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TWO AND A HALF MEN
2003 TV Series


Real dates. Fictional events.
13

Fictional business and products... and more
341

  • Airlines
    • Western Skies Airlines
      • Alan races to find Lyndsey before she leaves town. (Season 12 episode Boompa Loved his Hookers)
  • Alcohol
    • Bourbon Whiskey
      • When Alan starts drinking more, Charlie complains about him drinking his good stuff, so he makes Alan switch over to the generic brand, which Charlie calls Old Walmart. (Season 6 episode I Think You Offended Don)
    • Vodka
      • When Charlie runs out of money, he's forced to buy generic products in bulk, including Toilet Paper, Cheese, Vodka and Orange Drink Mix - which he uses to make a screwdriver for Evelyn. (Season 1 episode I Can't Afford Hyenas)
  • Amusement Parks
    • Six Flags Over Crazy Ass Chick Land
      • Joke Charlie makes about Alan's new nester girlfriend that decorates the house for Christmas. (Season 3 episode Santa's Village of the Damned)
  • Animals/Creatures
    • Alan Birds
      • Joke Walden makes. (Season 11 episode Three Fingers of Crème de Menthe)
  • Apartment and Condos
    • Valley Hacienda
      • Apartment complex where Alan plans to move. (Season 3 episode Your Dismissive Attitude Toward Boobs)
  • Appliances and Housewares
    • See Through Toaster
      • Alan breaks Walden's See Through Toaster and replaces it with a cheaper Toast Blaster Deluxe. (Season 10 episode From Pemberton)
    • Toast Blaster Deluxe
      • Alan breaks Walden's See Through Toaster and replaces it with a cheaper Toast Blaster Deluxe. (Season 10 episode From Pemberton)
  • Architecture and Interior Design
    • Evelyn Harper, Interior Design
      • Evelyn offers Walden her services. (Season 9 episode Those Fancy Japanese Toilets)
  • Audio Recordings
    • Charlie Waffles Greatest Hits
      • Charlie becomes "Charlie Waffles”, The king of kids songs, to make money and hook up with hot single mothers and nannies, released a greatest hits CD featuring a scratch n sniff poster that smells like maple syrup, performing live in concert and releasing a concert video. (Season 5 episode Is there a Mrs. Waffles?)
  • Automotive Services
    • Dude Where's My Car
      • Business Walden uses to find his first car. (Season 11 episode Dial 1-900-Mix-A-Lot)
  • Awards
    • Chiropractor of the Year
      • Award given by the San Fernando Valley Chiropractic Association that Alan claims to have received. (Pilot episode)
      • Alan mentions an award he won that will come up if you Google him. (Season 2 episode Last Chance to See Those Tattoos)
      • Alan brags about his award to impress an old friend from high school. (Season 2 episode A Lungful of Alan)
      • Alan brags about his award to Charlie's ex-girlfriend Sherri. (Season 2 episode A Low, Guttural Tongue-Flapping Noise)
    • Palmolive Cup
      • Charlie invents the indoor sport sockball to keep Jake occupied while Alan goes shopping, awarding him the "Palmolive Cup” award when Alan returns. (Season 2 episode Big Flappy Bastards)
    • Southern California Trial Lawyers Association Judge of the Year
      • Charlie's new appropriately aged judge girlfriend is recognized as Judge of the Year by the Southern California Trial Lawyers Association. Charlie ruins the ceremony after taking an unknown drug from Evelyn. (Season 4 episode Help Daddy Find his Toenail)
  • Bakeries
    • Ten Cent Bakery
      • Bakery in the background during musical scene. (Season 10 episode Grab a Feather and Get in Line)
    • Trunkin' Donuts
      • Business idea that Charlie comes up with while commuting to work with Alan - selling donuts from the trunk of his car. He also considers calling it Gridnuts, Trunk Crullers and Stop 'n' Go Nuts. (Season 3 episode Principal Gallagher's Lesbian Lover)
  • Bars and Night Clubs
    • The Courthouse
      • When Walden suggests the courthouse for the wedding, Alan jokes he hopes The Courthouse is a chic bar in Ibiza. (Season 12 episode A Chic Bar in Ibiza)
    • The Log Cabin
      • Before coming out, Chelsea's father mentions a gay bar called the Log Cabin, back home on Forrester Street, right next to the A&W. (Season 7 Yay, No Polyps)
    • Pavlov's
      • Charlie takes Alan out for a drink. (Season 1 episode Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell)
      • It's Ladies' Night at Pavlov's. (Season 2 episode Last Chance to See Those Tattoos)
      • Sunday is tequila night at Pavlov's. Every time the bell rings, you've got to take a shot. Don't forget to bark first. (Season 1 episode Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell)
      • Charlie goes to Pavlov's to meet somebody, but is too depressed to score. (Season 4 episode Arguments for the Quickie)
    • Sand Dollar
      • Herb invites Charlie out to the Sand Dollar bar, featuring All you can eat popcorn shrimp. (Season 6 episode Best H.O. Money Can Buy)
  • Baseball Teams
    • Braves
      • Walden's future son's T-ball team. (Season 12 episode The Ol' Mexican Spinach)
    • Pavlov's Dogs
      • Charlie plays softball for the Pavlov's Dogs as part of the Musicians Softball League. (Season 1 episode Did You Check with the Captain of the Flying Monkeys?)
    • Pretty Pink Ponies
      • Walden's future girl's T-ball team. (Season 12 episode The Ol' Mexican Spinach)
  • Beer
    • Hammerstein Beer
      • Charlie wrote the jingle for Hammerstein Beer.
      • Charlie incorporates his jingle into Jake's class recital. "The girls look prettier with Hammerstein Beer" (Season 1 episode Twenty-five Little Pre-pubers without a Snootful)
      • Walden sings several of Charlie's old jingles. (Season 9 episode Thank You for the Intercourse)
    • Heisler Beer
      • Fake beer product created by Independent Studio Services.
    • Old Paint Beer
      • Berta's date brings beer. (Season 9 episode Nine Magic Fingers)
  • Books-Biography
    • Man-Whore
      • Berta's planned Charlie memoir. (Season 9 episode Those Fancy Japanese Toilets)
    • My Mom and I Slept with the Same Dude
      • Joke Charlie makes about the title of his autobiography when his ex-girlfriend Jill returns as a man named Bill. (Season 1 episode An Old Flame with a New Wick)
    • Songs, Thongs, Bongs and Schlongs
      • Alan's suggestion for Charlie's biography. (Season 9 episode Thank You for the Intercourse)
  • Books-Children
    • Throgwarten Middle School Mysteries
      • Childrens book series. Walden meets the author at a rich singles mixer organized by Emily's Elite and Discreet Introductions. (Season 10 episode Throgwarten Middle School Mysteries)
  • Books-Fiction
    • Alan Harper Vampire Hunter
      • Novel Alan mentions writing. (Season 12 episode Boompa Loved his Hookers)
  • Books-Instructional
    • A Blueprint for Love
      • Relationship workbook Alan and Charlie use. (Season 7 episode For the Sake of the Child)
    • Breaking Barriers: Finding the Intimacy You Deserve
      • Book by Charlie's new mom figure older girlfriend. (Season 5 episode If My Hole Could Talk)
    • Cooking for Dummies
      • Charlie teaches himself to cook. (Season 6 episode Damn You, Eggs Benedict)
    • Embracing Your Soulmate
      • Self help book Charlie finds in bookstore. Soulmate, not cellmate. (Season 5 episode If My Hole Could Talk)
    • How to Hypnotize Women and Make Them Your Slaves
      • Alan's book that Walden returns to him at Evelyn's house. (Season 9 episode People Who Love Peepholes)
    • Smart Women, Foolish Choices
      • Self help book Charlie finds in bookstore. (Season 5 episode If My Hole Could Talk)
    • Ten Minutes a Day to Incredible Wealth
      • Alan's book that Walden returns to him at Evelyn's house. (Season 9 episode People Who Love Peepholes)
  • Books-Other
    • Because It Amuses Me
      • Alan and Charlie make several jokes about fake books after Alan claims to have joined a book club and Charlie asks what book he's reading. Alan says it's a mystery called Why Are You Doing This to Me? Charlie responds by asking, isn't that by the same guy who wrote Because it Amuses Me? (Season 6 episode Best H.O. Money Can Buy)
    • Bite Me
      • Joke Alan makes - the title of his book. Chapter 1: Bite me. Chapter 2: Kiss my pale white ass.
    • The Day Jake's Uncle Kicked His Ass
      • Joke Charlie makes. (Season 7 episode Laxative Tester, Horse Inseminator)
    • Under the Dining Room Table
      • Charlie jokes about a fake book called Under the Dining Room Table by Richard Gobbler in front of Herb, referencing Judith blowing him at dinner. (Season 6 episode Best H.O. Money Can Buy)
    • Wait Til Your Liver Fails
      • Alan jokes about a fake book to Charlie called Wait til Your Liver Fails by Hope Udai. (Season 6 episode Best H.O. Money Can Buy)
    • Why are You Doing This to Me?
      • Alan and Charlie make several jokes about fake books after Alan claims to have joined a book club and Charlie asks what book he's reading. Alan says it's a mystery called Why Are You Doing This to Me? Charlie responds by asking, isn't that by the same guy who wrote Because it Amuses Me? (Season 6 episode Best H.O. Money Can Buy)
  • Breakfast Cereal
    • Chocolate Tidlers
      • Start your day with a big hoo-ray! Chocolate Tidlers, Chocolate Tidlers, Bowl of fun for Everyone. Chocolate Tidlers, Chocolate Tidlers, Yum!
    • Cinnamon Crunch
      • Breakfast cereal on the kitchen table when Walden passes out after playing with Zoey's daughter. (Season 9 episode Mr. Hose Says Yes)
    • Crisp Berry Crunch
      • Breakfast cereal Jake eats. (Season 9 episode Oh Look, Al Qaeda!)
    • Fun 'N Fruity
      • Jake makes breakfast with Dairy Barn milk, Fun 'N Fruity breakfast cereal and a blender. (Season 3 episode Ergo, the Booty Call)
    • Maple Loops
      • Charlie wrote the jingle for Pitter's Maple Loops. "It's Maple-icious” (Pilot episode)
      • Charlie plays piano while Jake's class sings the Maple Loops jingle. (Season 1 episode Twenty-five Little Pre-pubers without a Snootful)
      • Walden eats Maple Loops. (Season 9 episode What a Lovely Landing Strip)
      • Jake mentions eating a bowl of Maple Loops. (Season 4 episode Young People Have Phlegm Too)
      • Charlie and Alan argue over the nutritional value of Maple Loops breakfast cereal. (Season 1 episode Sara Like Puny Alan)
      • "It's got oats, And corns and wheat. It's the sweetest, breakfast treat. It's maple, maple, mayyyyyy--ple-licious!"
      • Walden sings several of Charlie's old jingles. (Season 9 episode Thank You for the Intercourse)
      • Jake eats Maple Loops for breakfast. (Season 1 episode My Doctor Has a Cow Puppet)
      • Jake sings the Maple Loops theme song for Charlie's friend Wendy. (Season 1 episode Phase One, Complete)
      • Jingle that Charlie wrote, which he mentions while trying to get into an exclusive club. (Season 4 episode Young People Have Phlegm Too)
      • Jake eats Maple Loops for breakfast. (Season 1 episode Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark)
    • Marshmallow Magic
      • Breakfast cereal on the kitchen table when Walden passes out after playing with Zoey's daughter. (Season 9 episode Mr. Hose Says Yes)
    • Peanut Butter Crackles
      • Jake's breakfast cereal. (Season 3 episode Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark)
    • Rocky O's
      • Jake eats Rocky O's breakfast cereal, made by Ransford. (Season 3 episode Humiliation is a Visual Medium)
    • Silly Circles
      • Breakfast cereal on the kitchen table when Walden passes out after playing with Zoey's daughter. (Season 9 episode Mr. Hose Says Yes)
  • Candy
    • Chocolate Diddlers
      • Charlie writes a new jingle. (Season 8 episode Chocolate Diddlers or My Puppy's Dead)
    • Granny's Big Fudge Nuggets
      • Charlie wrote the jingle for Fudge Nuggets.
      • Charlie plays piano while Jake's class sings the Fudge Nuggets jingle. (Season 1 episode Twenty-five Little Pre-pubers without a Snootful)
      • Walden sings several of Charlie's old jingles. (Season 9 episode Thank You for the Intercourse)
      • Charlie wrote the jingle for Granny's Big Fudge Nuggets. (Season 1 episode Sara Like Puny Alan)
      • Alan tells Herb that Charlie keeps his Fudge Nuggets in the trunk of his car to keep them away from Jake. (Season 6 episode I Think You Offended Don)
      • Jake runs into the bathroom to tell Jake he heard the Fudge Nuggets theme song. (Season 1 episode Phase One, Complete)
      • Jingle that Charlie wrote, which he mentions while trying to get into an exclusive club. (Season 4 episode Young People Have Phlegm Too)
      • Alan buys Charlie three bags of his favorite cookies to apologize for stealing his hot French girl. (Season 5 episode Kinda Like Necrophilia)
  • Catering Services
    • Daisy's Classy Catering
      • Berta recommends her baby sister to cater the party for Evelyn when she gets her golden blazer from the Westside Realtors Association. She also has a fishing tackle business. (Season 2 episode A Kosher slaughterhouse out in Fontana)
  • Charities
    • Danielle's Darlings
      • Alan's lawyer's charity, named after his ex-wife that died in a car accident. (Season 7 Crude and Uncalled For)
    • Lawyers Without Yachts
      • Joke Charlie makes about Alan's lawyer's charity. (Season 7 Crude and Uncalled For)
  • Cheese
    • Cheese
      • When Charlie runs out of money, he's forced to buy generic products in bulk, including Toilet Paper, Cheese, Vodka and Orange Drink Mix - which he uses to make a screwdriver for Evelyn. (Season 1 episode I Can't Afford Hyenas)
  • Cities and Towns
    • Pemberton
      • Town Herb mentions while playing with his trains. (Season 10 episode From Pemberton)
  • Cities and Towns - Joke
    • Booger Town
      • Charlie Harper: It's been fun, but I am officially resigning as the mayor of Booger Town. (Season 1 episode Twenty-five Little Pre-pubers without a Snootful)
    • Hump Junction
      • Berta joke - she asks Charlie, "Rough night in Hump Junction?” (Season 5 episode Rough Night in Hump Junction?)
    • Tone-Deaf, Texas
      • Evelyn Harper: So, I am zipping up my boots, and I am about to go onstage when this hausfrau from Tone-Deaf, Texas gets up, and starts singing my song. I think you can imagine how unhappy I was. (Season 1 episode Did You Check with the Captain of the Flying Monkeys?)
  • Cities and Towns - U.S.
    • Poorville
      • Joke Alan makes to Walden: How are things in Poorville? (Season 10 episode Give Santa a Tail-Hole)
  • Clothing and Accessories
    • Pola
      • Alan wears Pola shirts not Polo shirts, instead a guy playing Polo, there's a gardener riding a donkey. (Season 11 episode On Vodka, On Soda, On Blender, On Mixer!)
  • Clothing Stores
    • Carol's Boutique
      • Store in the background when Rose warns Walden about Larry's hitman. (Season 11 episode Mr. Walden, He Die. I Clean Room)
    • House of Douche
      • Joke Kate makes about fashion house Alan would open. (Season 10 episode Welcome to Alancrest)
    • The Vest Store
      • Comment Walden makes trying to get to know Berta, telling her he likes her vest, where did she get it, the Vest Store? (Season 10 episode From Pemberton)
  • Coffee
    • Double-D Cup Latte
      • Alan Harper: Hey, what's that splattered all over your shirt?
        Charlie Harper: Coffee and breast milk.
        Alan Harper: What happened? Did Starbucks merge with Hooters? Hooterbucks - I'd like a Double-D cup Latte, please.
        (Season 2 episode Yes, Monsignor)
    • Half Caff Zach Braff
      • When Walden offers to get her coffee, drunk Jenny orders Half Caff Zach Braff. (Season 11 episode On Vodka, On Soda, On Blender, On Mixer!)
    • Venti Nonfat Crap-puccino with Extra Foam
      • Joke Charlie makes about Alan's ex-girlfriend. (Season 3 episode Weekend in Bangkok with Two Olympic Gymnasts)
  • Coffee Shops
    • Cafe Adelaide
      • Alan and Walden get coffee after Walden comes clean with Kate. (Season 10 episode Grab a Feather and Get in Line)
    • Hooterbucks
      • Alan Harper: Hey, what's that splattered all over your shirt?
        Charlie Harper: Coffee and breast milk.
        Alan Harper: What happened? Did Starbucks merge with Hooters? Hooterbucks - I'd like a Double-D cup Latte, please.
        (Season 2 episode Yes, Monsignor)
  • Colleges
    • Malibu College
      • Beach volleyball team that Walden invites over to cheer Alan up. (Season 9 episode Giant Cat Holding a Churro)
    • Valley West Community College
      • College Alan mentions. (Season 12 episode Don't Give a Monkey a Gun)
  • Comic Books
    • Oshikuru: Demon Samurai
      • Comic book about a teenage boy in a futuristic society who's possessed by the tortured soul of a a feudal Japanese warrior condemned to walk to the earth fighting the evil he once embodied that's being turned into a cartoon and Charlie writes the theme song. (Season 2 episode The Salmon Under My Sweater)
  • Condiments
    • Frumunda Sauce
      • Charlie offers Jake chicken with "frumunda sauce" while eating Chinese take-out - sauce "fromunda" the toilet. (Season 1 episode Sara Like Puny Alan)
  • Conditions and Diseases
    • Bangkok Drippy Drip
      • Joke Evelyn makes about Charlie being sick. (Season 5 episode A Little Clammy and None Too Fresh)
    • Massive Mammory Syndrome
      • Alan mentions that he had an article published in which he coined the phrase Massive Mammory Syndrome for women with large breasts in the Journal of the American Chiropractic Association. (Season 3 episode Principal Gallagher's Lesbian Lover)
  • Corporations
    • Charlie Harper Sucks Ltd
      • Company in the Cayman Islands that owns the domain name CharlieHarperSucks.com. (Season 2 episode Last Chance to See Those Tattoos)
    • Walden Loves Zoey, Inc.
      • Walden originally named his company "Walden Loves Bridget Enterprises”, but after the divorce, he decides to change the name, briefly considering "Walden Loves Zoey, Inc.” before settling on "Walden Loves Alan Enterprises”. (Season 9 episode Slowly and in a Circular Fashion)
  • Counselors, Psychiatrists and Therapists
    • Dr. Bloom
      • Alan and his Judith's marriage counselor. Alan cancels their next appointment after moving out. (Pilot episode)
    • Dr. Demerest
      • Alan's child psychiatrist where Evelyn took him but not Charlie. (Season 1 episode Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark)
      • Alan's child psychiatrist after he was caught stealing silly putty. (Season 2 episode The Price of Healthy Gums is Eternal Vigilance)
    • Dr. Linda Freeman
      • Charlie's therapist. (Season 3 episode That Special Tug)
      • Walden visits his psychiatrist. (Season 11 episode Lotta Delis in Little Armenia)
      • Walden visits Charlie's old therapist. (Season 9 episode The Squat and the Hover)
    • Dr. Zimmerman
      • Psychiatrist that Bull brings to deliver Christine's baby. (Season 7 episode The Blues of the Birth)
  • Countries
    • Crap-o-Slovakia
      • Joke Walden makes about the presidential suite at the generic motel where Rose hides him from Larry's hitman. (Season 11 episode Mr. Walden, He Die. I Clean Room)
  • Dating, Escort and Sex Services
    • Bumper to Humper
      • Business idea that Charlie comes up with while commuting to work with Alan - selling sex during traffic jams. He also considers calling it Speed humps and Jiffy lube - but remembers that one's taken. (Season 3 episode Principal Gallagher's Lesbian Lover)
    • Emily's Elite and Discreet Introductions
      • Service Walden hires to meet a rich girl. (Season 10 episode Throgwarten Middle School Mysteries)
    • SuaveSingles.com
      • Alan gets into online dating. First SuaveSingles.com, then JDate - a Jewish dating site. (Season 7 Captain Terry's Spray-On Hair)
  • Doctors
    • Dr. Andrew Sperlock
      • Urologist. Charlie considers getting a vasectomy. (Season 1 episode Can You Feel My Finger?)
    • Dr. ASAP
      • Unintended joke Jake makes - Charlie told him if e experienced certain symptoms, see a doctor ASAP. So he asks Alan who this Dr. ASAP is. (Season 9 episode Thank You for the Intercourse)
    • Dr. Dave Ciambotti
      • Chiropractor Alan mentions. (Season 8 episode Three Hookers and a Philly Cheesesteak)
    • Dr. Gollygupta
      • Russell enlists the help of Dr. Gollygupta, of the Gollygupta Hypertension and Glaucoma Clinic in Sri Lanka to diagnose Charlie with glaucoma so he can get some weed. (Season 7 episode Gumby with a Pokey)
    • Dr. Herbert Melnick
      • Judith's new husband. Pediatrician.
    • Dr. Philip Gonzales
      • Charlie's alias he mentions to escort service while making plans to go to Las Vegas for Christmas. (Season 3 episode Santa's Village of the Damned)
    • Dr. Prajneep
      • Walden's emergency room doctor. (Season 12 episode The Ol' Mexican Spinach)
    • Dr. Schwartz
      • Charlie's old doctor in Beverly Hills. (Season 2 episode Woo-Hoo, a Hernia Exam!)
    • Dr. Talmadge
      • Charlie's new doctor in Beverly Hills. (Season 2 episode Woo-Hoo, a Hernia Exam!)
    • Dr. Yakimura
      • Doctor that calls Evelyn with a hot tip for a suicide house for her to sell. (Season 6 episode Hello, I am Alan Cousteau)
  • Drugs-Recreational
    • Springtime on a Stick
      • Russell's Codeine Popsicle. (Season 8 episode Springtime on a Stick)
  • Drugstores
    • Russell's Drugs & Sundries
      • Charlie asks Russell about the effectiveness of condoms. (Season 6 episode Taterhead is our Love Child)
      • Alan takes Walden to pick up some boner pills. (Season 10 episode Welcome to Alancrest)
      • Russell enlists the help of Dr. Gollygupta, of the Gollygupta Hypertension and Glaucoma Clinic in Sri Lanka to diagnose Charlie with glaucoma so he can get some weed. (Season 7 episode Gumby with a Pokey)
      • Charlie runs errand for Chelsea when she's sick. (Season 6 episode My Son's Enormous Head)
  • Electronics
    • Tran-Schmidter
      • Implanted brain chip Walden wanted to invent when he was in college. (Season 10 episode Throgwarten Middle School Mysteries)
  • Electronics Stores
    • Chesky's Electronic Mart
      • Walden's shopping bag. (Season 10 episode Another Night With Neil Diamond)
    • Radio Barn
      • Alan buys webcams to be able to see Jake every day when he's at his mother's. (Season 2 episode Last Chance to See Those Tattoos)
  • Elementary Schools
    • Bellwood Academy
      • Zoey's daughter's kindergarten. (Season 9 episode What a Lovely Landing Strip)
    • Mark Twain Elementary
      • Alan's elementary school. (Season 12 episode The Ol' Mexican Spinach)
    • Woodward Avenue Elementary School
      • Jake's school. (Season 2 episode Can You Eat Human Flesh With Human Teeth?)
      • The Harpers run into Jake's old teacher that Charlie dumped. (Season 6 episode Jock Strap in Hell)
  • Enterprises
    • Walden Loves Alan Enterprises
      • Walden originally named his company "Walden Loves Bridget Enterprises”, but after the divorce, he decides to change the name, briefly considering "Walden Loves Zoey, Inc.” before settling on "Walden Loves Alan Enterprises”. (Season 9 episode Slowly and in a Circular Fashion)
    • Walden Loves Bridget Enterprises
      • Walden originally named his company "Walden Loves Bridget Enterprises”, but after the divorce, he decides to change the name, briefly considering "Walden Loves Zoey, Inc.” before settling on "Walden Loves Alan Enterprises”. (Season 9 episode Slowly and in a Circular Fashion)
    • Walden Schmidt Enterprises
      • Walden's first company when he was in college. (Season 10 episode Throgwarten Middle School Mysteries)
  • Fast Food-Chicken
    • Clucky's
      • Fast food chicken place where Charlie takes Jake. (Season 3 episode Weekend in Bangkok with Two Olympic Gymnasts)
    • El Pollo Skin-o
      • Jake's idea for a new restaurant - steal the chicken skin from chicken places that discard the skin. "The chicken skin” in Spanish. He plans to launch the first location in Sacramento, then Muncie, Indiana - Home of Ball State University. Finally, Lake Titicaca. Not a ball joke, but still funny. (Season 7 episode Gumby with a Pokey)
  • Fast Food-Mexican
    • The Hole Enchilada
      • Berta picks up Mexican donuts. (Season 7 episode Gumby with a Pokey)
  • Fast Food-Other
    • Kabob Kingdom
      • Alan and Herb go out to eat at the food court. (Season 7 Fart Jokes, Pie and Celeste)
  • Food Companies
    • Alancrest
      • Alan wants to open a vineyard. (Season 10 episode Welcome to Alancrest)
    • Pittler's
      • Company that makes Maple Loops breakfast cereal, product that Charlie wrote a jingle for. (Pilot episode)
    • Ransford
      • Jake eats Rocky O's breakfast cereal, made by Ransford. (Season 3 episode Humiliation is a Visual Medium)
  • Fruits and Vegetables
    • Baco-Berries
      • Product that Walden and Jake discuss at grocery store. "Delicious dried cranberries infused with real bacon flavor” (Season 9 episode A Fishbowl Full of Glass Eyes)
  • Games
    • Mummy on a Chair
      • Rose and Jake play a game called Mummy on a Chair, where Jake is wrapped in sheets and she leads him around on a chair. (Season 1 episode Round One to the Hot Crazy Chick)
    • Sockball
      • Charlie invents the indoor sport sockball to keep Jake occupied while Alan goes shopping, awarding him the "Palmolive Cup” award when Alan returns. (Season 2 episode Big Flappy Bastards)
  • Hardware and Tools
    • Accu-Crack (caulking Gun)
      • Alan tells Walden about his the self-healing chiropractic device he invented called the Accu-Crack, which allows you to crack your own back. Problem is, there is already a caulking gun, reggae band and porn site with the same name. And he can't change the name. Because he already had 30,000 brochures printed. (Season 9 episode Slowly and in a Circular Fashion)
  • Healthcare-Other
    • Adjustments by the Sea
      • Alan's new chiropractic business that turns Alan into a pimp. (Season 11 episode Lotta Delis in Little Armenia)
    • Gollygupta Hypertension and Glaucoma Clinic
      • Russell enlists the help of Dr. Gollygupta, of the Gollygupta Hypertension and Glaucoma Clinic in Sri Lanka to diagnose Charlie with glaucoma so he can get some weed. (Season 7 episode Gumby with a Pokey)
  • Home Furnishing Products
    • Plumber in a Jar
      • Charlie wrote the jingle for Plumber in a Jar.
      • Charlie incorporates his jingle into Jake's class recital. (Season 1 episode Twenty-five Little Pre-pubers without a Snootful)
  • Hospitals
    • The Alan Harper Healing Center
      • When Alan tells Charlie that their very old neighbor Ms. Seabury has proposed a business arrangement in which he will get an alternative healing center with his name on it called The Alan Harper Healing Center in exchange for being her lover, Charlie suggests he call it The Alan Harper House of Crap instead. (Season 3 episode Madame and her Special Friend)
    • St. John's Hospital
      • Hospital where Evelyn goes to guilt Charlie and Alan. (Season 2 episode Those Big Pink Things with Coconut)
  • Ice Cream
    • Banana Brickle
      • Ice cream flavor that Alan orders at Moo Moo's Ice Cream. (Season 7 episode For the Sake of the Child)
    • Gay Berry
      • Joke Charlie makes when Alan orders Passion Fruit, Banana Brickle and Nutty Butter Buddy at Moo Moo's Ice Cream. (Season 7 episode For the Sake of the Child)
    • Nutty Butter Buddy
      • Ice cream flavor that Alan orders at Moo Moo's Ice Cream. (Season 7 episode For the Sake of the Child)
    • Passion Fruit
      • Ice cream flavor that Alan orders at Moo Moo's Ice Cream. (Season 7 episode For the Sake of the Child)
  • Ice Cream Parlors
    • Ice Cream
      • Generic ice cream truck Jake chases after instead doing his sign flipping job. (Season 6 episode Pie Hole, Herb)
    • Moo Moo's Ice Cream
      • Alan and Charlie take Jake to get ice cream after seeing a movie. (Season 7 episode For the Sake of the Child)
  • Institutes
    • Robin Schmidt Primate Research Center
      • Walden's mother's research center. (Season 9 episode Slowly and in a Circular Fashion)
  • Islands
    • Alcohol Island
      • Alan Harper: Fitful nights sleep in alcohol island? (Season 6 episode The Ocu or the Pado?)
  • Jewelry Stores
    • BJs
      • Jewelry store where Walden buys an engagement ring for Alan to give to Lyndsey. BJ = Bountiful Jewels. (Season 12 episode Don't Give a Monkey a Gun)
  • Juice
    • Goofy Juice
      • Juice Jake drinks. (Season 3 episode Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark)
    • Orange Drink Mix
      • When Charlie runs out of money, he's forced to buy generic products in bulk, including Toilet Paper, Cheese, Vodka and Orange Drink Mix - which he uses to make a screwdriver for Evelyn. (Season 1 episode I Can't Afford Hyenas)
    • Transylvania Goofy Juice
      • Jake's juice box that he keeps leaving on Charlie's piano. (Season 2 episode Big Flappy Bastards)
      • Jake offers 16 year old Prudence a juice box. (Season 1 episode Camel Filters + Pheromones)
  • Magazines-Adult
    • Monster Boobs
      • Charlie Harper: Well that attitude is why you sleep alone with a copy of Monster Boobs magazine under your pillow.
        Alan Harper: Stay out of my room
        (Season 3 episode That Voodoo that I Do Do)
  • Magazines-Other
    • Ferret Fancy
      • Magazine Rose reads. (Season 5 episode A Little Clammy and None Too Fresh)
    • Journal of the American Chiropractic Association
      • Alan mentions that he had an article published in which he coined the phrase Massive Mammory Syndrome for women with large breasts in the Journal of the American Chiropractic Association. (Season 3 episode Principal Gallagher's Lesbian Lover)
    • Ugly Bowl Illustrated
      • Joke Charlie makes when he doesn't like the bowl Alan brings home. (Season 4 episode The Leather Gear is in the Guest Room)
  • Makeup and Perfume
    • Chanel No. 666
      • Joke Charlie makes about Evelyn's scent when they go shopping for a birthday present for her. (Season 4 episode I Merely Slept With a Commie)
    • Chocolate
      • Cologne that Mr. Peterson is wearing, to hide the smell of Bob's group's surprise anniversary cake. (Season 4 episode 3 Death of a Fruitman)
    • Epiphany for Men
      • Charlie Harper: You know what that smell is? Epiphany for men. (Season 3 episode Something Salted and Twisted)
  • Manufacturing Companies
    • ACME Mannequins
      • Truck outside Rose's "wedding”. (Season 8 episode The Crazy Bitch Gazette)
  • Medical Devices
    • Accu-Crack (chiropractic Device)
      • Alan tells Walden about his the self-healing chiropractic device he invented called the Accu-Crack, which allows you to crack your own back. Problem is, there is already a caulking gun, reggae band and porn site with the same name. And he can't change the name. Because he already had 30,000 brochures printed. (Season 9 episode Slowly and in a Circular Fashion)
  • Medicine
    • Clodex
      • When Walden's model date Nadine falls off the balcony, he takes her to the emergency room. When completing paperwork, he asks her for her medications, which include Plaxitril for depression, Zaxaprin for anxiety, Dilapamin for insomnia and Clodex for occasional bouts of rage. (Season 11 episode Numero Uno Accidente Lawyer)
    • Dilapamin
      • When Walden's model date Nadine falls off the balcony, he takes her to the emergency room. When completing paperwork, he asks her for her medications, which include Plaxitril for depression, Zaxaprin for anxiety, Dilapamin for insomnia and Clodex for occasional bouts of rage. (Season 11 episode Numero Uno Accidente Lawyer)
    • Jealous-in
      • Alan joke. Use as directed. Side effects include tears, sleepless night, and possible rage masturbation. (Season 11 episode Baseball. Boobs. Boobs. Baseball.)
    • Lumitrol
      • Depression drug commercial that Alan and Jake watch, and Jake later recommends to Charlie. (Season 7 That's Why They Call It 'Ball Room')
    • Plaxitril
      • Walden and Herb hook up with a couple pharmaceutical reps, one of which sells a drug called Plaxitril, with pirate side effects. (Season 10 episode Big Episode. Someone Stole a Spoon.)
      • When Walden's model date Nadine falls off the balcony, he takes her to the emergency room. When completing paperwork, he asks her for her medications, which include Plaxitril for depression, Zaxaprin for anxiety, Dilapamin for insomnia and Clodex for occasional bouts of rage. (Season 11 episode Numero Uno Accidente Lawyer)
    • Zaxaprin
      • When Walden's model date Nadine falls off the balcony, he takes her to the emergency room. When completing paperwork, he asks her for her medications, which include Plaxitril for depression, Zaxaprin for anxiety, Dilapamin for insomnia and Clodex for occasional bouts of rage. (Season 11 episode Numero Uno Accidente Lawyer)
  • Menu Items
    • Cajun Cluckies
      • Menu item at Clucky's, fast food chicken place where Charlie takes Jake. (Season 3 episode Weekend in Bangkok with Two Olympic Gymnasts)
    • Fish Sickles
      • Jake and Eldridge brainstorm opening a restaurant with food on a stick. They come up with pizza on a stick, called "Pizza Sticks”, pie on a stick, called "Pie Sticks”, and fish on a stick, called "Fishsickles”. (Season 9 episode Oh Look, Al Qaeda!)
    • Medallions of Bean Curd with Lawnmower Sauce
      • Joke Charlie makes about his dinner at the new vegetarian restaurant he visits with Mia. (Season 3 episode My Tongue is Meat)
    • Pie Sticks
      • Jake and Eldridge brainstorm opening a restaurant with food on a stick. They come up with pizza on a stick, called "Pizza Sticks”, pie on a stick, called "Pie Sticks”, and fish on a stick, called "Fishsickles”. (Season 9 episode Oh Look, Al Qaeda!)
    • Pizza Sticks
      • Jake and Eldridge brainstorm opening a restaurant with food on a stick. They come up with pizza on a stick, called "Pizza Sticks”, pie on a stick, called "Pie Sticks”, and fish on a stick, called "Fishsickles”. (Season 9 episode Oh Look, Al Qaeda!)
    • Regular Cluckies
      • Menu item at Clucky's, fast food chicken place where Charlie takes Jake. (Season 3 episode Weekend in Bangkok with Two Olympic Gymnasts)
    • Squid Surprise
      • Seafood dish at Di Filipo's that makes Walden and Kate, and then Alan sick. (Season 11 episode West Side Story)
  • Milk
    • Dairy Barn
      • Milk brand. When Charlie takes Jake shopping, Jake insists on particular brand: That's Dairy Farm, We drink Dairy Barn. (Pilot episode)
      • Milk that Jake drinks with his Peanut Butter Crackles breakfast cereal. (Season 3 episode Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark)
      • Jake makes breakfast with Dairy Barn milk, Fun 'N Fruity breakfast cereal and a blender. (Season 3 episode Ergo, the Booty Call)
    • Dairy Farm
      • Milk brand. When Charlie takes Jake shopping, Jake insists on particular brand: That's Dairy Farm, We drink Dairy Barn. (Pilot episode)
  • Mixed Drinks
    • The Drunken Hulk
      • Drink Charlie comes up with - nighttime cold medicine and scotch. (Season 5 episode A Little Clammy and None Too Fresh)
    • Egg McBourbon
      • Charlie mixed drink at breakfast time. (Season 7 episode Gumby with a Pokey)
    • The Lindsey Special
      • Drink added to the menu at a bar in honor of drunk Lyndsey. (Season 12 episode A Beer-Battered Rip-off)
    • Tall Pain in the Ass
      • Joke Charlie makes about Herb, ordering a mixed drink called a Tall Pain in the Ass from the bar. (Season 6 episode It's Always Nazi Week)
  • Motels
    • Budget Motor Inn
      • Motel where Herb stays after Judith leaves him. (Season 10 episode Big Episode. Someone Stole a Spoon.)
    • Motel
      • Generic motel where Rose hides Walden from Larry's hitman. (Season 11 episode Mr. Walden, He Die. I Clean Room)
    • Super Motel
      • Motel where Alan and Jake stay on their road trip to the Grand Canyon. (Season 10 episode Cows, Prepare to be Tipped)
  • Movies
    • Alibi
      • Movie Poster At Movie Theater. (Season 4 Episode Smooth As a Ken Doll)
    • Avatart
      • Alan proposes movies and TV show titles for works based on Charlie and Rose's relationship. (Season 8 episode Looking for Japanese Subs)
    • Captivated by Solitude
      • Charlie and Alan run into Judith - and her date - at the movies when they go to see Captivated by Solitude. Other movies playing at the theater include Death Fist 4, Hardball, Beyond, Cybort, Jolly Good Fellow and Pawn. (Season 1 episode Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor)
    • Car-nimal
      • Jake's idea for a screenplay. A man becomes a half-car, half-animal. (Season 6 episode Baseball Was Better with Steroids)
    • Deadly Assets
      • Movie poster at movie theater. (Season 7 episode For the Sake of the Child)
    • Deadly Riders
      • Movie Charlie and Alan go see. (Season 3 episode That Special Tug)
    • Death Fist 4
      • Charlie and Alan run into Judith - and her date - at the movies when they go to see Captivated by Solitude. Other movies playing at the theater include Death Fist 4, Hardball, Beyond, Cybort, Jolly Good Fellow and Pawn. (Season 1 episode Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor)
    • Glitter
      • Movie poster at movie theater. (Season 9 episode The Squat and the Hover)
    • Hardball
      • Charlie and Alan run into Judith - and her date - at the movies when they go to see Captivated by Solitude. Other movies playing at the theater include Death Fist 4, Hardball, Beyond, Cybort, Jolly Good Fellow and Pawn. (Season 1 episode Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor)
    • Harvest
      • Movie Poster At Movie Theater. (Season 4 Episode Smooth As a Ken Doll)
    • Hashtag, I Love You
      • Movie Alan and Paula see. (Season 11 episode Numero Uno Accidente Lawyer)
    • Hiroshima, La Poubelle
      • Movie Alan and Charlie go to see but run into Chelsea and her new boyfriend. "An enchanting journey of self-discovery” (Season 7 episode I Found Your Mustache)
    • Jolly Good Fellow
      • Charlie and Alan run into Judith - and her date - at the movies when they go to see Captivated by Solitude. Other movies playing at the theater include Death Fist 4, Hardball, Beyond, Cybort, Jolly Good Fellow and Pawn. (Season 1 episode Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor)
    • La Poubelle Et Le Fromage
      • Charlie and Chelsea take Alan with them to see La Poubelle et le Fromage at the Nuart. Translation: The Trash and Cheese. (Season 6 episode Good Morning, Mrs. Butterworth)
    • Look Who's Stalking
      • Alan proposes movies and TV show titles for works based on Charlie and Rose's relationship. (Season 8 episode Looking for Japanese Subs)
    • Meet the Stalkers
      • Alan proposes movies and TV show titles for works based on Charlie and Rose's relationship. (Season 8 episode Looking for Japanese Subs)
    • Pawn
      • Charlie and Alan run into Judith - and her date - at the movies when they go to see Captivated by Solitude. Other movies playing at the theater include Death Fist 4, Hardball, Beyond, Cybort, Jolly Good Fellow and Pawn. (Season 1 episode Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor)
    • Wings of Love
      • Romance movie that Alan recommends to Charlie and his girlfriend.
  • Movies-Documentary
    • Charlie Waffles Live in Concert
      • Charlie becomes "Charlie Waffles”, The king of kids songs, to make money and hook up with hot single mothers and nannies, released a greatest hits CD featuring a scratch n sniff poster that smells like maple syrup, performing live in concert and releasing a concert video. (Season 5 episode Is there a Mrs. Waffles?)
    • Dumbass
      • Jake and Eldridge's version of Jackass. (Season 8 episode Looking for Japanese Subs)
  • Movies-Fake Reboots and Sequels
    • Saw 33
      • Saw series sequel playing at movie theater in flash forward when old Charlie takes a hot young girl to a movie and old Alan is working the concession stand with Jake. (Season 4 episode Corey's Been Dead for an Hour)
  • Movies-Parody
    • Pirates of the Blow It Out Your Ass
      • Joke Alan makes while taking the movie quiz at the movie theater. Actually Pirates of the Caribbean. (Season 3 episode That Special Tug)
    • War of the Blow It Out Your Ass
      • Joke Alan makes while taking the movie quiz at the movie theater. Actually War of the Worlds. (Season 3 episode That Special Tug)
    • War of the Couch
      • Joke Alan makes while taking the movie quiz at the movie theater. (Season 3 episode That Special Tug)
    • The Wizard of Blow It Out Your Ass
      • Joke Alan makes while taking the movie quiz at the movie theater. Actually The Wizard of Oz. (Season 3 episode That Special Tug)
  • Movies-Porn
    • 3-D Beach Babes
      • Movie Alan watches. (Season 8 episode That Darn Priest)
    • Assmasters 7 the Final Chapter
      • Adult video that Charlie mentions to Mia after an unsuccessful visit to the sperm bank. Spoiler Alert - it is not the last chapter. They still have a lot of loose ends to wrap up. (Season 4 episode Arguments for the Quickie)
    • Cinnamon's Buns
      • Lyndsey's soft core porn video. (Season 8 episode Skunk, Dog Crap and Ketchup)
      • Lyndsey's mother mentions her film career. (Season 9 episode Palmdale, Ech)
      • Alan and Walden stumble on Lyndsey's soft core porn movie on Cinemax. (Season 9 episode Giant Cat Holding a Churro)
      • Mentioned. (Season 11 episode Cab Fare and a Bottle of Penicillin)
    • Poke-a-Hot-Ass
      • Joke Charlie's daughter makes about her conception being a Disney movie. (Season 11 episode Nangnangnangnang)
    • Vanessa Does Van Nuys
      • Charlie's date's dirty movie that Jake watches on Charlie's laptop. (Season 4 episode That's Summer Sausage, Not Salami)
    • Vanessa Does Woodland Hills
      • Charlie's date's next dirty movie, after Vanessa Does Van Nuys. (Season 4 episode That's Summer Sausage, Not Salami)
  • Movies-Science Fiction
    • Beyond
      • Charlie and Alan run into Judith - and her date - at the movies when they go to see Captivated by Solitude. Other movies playing at the theater include Death Fist 4, Hardball, Beyond, Cybort, Jolly Good Fellow and Pawn. (Season 1 episode Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor)
      • Movie poster at bus stop. (Season 11 episode I Think I banged Lucilla Ball)
      • Movie poster at movie theater. (Season 9 episode The Squat and the Hover)
    • Cybort
      • Charlie and Alan run into Judith - and her date - at the movies when they go to see Captivated by Solitude. Other movies playing at the theater include Death Fist 4, Hardball, Beyond, Cybort, Jolly Good Fellow and Pawn. (Season 1 episode Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor)
    • Mansect
      • Movie poster at movie theater. (Season 11 episode Numero Uno Accidente Lawyer)
  • Moving, Delivery, Shipping and Storage
    • World Delivery
      • Company that delivers Charlie's ashes. (Season 9 episode Nice to Meet you, Walden Schmidt)
  • Musicians
    • Accu-Crack (reggae Band)
      • Alan tells Walden about his the self-healing chiropractic device he invented called the Accu-Crack, which allows you to crack your own back. Problem is, there is already a caulking gun, reggae band and porn site with the same name. And he can't change the name. Because he already had 30,000 brochures printed. (Season 9 episode Slowly and in a Circular Fashion)
    • Bucket of Hate
      • Jake discovers a new band, sneaks out to attend their concert. (Season 4 episode Help Daddy Find his Toenail)
    • Charlie Waffles
      • Charlie becomes "Charlie Waffles”, The king of kids songs, to make money and hook up with hot single mothers and nannies, released a greatest hits CD featuring a scratch n sniff poster that smells like maple syrup, performing live in concert and releasing a concert video. (Season 5 episode Is there a Mrs. Waffles?)
    • Dan Halen
      • Van Halen tribute band concert that Walden - as Sam Wilson - attend. (Season 10 episode One Nut Johnson)
    • Dudes of Rockage
      • Jake is in band. (Season 5 episode Winky-Dink Time)
    • MC Perfunctory
      • Jake comes up with a new rap name for himself. (Season 6 episode Baseball Was Better with Steroids)
    • Prosciutto and Melon
      • Alan's idea for the name of a new musical act. (Season 7 episode This is Not Gonna End Well)
  • Natural Areas
    • Caverns of Chaos
      • Location in the Throgwarten Middle School Mysteries, a childrens book series. Walden meets the author at a rich singles mixer organized by Emily's Elite and Discreet Introductions. (Season 10 episode Throgwarten Middle School Mysteries)
  • Neighborhoods
    • Rancho Pacoima
      • Berta and Charlie travel to a seedy neighborhood to confront the guy that knocked up her daughter. (Season 4 episode Repeated Blows to His Unformed Head)
  • Newspapers
    • The Crazy Bitch Gazette
      • Joke Charlie makes about Rose. (Season 8 episode The Crazy Bitch Gazette)
    • Los Angeles Ledger
      • Newspaper Alan reads. (Season 5 episode A Little Clammy and None Too Fresh)
    • The Malibu Times
      • Magazine Rose's husband Mannny Quinn reads. (Season 8 episode Looking for Japanese Subs)
    • Tarzana PennySaver
      • Newspaper article: ALAN HARPER: Good Doctor, Good Neighbor, Good Guy. (Season 3 episode Something Salted and Twisted)
  • Obstetrics
    • Steven Staven
      • Lyndsey's gynecologist. (Season 10 episode Run Steven Staven! Run!)
  • Operations
    • Operation Dork
      • Joke Dan makes when Christine thanks for the gang for their help with delivering her baby: Some help we were. Operation Dork. (Season 7 episode The Blues of the Birth)
  • Personal Care Products
    • Cank Be Gone
      • Charlie buys Cank Be Gone from Russel for Chelsea when she's sick. (Season 6 episode My Son's Enormous Head)
    • Captain Terry's Spray-on Hair
      • Hair product Alan uses. (Season 7 Captain Terry's Spray-On Hair)
    • Dry Guy Deodorant
      • Charlie wrote the jingle for Dry Guy Deodorant.
      • Charlie incorporates his jingle into Jake's class recital. (Season 1 episode Twenty-five Little Pre-pubers without a Snootful)
    • Fire in the Hole
      • Rose tells Charlie that his jingle for Fire in the Hole hemorrhoid cream was some of his best work. (Season 4 episode The Unfortunate Little Schnauzer)
    • Just Like a Woman
      • Rose tells Charlie that his jingle for Just Like a Woman natural douche was some of his best work. (Season 4 episode The Unfortunate Little Schnauzer)
    • Mr. Herpes
      • Rose tells Charlie that his jingle for Mr. Herpes lip balm was some of his best work. (Season 4 episode The Unfortunate Little Schnauzer)
    • Toe-Zone
      • Walden sings several of Charlie's old jingles. (Season 9 episode Thank You for the Intercourse)
    • Toilet Paper
      • When Charlie runs out of money, he's forced to buy generic products in bulk, including Toilet Paper, Cheese, Vodka and Orange Drink Mix - which he uses to make a screwdriver for Evelyn. (Season 1 episode I Can't Afford Hyenas)
  • Pet Products
    • Magic Pussy Litter
      • TV commercial that Charlie watches - with patented Cluster Busters. (Season 7 episode Gumby with a Pokey)
  • Pizza Parlors
    • Eddie G's Pizzeria
      • Charlie takes Jake out for pizza and gets mace sprayed in his eyes when he tries to get a mother to let her daughter talk to Jake. (Season 5 episode Meander to Your Dander)
      • Restaurant in the background when Rose warns Walden about Larry's hitman. (Season 11 episode Mr. Walden, He Die. I Clean Room)
      • Charlie runs into Chelsea's best friend while Chelsea's in Mexico with Brad. (Season 7 episode Ixnay on the Oggie Day)
  • Plastic Surgery
    • Dr. Shankman
      • Plastic surgeon - Evelyn's new "tushie". (Season 1 episode Can You Feel My Finger?)
    • Dr. Shapiro
      • Plastic surgeon that Evelyn mentions - asking Wendy if he did her nose. (Season 1 episode Phase One, Complete)
    • Schenkman Clinic
      • Charlie gets his eyes done. (Season 8 episode The Immortal Mr. Billy Joel)
      • Walden's mother mentions Dr. Schenkman. (Season 12 episode A Chic Bar in Ibiza)
  • Poetry
    • Untitled Poem
      • Title of the poem that Bob's group writes for him together for their anniversary. (Season 4 episode 3 Death of a Fruitman)
  • Professional Organizations
    • San Fernando Valley Chiropractic Association
      • Organization Alan mentions named him Chiropractor of the Year. (Pilot episode)
    • Southern California Trial Lawyers Association
      • Charlie's new appropriately aged judge girlfriend is recognized as Judge of the Year by the Southern California Trial Lawyers Association. Charlie ruins the ceremony after taking an unknown drug from Evelyn. (Season 4 episode Help Daddy Find his Toenail)
  • Realty Services
    • Evelyn Harper Real Estate
      • Alan & Charlie's mother owns a real estate company.
    • Westside Realtors Association
      • Evelyn asks the boys to have party for when she receives her golden blazer from the Westside Realtors Association. (Season 2 episode A Kosher slaughterhouse out in Fontana)
  • Recipes
    • Charlie's Blackout Chili
      • Chili that Charlie makes sometimes when he's had too much to drink and doesn't remember making. (Season 4 episode Mr. McGlue's Feedbag)
    • Fudge Covered Ham
      • Idea Charlie and Alan come up after eating fudge and honey baked ham. (Season 3 episode Santa's Village of the Damned)
    • Honey Baked Fudge
      • Idea Charlie and Alan come up after eating fudge and honey baked ham. (Season 3 episode Santa's Village of the Damned)
    • Honeymoon Pancakes
      • Jenny makes Alan and Walden Honeymoon Pancakes that looks like "hearts and arrows”. (Season 12 episode A Chic Bar in Ibiza)
    • McWalden
      • Walden makes a breakfast sandwich called the McWalden, which Kate calls the McBypass. (Season 10 episode Throgwarten Middle School Mysteries)
    • Mystery Pie
      • Rose brings a dessert called Mystery Pie to Charlie's Thanksgiving party. (Season 1 episode Merry Thanksgiving)
    • Ninja Death Toast
      • Dangerous breakfast item that Charlie throws at Alan, injuring his eye. (Season 2 episode A Low, Guttural Tongue-Flapping Noise)
  • Record Companies
    • Fluff Bunny Records
      • Record company that signs Charlie as Charlie Waffles, his new moniker as the king of childrens songs, run by President and CEO Artie Pliskin. (Season 5 episode Is there a Mrs. Waffles?)
  • Religious Organizations
    • Temple Beth Shalom
      • Alan goes looking for religious consultation regarding his chiropractic Ponzi scheme. (Season 8 episode That Darn Priest)
  • Restaurants-Other
    • Antonio's
      • Charlie suggests Antonio's for dinner, but his date Sherri picks The Oak Room instead. (Season 2 episode Bad News from the Clinic?)
    • Di Filipo's
      • Restaurant that Walden - as Sam Wilson - and Kate visit. (Season 10 episode One Nut Johnson)
      • Walden and Kate visit, same as their first date. (Season 11 episode West Side Story)
    • Georgio's
      • Expensive restaurant where Charlie tells Alan to take new neighbor Danielle. (Season 4 episode That's Summer Sausage, Not Salami)
    • Greenblatt's
      • Evelyn and Rose go to lunch, and sends chicken soup home for a sick Alan - though it is intercepted by Charlie and Jake. (Season 1 episode Sara Like Puny Alan)
    • La Dolce
      • Fancy restaurant. (Season 11 episode Oh WALD-E, Good Times Ahead)
    • The Magic Castle
      • Location of Jake's birthday party - not shown. (Season 1 episode Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You)
    • Mon Grenier Du Vivre
      • Restaurant where Evelyn takes Chelsea for lunch. (Season 6 episode Hello, I am Alan Cousteau)
    • The Oak Room
      • Charlie suggests Antonio's for dinner, but his date Sherri picks The Oak Room instead. (Season 2 episode Bad News from the Clinic?)
    • Soup Plantation
      • Restaurant Jake recommends to Walden when Walden asks for a romantic suggestion. (Season 9 episode Big Girls Don't Throw Food)
    • Terrace Gardens
      • Restaurant where Charlie, Michelle, Alan and Evelyn have dinner together. (Season 8 episode The Crazy Bitch Gazette)
  • Retirement Communities
    • Sunset Village
      • Lyndsey's mother's retirement home, which Eldridge referred to as "International House of Old People”. (Season 9 episode Palmdale, Ech)
  • Robot Models
    • Robot Butler
      • Android Walden wanted to invent when he was in college. (Season 10 episode Throgwarten Middle School Mysteries)
    • WALD-E
      • Walden's robot. (Season 11 episode Oh WALD-E, Good Times Ahead)
  • School Mascots
    • Craters
      • In a flash forward to the year 2030, Louis attends Moon University, and there's a game between Jupiter State and Moon University. Go Craters! (Season 12 episode Don't Give a Monkey a Gun)
  • Schools-Medical
    • Guadalajara Medical School
      • Charlie tells Alan that if he hadn't gotten into jingle writing, he would have ended up playing faculty mixers at the Guadalajara Medical School. (Season 1 episode Sara Like Puny Alan)
  • Schools-Other
    • Backsnapper U
      • Joke Charlie makes about Alan's alma mater. (Season 1 episode Sara Like Puny Alan)
  • Schools-Performing Arts
    • Les Petites Pétomanes
      • Ballet school. French name that translates to: The little flatulists girls. Charlie bribes and tricks Jake into taking ballet lessons so he can get closer to Mia, the teacher. (Season 3 episode That Voodoo That I Do Do)
    • Pierre's Malibu Dance Studio
      • Charlie and Chelsea take dancing lessons for their wedding. (Season 7 That's Why They Call It 'Ball Room')
    • Waverly Dance Studio
      • Dance studio on Waverly Street that Charlie researches looking for Mia. (Season 3 episode That Voodoo that I Do Do)
    • Westwood Academy of Dance
      • Dance studio on Pico Blvd that Charlie researches looking for Mia. (Season 3 episode That Voodoo that I Do Do)
  • Sex Products
    • I Can't Believe It's Not Body Butter
      • Joke about a sex product. (Season 11 episode Bite Me, Supreme Court)
    • Penis Pump Industries
      • Alan orders a penis pump. (Season 9 episode The Squat and the Hover)
  • Social Media Apps
    • Blungogo
      • Walden and Billy named their previous business "Blungogo”, after the sound Billy was making when Walden was trying to choke him to death. Before that though, Billy wanted "musicalgorithm.com” and Walden wanted "SongSnatch”. (Season 9 episode The War Against Gingivitis)
    • Boobshop
      • Jake and Eldridge's idea for a new app - Photoshop for your boobs. (Season 9 episode Palmdale, Ech)
    • Crapster
      • Alan's idea for an app that can find a clean public restroom anywhere in the world. (Season 11 episode Tazed in the Lady Nuts)
    • Junkshop
      • Jake and Eldridge's idea for a new app - Photoshop for your junk. (Season 9 episode Palmdale, Ech)
    • The Stanhope-Schmidt Electric Suitcase
      • Walden and Billy's new business venture. (Season 9 episode The War Against Gingivitis)
  • Songs
    • Back-Stabbing Dream Killer
      • Joke Alan makes about a song Taylor Swift would write about Walden. (Season 11 episode Justice in Star-Spangled Hot Pants)
    • The Booger Boogie
      • Song by Charlie Waffles, Charlie's new moniker when he records childrens songs to make money and hook up with hot single moms and nannies. (Season 5 episode Is there a Mrs. Waffles?)
    • Bye Bye Boobies
      • Song by Charlie Waffles, Charlie's new moniker when he records childrens songs to make money and hook up with hot single moms and nannies. (Season 5 episode Is there a Mrs. Waffles?)
    • The Cat Can't Swim (Don't Bite the Puppy)
      • Song by Charlie Waffles, Charlie's new moniker when he records childrens songs to make money and hook up with hot single moms and nannies. (Season 5 episode Is there a Mrs. Waffles?)
    • Chloe's Song
      • Song Charlie claims to be writing for Chloe, but it's actually the music for The Way You Look Tonight. (Season 4 episode Anteaters. They're Just Crazy-Lookin')
    • Don't Shake the Baby
      • Song by Charlie Waffles, Charlie's new moniker when he records childrens songs to make money and hook up with hot single moms and nannies. (Season 5 episode Is there a Mrs. Waffles?)
    • Feed It to the Dog
      • Song by Charlie Waffles, Charlie's new moniker when he records childrens songs to make money and hook up with hot single moms and nannies. (Season 5 episode Is there a Mrs. Waffles?)
    • From Diaper to Wiper
      • Song by Charlie Waffles, Charlie's new moniker when he records childrens songs to make money and hook up with hot single moms and nannies. (Season 5 episode Is there a Mrs. Waffles?)
    • Get Your Mouth Off My Daughter You Cheatin' Son of a Bitch
      • Phrase Jake's ex-girlfriend yells at him, and Walden says that would make a great country song. (Season 10 episode Bazinga! That's From a TV Show)
    • Grandma May Smell Funny
      • Song by Charlie Waffles, Charlie's new moniker when he records childrens songs to make money and hook up with hot single moms and nannies. (Season 5 episode Is there a Mrs. Waffles?)
    • I Like Corn
      • Song by Charlie Waffles, Charlie's new moniker when he records childrens songs to make money and hook up with hot single moms and nannies. (Season 5 episode Is there a Mrs. Waffles?)
    • I Love Boobies
      • Song by Charlie Waffles, Charlie's new moniker when he records childrens songs to make money and hook up with hot single moms and nannies. (Season 5 episode Is there a Mrs. Waffles?)
    • Kiss My Owie
      • Song by Charlie Waffles, Charlie's new moniker when he records childrens songs to make money and hook up with hot single moms and nannies. (Season 5 episode Is there a Mrs. Waffles?)
    • Mommy's Little Happy Pill
      • Song by Charlie Waffles, Charlie's new moniker when he records childrens songs to make money and hook up with hot single moms and nannies. (Season 5 episode Is there a Mrs. Waffles?)
    • The Peepee Song
      • Song by Charlie Waffles, Charlie's new moniker when he records childrens songs to make money and hook up with hot single moms and nannies. (Season 5 episode Is there a Mrs. Waffles?)
    • Potty Time
      • Song by Charlie Waffles, Charlie's new moniker when he records childrens songs to make money and hook up with hot single moms and nannies. (Season 5 episode Is there a Mrs. Waffles?)
    • Rush to Flush
      • Song by Charlie Waffles, Charlie's new moniker when he records childrens songs to make money and hook up with hot single moms and nannies. (Season 5 episode Is there a Mrs. Waffles?)
    • Sippy Cup
      • Song by Charlie Waffles, Charlie's new moniker when he records childrens songs to make money and hook up with hot single moms and nannies. (Season 5 episode Is there a Mrs. Waffles?)
    • Two Burritos and a Rootbeer Float
      • Song Eddie Van Halen wrote in the bathroom. (Season 7 episode 818-jklpuzo)
    • Weekend Daddy
      • Song by Charlie Waffles, Charlie's new moniker when he records childrens songs to make money and hook up with hot single moms and nannies. (Season 5 episode Is there a Mrs. Waffles?)
    • Wet Sheets in the Morning
      • Song by Charlie Waffles, Charlie's new moniker when he records childrens songs to make money and hook up with hot single moms and nannies. (Season 5 episode Is there a Mrs. Waffles?)
    • When Mommy and Daddy Wrestle
      • Song by Charlie Waffles, Charlie's new moniker when he records childrens songs to make money and hook up with hot single moms and nannies. (Season 5 episode Is there a Mrs. Waffles?)
    • Who Barfed in the Fishbowl?
      • Song by Charlie Waffles, Charlie's new moniker when he records childrens songs to make money and hook up with hot single moms and nannies. (Season 5 episode Is there a Mrs. Waffles?)
    • Who Cut the Cheese?
      • Song by Charlie Waffles, Charlie's new moniker when he records childrens songs to make money and hook up with hot single moms and nannies. (Season 5 episode Is there a Mrs. Waffles?)
    • Who Moved the Reindeer?
      • Joke song Charlie sings when Alan's new nester girlfriend gets up set over someone moving her reindeer Christmas decorations. (Season 3 episode Santa's Village of the Damned)
  • Spas
    • Beverly Glen Spa
      • Lyndsey gets Alan a gift certificate. (Season 8 episode Dead From the Waist Down)
    • Malibu Day Spa
      • Alan gets a reminder phone call message for his bikini wax. (Season 7 Aye, Aye, Captain Douche)
  • Sporting Goods Stores
    • Daisy's Fishing Tackle and Live Bait
      • Berta recommends her baby sister to cater the party for Evelyn when she gets her golden blazer from the Westside Realtors Association. She also has a fishing tackle business. (Season 2 episode A Kosher slaughterhouse out in Fontana)
  • Sports Associations
    • Musicians Softball League
      • Charlie plays softball for the Pavlov's Dogs as part of the Musicians Softball League. (Season 1 episode Did You Check with the Captain of the Flying Monkeys?)
  • Strip Clubs
    • Les Girls Girls Girls
      • Strip club that Jake mentions. (Season 5 episode A Little Clammy and None Too Fresh)
      • Strip club from Joke Charlie makes. (Season 8 episode Three Hookers and a Philly Cheesesteak)
  • Tattoo Parlors
    • Tammy's Tatties
      • Jake's girlfriend Tammy's tattoo parlor. (Season 10 episode Run Steven Staven! Run!)
  • Theater Productions
    • The Amazing Adventures of Stretch Armstrong
      • Charlie's penis puppet show. (Season 2 episode Yes, Monsignor)
    • Nude Legends on Ice
      • Show Charlie asks about. (Season 2 episode Smell the Umbrella Stand)
  • Thoroughfares-Avenues
    • Woodward Avenue
      • Address of Jake's school. (Season 2 episode Can You Eat Human Flesh With Human Teeth?)
  • Thoroughfares-Drives
    • Bonnie Meadow Drive
      • Alan's ex-wife's address in Sherman Oaks. (Season 1 episode Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell)
      • Lyndsey's house is on Bonnie Meadow Drive in Sherman Oaks. (Season 9 episode Pudding-filled Cactus)
  • Thoroughfares-Lanes
    • Amy Lane
      • Walden drives Jake and Eldridge to a party on Amy Lane, but it turns out Amy Lane is the name of the girl having the party, not her address. (Season 9 episode Palmdale, Ech)
  • Thoroughfares-Other
    • Stone Canyon
      • Realtor Evelyn mentions a 4 bedroom Tudor on Stone Canyon. (Season 2 episode A Sympathetic Crotch to Cry On)
  • Thoroughfares-Streets
    • Forrester Street
      • Before coming out, Chelsea's father mentions a gay bar called the Log Cabin, back home on Forrester Street, right next to the A&W. (Season 7 Yay, No Polyps)
  • TV Shows
    • Alan Harper's Place
      • Alan joke, good name for a sitcom. (Season 11 episode West Side Story)
    • Alan, Where are You?
      • TV show Alan makes up to hide the fact from Lyndsey that his date is in his bedroom. (Season 11 episode Some Kind of Lesbian Zombie)
    • Here Comes Pleshkin
      • TV show created by Evelyn's boyfriend Marty. (Season 11 episode I Think I banged Lucilla Ball)
    • I Love Looney
      • Alan proposes movies and TV show titles for works based on Charlie and Rose's relationship. (Season 8 episode Looking for Japanese Subs)
    • Meet the Schmidts
      • Joke about good name for a TV sitcom. (Season 11 episode Lan mao shi zai wuding shang)
    • Stiffs
      • Kandi gets a role as a forensic detective on a police procedural show called Stiffs. (Season 4 episode It Never Rains in Hooterville)
      • Stiffs celebrates its 100th episode. (Season 12 episode Of Course He's Dead)
      • Kandi returns, now famous for her role on Stiffs. (Season 10 episode I Scream When I Pee)
    • Superdad
      • New sitcom on Nickelodeon that Charlie writes a theme song for. (Season 7 episode Keith Moon is Vomiting in his Grave)
  • TV Shows-Reality TV
    • Hillbilly Gynecologist
      • TV show Alan mentions. (Season 10 episode Cows, Prepare to be Tipped)
  • TV Shows-Soap Operas
    • The Bold and the Bulimic
      • Joke Charlie makes trying to get Alan to go on a double date when he's sick - his girl is on a soap opera, but he doesn't remember which one. (Season 1 episode Sara Like Puny Alan)
  • TV Stations
    • Channel 14
      • Live feed of the motel clerk's spa tub at the generic motel where Rose hides him from Larry's hitman. (Season 11 episode Mr. Walden, He Die. I Clean Room)
  • Universities
    • Jupiter State
      • In a flash forward to the year 2030, Louis attends Moon University, and there's a game between Jupiter State and Moon University. Go Craters! (Season 12 episode Don't Give a Monkey a Gun)
    • Moon University
      • In a flash forward to the year 2030, Louis attends Moon University, and there's a game between Jupiter State and Moon University. Go Craters! (Season 12 episode Don't Give a Monkey a Gun)
  • Vehicle Dealerships
    • Beverly Hills German Motors
      • Alan takes Charlie's car in for service, meets a woman who thinks Charlie's car is his car, takes her back to his mother's house pretending it's his house, where she convinces him to put on a red chiffon dress, at which point she steals his clothes and Charlie's car. (Season 6 episode The Mooch at the Boo)
    • Jerry's Cadillac
      • Dealership in Tustin. "If you want a Caddy, I'm your daddy.” (Season 10 episode Bazinga! That's From a TV Show)
  • Video Games
    • Scooter's Magic Tree Fort
      • Video game Charlie buys for Jake. (Season 1 episode Just Like Buffalo)
    • Vampire Hunter
      • Jake's new video game. (Season 1 episode If They Do Go Either Way, They're Usually Fake)
  • Video Games-Arcade
    • Alien Blaster
      • Arcade video game that Walden buys for Louis. (Season 12 episode Oontz Oontz Oontz)
    • Comic Heroes
      • Arcade video game that Walden buys for Louis. (Season 12 episode Oontz Oontz Oontz)
  • Water
    • Lake Monogamy
      • Joke Alan makes at Charlie's expense when he starts dating Mia: "swimming in Lake Monogamy”. (Season 3 episode Episode Love isn't Blind, it's Retarded)
  • Websites
    • Accu-Crack (porn Site)
      • Alan tells Walden about his the self-healing chiropractic device he invented called the Accu-Crack, which allows you to crack your own back. Problem is, there is already a caulking gun, reggae band and porn site with the same name. And he can't change the name. Because he already had 30,000 brochures printed. (Season 9 episode Slowly and in a Circular Fashion)
    • Alanandwaldensbigday.com
      • Website Alan creates for the wedding. (Season 12 episode A Chic Bar in Ibiza)
    • Blungogo.com
      • Walden's $1.3 billion company that Microsoft bought and bundled with Zune. (Season 9 episode Nice to Meet you, Walden Schmidt)
    • CharlieHarperSucks.com
      • Charlie learns that a disgruntled ex-lover has created a website about him. Spoiler - it was Rose, and she takes it down after he apologizes to her. (Season 2 episode Last Chance to See Those Tattoos)
    • DanishMunchers.com
      • Porn website Alan mentions. (Season 8 episode Chocolate Diddlers or My Puppy's Dead)
    • MalibuPuddingGirls.com
      • Charlie recommends a porn website to Alan. (Season 8 episode Twanging Your Magic Clanger)
    • ShaunaShower.com
      • Charlie's date's daughter mentions having a webcam in her bathroom. Later, Charlie tries to guess her website. (Season 8 episode Twanging Your Magic Clanger)
    • TexasSqueezeEm.com
      • Porn website Alan visits. (Season 11 episode Clank, Clank, Drunken Skank)
  • Wine
    • 2 4 1 Buck Chuck Wine
      • Instant wine product that Alan drinks. (Season 12 episode A Beer-Battered Rip-off)
    • Two Buck Canuck
      • Alan's cheap champagne. (Season 11 episode How to Get Rid of Alan Harper)
    • Wine-ish
      • Alan's cheap wine. (Season 11 episode How to Get Rid of Alan Harper)
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