- Jimmy James: I never doubted myself for a minute, for I knew that my monkey-strong bowels were girded with strength like the loins of a dragon ribboned with fat and the opulence of buffalo dung.
- Jimmy James:
"That's what happens when you empty a man's bank account and ruin his credit rating. Blackball him so he can't ever get a job. I call it my deluxe severance package." (Season 5 episode Wino)
- Lisa: Johnny, our paths have diverged. I'm a journalist. You're a wino. Just get outta here, ok. Go! Scram! (episode Wino)