Gone New record added 10/3/2021
      • Charlie buys Cank Be Gone from Russel for Chelsea when she’s sick. (Season 6 episode My Son’s Enormous Head)
  • Pizza Parlors
    • Eddie G’s Pizzeria New record added 9/17/2021
      • Charlie takes Jake out for pizza and gets mace sprayed in his eyes when he tries to get a mother to let her daughter talk to Jake. (Season 5 episode Meander to Your Dander)
  • Poetry
    • Untitled Poem New record added 9/18/2021
      • Title of the poem that Bob’s group writes for him together for their anniversary. (Season 4 episode 3 Death of a Fruitman)
  • Quotes
    • Alan Harper New record added 10/3/2021
      • Alan Harper: Fitful nights sleep in alcohol island? (Season 6 episode The Ocu or the Pado?)
    • Alan Harper & James Earl Jones New record added 10/2/2021
      • Alan Harper: Listen, would you mind recording my answering machine message for me?
        James Earl Jones: That’ll be an extra $500.
        Alan Harper: That’s okay, I’m rich now.
        James Earl Jones: All right, what do you want, uh, This is CNN, or, Luke, I’m your father?
        (Season 6 episode The Devil’s Lube)
    • Artie Pliskin New record added 9/17/2021
      • Artie Pliskin: The Wiggles can kiss my pasty white tushie! (Season 5 episode Is there a Mrs. Waffles?)
    • Charlie Harper & Alan Harper New record added 9/17/2021
      • Charlie Harper: Hey Alan, guess what?
        Alan Harper: There is no god?
        Charlie Harper: Oh on the contrary, there is a god, and he love me long time!
        (Season 5 episode Is there a Mrs. Waffles?)
    • Dan Fielding New record added 9/28/2021
      • Dan Fielding: Some help we were. Operation Dork. (Season 7 episode The Blues of the Birth)
  • Record Companies
    • Fluff Bunny Records New record added 9/17/2021
      • Record company that signs Charlie as Charlie Waffles, his new moniker as the king of childrens songs, run by President and CEO Artie Pliskin. (Season 5 episode Is there a Mrs. Waffles?)
  • Restaurants-Other
    • Mon Grenier Du Vivre New record added 10/5/2021
      • Restaurant where Evelyn takes Chelsea for lunch. (Season 6 episode Hello, I am Alan Cousteau)
  • Songs
    • The Booger Boogie New record added 9/17/2021
      • Song by Charlie Waffles, Charlie’s new moniker when he records childrens songs to make money and hook up with hot single moms and nannies. (Season 5 episode Is there a Mrs. Waffles?)
    • Bye Bye Boobies New record added 9/17/2021
      • Song by Charlie Waffles, Charlie’s new moniker when he records childrens songs to make money and hook up with hot single moms and nannies. (Season 5 episode Is there a Mrs. Waffles?)
    • The Cat Can’t Swim (Don’t Bite the Puppy) New record added 9/17/2021
      • Song by Charlie Waffles, Charlie’s new moniker when he records childrens songs to make money and hook up with hot single moms and nannies. (Season 5 episode Is there a Mrs. Waffles?)
    • Don’t Shake the Baby New record added 9/17/2021
      • Song by Charlie Waffles, Charlie’s new moniker when he records childrens songs to make money and hook up with hot single moms and nannies. (Season 5 episode Is there a Mrs. Waffles?)
    • Feed It to the Dog New record added 9/17/2021
      • Song by Charlie Waffles, Charlie’s new moniker when he records childrens songs to make money and hook up with hot single moms and nannies. (Season 5 episode Is there a Mrs. Waffles?)
    • From Diaper to Wiper New record added 9/17/2021
      • Song by Charlie Waffles, Charlie’s new moniker when he records childrens songs to make money and hook up with hot single moms and nannies. (Season 5 episode Is there a Mrs. Waffles?)
    • Grandma May Smell Funny New record added 9/17/2021
      • Song by Charlie Waffles, Charlie’s new moniker when he records childrens songs to make money and hook up with hot single moms and nannies. (Season 5 episode Is there a Mrs. Waffles?)
    • I Like Corn New record added 9/17/2021
      • Song by Charlie Waffles, Charlie’s new moniker when he records childrens songs to make money and hook up with hot single moms and nannies. (Season 5 episode Is there a Mrs. Waffles?)
    • I Love Boobies New record added 9/17/2021
      • Song by Charlie Waffles, Charlie’s new moniker when he records childrens songs to make money and hook up with hot single moms and nannies. (Season 5 episode Is there a Mrs. Waffles?)
    • Kiss My Owie New record added 9/17/2021
      • Song by Charlie Waffles, Charlie’s new moniker when he records childrens songs to make money and hook up with hot single moms and nannies. (Season 5 episode Is there a Mrs. Waffles?)
    • Mommy’s Little Happy Pill New record added 9/17/2021
      • Song by Charlie Waffles, Charlie’s new moniker when he records childrens songs to make money and hook up with hot single moms and nannies. (Season 5 episode Is there a Mrs. Waffles?)
    • The Peepee Song New record added 9/17/2021
      • Song by Charlie Waffles, Charlie’s new moniker when he records childrens songs to make money and hook up with hot single moms and nannies. (Season 5 episode Is there a Mrs. Waffles?)
    • Potty Time New record added 9/17/2021
      • Song by Charlie Waffles, Charlie’s new moniker when he records childrens songs to make money and hook up with hot single moms and nannies. (Season 5 episode Is there a Mrs. Waffles?)
    • Rush to Flush New record added 9/17/2021
      • Song by Charlie Waffles, Charlie’s new moniker when he records childrens songs to make money and hook up with hot single moms and nannies. (Season 5 episode Is there a Mrs. Waffles?)
    • Sippy Cup New record added 9/17/2021
      • Song by Charlie Waffles, Charlie’s new moniker when he records childrens songs to make money and hook up with hot single moms and nannies. (Season 5 episode Is there a Mrs. Waffles?)
    • Weekend Daddy New record added 9/17/2021
      • Song by Charlie Waffles, Charlie’s new moniker when he records childrens songs to make money and hook up with hot single moms and nannies. (Season 5 episode Is there a Mrs. Waffles?)
    • Wet Sheets in the Morning New record added 9/17/2021
      • Song by Charlie Waffles, Charlie’s new moniker when he records childrens songs to make money and hook up with hot single moms and nannies. (Season 5 episode Is there a Mrs. Waffles?)
    • When Mommy and Daddy Wrestle New record added 9/17/2021
      • Song by Charlie Waffles, Charlie’s new moniker when he records childrens songs to make money and hook up with hot single moms and nannies. (Season 5 episode Is there a Mrs. Waffles?)
    • Who Barfed in the Fishbowl? New record added 9/17/2021
      • Song by Charlie Waffles, Charlie’s new moniker when he records childrens songs to make money and hook up with hot single moms and nannies. (Season 5 episode Is there a Mrs. Waffles?)
    • Who Cut the Cheese? New record added 9/17/2021
      • Song by Charlie Waffles, Charlie’s new moniker when he records childrens songs to make money and hook up with hot single moms and nannies. (Season 5 episode Is there a Mrs. Waffles?)
  • Strip Clubs
    • Les Girls Girls Girls New record added 9/17/2021
      • Strip club that Jake mentions. (Season 5 episode A Little Clammy and None Too Fresh)

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