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Quotes: These folks are in the midst of intimate and relaxed conversations, a.k.a. sweet nothings.
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- A.J. Frost
- A.J. Frost: You know what I was thinkin'? I really don't think that the animal cracker qualifies as a cracker. 'Cause it's sweet, which to me suggests cookie, and, you know, cheese on something is sort of the defining characteristic of what makes a cracker a cracker. I don't know why I thought of that.
- Al Bundy
- Al Bundy: I don't smell no food. If you expect me to pleasure you, I need what Robert Mitchum needs.
- Alabama Worley
- Alabama Worley: If you gave me a million years to ponder, I would've never guessed that true romance and Detroit would ever go together.
- Alabama Worley: I'm one hundred percent monogamous, one hundred percent. If I'm with you, then I'm with you, and I don't want nobody else.
- Alice Huff
- Alice Huff: I love you. Stay golden, pony boy.
- Alotta Fagina
- Alotta Fagina: In Japan, men come first and women come second.
- Billy-Ben & Jess-Belle
- Billy-Ben: You're enough to drive a man crazy.
Jess-Belle: You're sure a master hand with the sweet words, Billy-Ben.
- Bilquis: Will you call me goddess? Will you pray to me? Will you worship me with your body?
- Butch & Fabienne
- Butch: I think I have a broken rib.
Fabienne: From giving me oral pleasure?
- Chandler: I'm very happy we're gonna have all the sex. (Season 5 episode The One Where Everybody Finds Out)
- Chidi Anagonye
- Chidi Anagonye: Time means nothing. Jeremy Bearimy, baby. (Season 3 episode Pandemonium)
- Clemens: I really appreciate your affections. But I am aware that they deflected my question. In the nicest possible way, of course. I want to know why we had to cremate the bodies.
- College Guy
- College Guy: Save the speeches for Malcolm X. I just wanna get laid.
- Dana Scully
- Dana Scully: You sure know how to make a girl feel special on her birthday. (episode Tempus Fugit)
- David Aames
- David Aames: That smile's going to be the end of me.
- Diane Court
- Diane Court: Listen to this song. This is a good song.
- Doc Holiday
- Doc Holiday: You are a good woman. Then again, you may be the antichrist.
- Eddie Jessup
- Eddie Jessup: When I was 9 years old I used to see visions. visions of saints and angels, even Christ himself. Of course I don't do that anymore, not since I was 16.
- Emily Sanderson
- Emily Sanderson: Don't upset me, unless you want to make me less horny.
- Fat Bastard
- Fat Bastard: Look at that meal. I'm dead sexy. Look at my sexy body. Oh, look, I'm like a singer. Oh, sexy man, sexy man, eating like a sexy man can. By the way, would you like some chicken? I've got more.
- Fletcher Reed
- Fletcher Reed: I've had better.
- Fox Mulder
- Fox Mulder: Pardon my rubber. (episode Blood)
- Fox Mulder: Hey... I think you drooled on me. (episode Pusher)
- Freddie: I'm closer to 30 than I am to 20. I used to be 7 years old. I used to be unborn. I used to be 14. And tomorrow I'll be 40 or 50. I'm dying. I'm dying. Right now we're both dying. Listen to the ticking. It gets louder with every second. I don't wanna die here.
- Frenchie, Cherie & Jay
- Frenchie: (Talking about Golden Girls) Those saucy ladies, they made their own family. So I did what they did. You are my Blanche. And Jay, you are my Dorothy.
Cherie: ‘Cause you're a little gay.
Jay: So you're Betty White.
Frenchie: Oh, what a fucking question. Of course I'm Betty White.
(Season 2 episode The Bloody Doors Off)
- Gary: You wanna get laid, okay - later!
- Gary: You're different. A guy gets to know things, who cares, who don't. You care. Not a mean bone in your body.
- Gary: You got a nice body. I admire people who keep in shape. I work out all the time. In my neighborhood, if you didn't fight you were a fruit. In prison you didn't fight, you spread ass.
- Gary: Goddamn women. All you gotta do is lie there. A guy's gotta do all the work.
- Homer Simpson
- Homer Simpson: Now how about a little rapture for mama? (Season 16 episode Thank God it's Doomsday)
- Hooker: You remind me of this guy that used to come and see me when I worked in New Orleans. He looked a lot like you. You ever been to New Orleans? He was nice. He wasn't as quiet as you, though. But you two almost look like brothers. Except he had tattoos. I think that he was in the Navy, and he used to come and see me every Friday or Saturday night. His name was Clarence. I had a lot of fun in New Orleans. Sorry I ever came to this lousy town. There's nothing to do here. So I took every kind of dance class imaginable because I wanted to be a dancer, and so I came here because it's off season.
- Howard & Marion
- Howard: Marion, the kids are gone, we can do anything we want, we can even watch tv naked.
Marion: Oh not that again, Howard.
- Jack Scagnetti
- Jack Scagnetti: Have you ever been strangled?
- James Bond
- James Bond: You're a woman of many parts, Pussy!
- James Bond: That's a nice little nothing you're almost wearing.
- James Bond: Presumably I'm the condemned man, and obviously you're the hearty breakfast.
- James Bond: Now put your clothes back on, and I'll buy you an ice cream.
- James Bond: I thought Christmas only comes once a year.
- Jason Dean
- Jason Dean: Thank you. That was my first game of strip croquet.
- Jordan O'Neil
- Jordan O'Neil: Get your dick back in here.
- Jordan White
- Jordan White: I'm worried about catching AIDS.
- Jordan White: This is so nice, lying here like two spoons stacked in a drawer. I hope we die simultaneously, like in a fiery car wreck or nuclear blast or something.
- Kate Jagger
- Kate Jagger: Oh, you give all right - presents, clothes. I just wish you weren't so generous with your cock.
- King Of The Moon
- King of the Moon: I'm back! I got lips again and I'm gonna use 'em, baby!
- Long Duk Dong
- Long Duk Dong: No more yankie my wankie. The Donger need food.
- Mallory Knox
- Mallory Knox: That was the worst fuckin' head I ever got in my life. Next time don't be so fuckin' eager.
- Manjula & Apu
- Manjula: I can't believe it. You closed the Kwik-E-Mart just for me.
Apu: Well, you, and the health inspector.
- Marla Singer
- Marla Singer: I haven't been fucked like that since grade school.
- The Marquis De Sade
- The Marquis de Sade: You've already stolen my heart, as well as another more prominent organ, south of the Equator.
- Martin: I'm not angry. I'm not disappointed. I just can't stand a woman's company just after I fucked her.
- Martin: Next time, fireworks. Just a little premature.
- Michelle: And this one time, at band camp, I stuck a flute in my pussy.
- Mickey Knox
- Mickey Knox: Let me tell you something, this is the 1990's, alright? In this day and age a man has to have choices, a man has to have a little bit of variety.
- Mickey Knox: Even if that ring pulls out every hair on your head it stays on. If it tears out my eyeballs it never comes off. Every great thing we do starts with these.
- Mr. Burns
- Mr. Burns: My darling, since my kneecaps are filling with fluid as we speak, I'll be brief. Will you marry me?
- Natima: I love you, Quark. I've always loved you, even when I hated you. (Season 2 episode Profit and Loss)
- Nora Antony
- Nora Antony: That was surprisingly nice. (Season 1 episode Five Stars)
- Odo: I don't ever want to leave this room. Can we stay here forever? (Season 5 episode A Simple Investigation)
- President Andrew Shepherd
- President Andrew Shepherd: I'm sorry about this. We'll do it better next time.
- Pussy Galore
- Pussy Galore: You like a close shave, don't you?
- Ramon & Romy White
- Ramon: You have to say something nice about my penis!
Romy White: Oh Ramon, your penis is so powerful! I'm coming! Okay, thank you! Get off me!
- Satan: How come you always want to make love to me from behind? Is it because you want to pretend I'm somebody else?
- Satan: Is sex the only thing that matters to you?
- Sofia Serrano & David Aames
- Sofia Serrano: What are you watching?
David Aames: It's the greatest show. It's called Sofia.
- Sydney Ellen Wade
- Sydney Ellen Wade: Well, I'm no expert but I think we did it pretty good this time.
- Tatiana: You look surprised. I thought you expected me.
- Tatiana & James Bond
- Tatiana: The mechanism is. Oh James, James. Will you make love to me all the time in England?
James Bond: Day and night. Go on about the mechanism.
- Theresa: Maybe it's me. Whatever, it's not your fault, it happens.
- Theresa: Oh, you are a con man!
- Theresa: I wonder why it is after we make love we never talk or touch or anything.
- Theresa: Well, why'd you stop? Did you? Is it over? It was just getting so nice. Was it me? Was it my fault? Did I do something wrong?
- Tom Dolan & Annie Wilkes New record added 9/30/2021
- Tom Dolan: I love you.
Annie Wilkes: How could you not?
- Topper Harley
- Topper Harley: I’ve fallen for you like a blind roofer.
- Topper Harley: My heart has fallen down around my ankles like a wet pair of pants.
- Veronica Quaife
- Veronica Quaife: Oh God, wait. Oh God. How can you keep going? You can't have any fluid left in your body. We've been doing this for hours.
- Vic Casey & Sheena
- Vic Casey: Funny thing about fatal burns- there's no pain.
Sheena: What are you telling me Vic Casey?
Vic Casey: How much I love you Sheena. So much it busts my heart.
Sheena: My heart breaks also.
- Viola De Lesseps
- Viola De Lesseps: I would not have thought it. There is something better than a play. Even your play. And that was only my first try.
- Will Randall
- Will Randall: I've never loved anybody this way. Never looked at a woman and thought, if civilization fails, if the world ends, I'll still understand what God meant.
- Xenia Onatopp
- Xenia Onatopp: You don't need the gun.
- Zoot: You must spank her well, and after you are done with her, you may deal with her as you like... and then, spank me!
- Zoot: And after the spanking, the oral sex!
- Zoot: Yes! Yes, you must give us all a good spanking!
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