HomeSourcesBOGUS BUSINESS BUREAUFictional TimelineThemes
 Exact order 
What started out as the ultimate compendium of fake businesses and products now contains many new categories that don't fit the original description... but we just can't bring ourselves to change the name.
Category Groups
Category Group Filter: PRODUCTS
Category Filter: MAKEUP AND PERFUME

  • Makeup and Perfume
    • Allergic
        • There's a launch party for this new perfume by Dennis Feinstein at Tom's Snakehole Lounge. Allergic for Men, slogan: Cause a Reaction (Season 3 episode Indianapolis)
    • Animal Magnetism
        • Cosmetics line advertised in the Fight Club press kit. While we do sell product made from the hides of animals, we have never and will never test any product on laboratory animals. Our Animal Magnetism line of cosmetics is a collection of 100% untested make-up for eyes, skin and hair. Because no animals were harmed in testing our product, we must caution that some corrosive side effects may occur with use. If you have an adverse reaction to any of our product, please contact us immediately, and then call a paramedic.
    • Attack
        • Cologne Tom wears, by Dennis Feinstein, for when you wanna attack the senses of the lady you wanna bed. (Season 2 episode 94 Meetings, Season 3 episode Indianapolis)
    • Baron Von Costume's Deluxe Disguise Kit
        • Kit Milhouse uses to disguise Bart as one of the Shelbyville punks. (Season 6 episode Lemon of Troy)
    • Beach
        • Idea for a new perfume that Kramer comes up with, and Calvin Klein steals. (Season 4 episode The Pick)
    • Beau-line
        • New skin cream from Hedare Beauty that is able to reverse the effects of aging.
    • Black Honey
        • Lipstick flavor… "They say women are more likely to buy lipstick if its named after food or sex."
    • Blackout
        • Dennis Feinstein's ether-based perfume that was named one of Maxim's top hundred ways to trick someone into sex. (Season 3 episode Indianapolis)
    • Blowhole
        • After a work accident at the plant, Homer gets skybox tickets to a hockey game at the Gee Your Hair Smells Terrific Arena, where he is given Blowhole cologne with ground up whale in it. (Season 14 episode Helter Shelter)
    • Bolshevik Uprising
        • Perfume that Harry’s new Russian girlfriend wears. (Season 5 episode Russkie Business)
    • Bunny Faye Cosmetics
        • Quon Lee becomes a Bunny Faye girl, selling cosmetics. But when she gets sick, Mac has to host her makeup party at work. (Season 7 episode If I Were a Rich Man)
    • Calvin Klein's Obsession For Teeth
        • Perfume dentist Dr. Wolfe mentions to Lisa when providing braces options for Lisa, starting with the most expensive, braces that are invisible, painless and periodically release a delightful burst of Calvin Klein's Obsession for Teeth. (Season 4 episode Last Exit to Springfield)
    • Cantel Cosmetics
        • Lisette starts selling cosmetics. “So swell, you can’t tell you have them on” and “Why smell like Hell when you can smell like Cantel?” (Season 9 episode Poker? I Hardly Knew Her)
    • Casey
        • Casey's perfume brand from Casey's story about the future that the gang finds in their time capsule from when they were kids in Season 7 episode Life Could Be a Dream.
    • Chanel No. 666
        • Joke Charlie makes about Evelyn’s scent when they go shopping for a birthday present for her. (Season 4 episode I Merely Slept With a Commie)
    • Chocolate
        • Cologne that Mr. Peterson is wearing, to hide the smell of Bob’s group’s surprise anniversary cake. (Season 4 episode 3 Death of a Fruitman)
    • Claude And Maurice Facial Treatment
        • Two guys follow you around ensuring your face looks good (Steve Martin's All Commercials TV special)
    • Cosmique Cosmetics
        • Cosmetic company where ALD works in the alternate reality that his guardian angel shows him, the one where he never crashed into the Tanners' garage (Season 3 episode Stairway to Heaven)
    • Desert Breeze
        • While participating as a medical research subject at the Screaming Monkey Medical Research Center to earn extra money, Homer gets tested with a perfume called Desert Breeze and a diet product called Diet Drug Z-3. (Season 12 episode HOMR)
    • Devastation
        • The name of the perfume Sam's old flame Rachel Patterson wears that drives him crazy (Season 7 episode 2 Swear to God)
    • Dharma Initiative Cologne
        • Dharma branded cologne product. (episode Live Together, Die Alone, Part 2)
    • Eau De Crankcase
        • Joke narrator makes to the trucker: What's that aftershave, handsome? Eau de Crankcase? (story Nona)
    • Emma Rose Parfumerie
        • MJ is the face of Emma Rose Parfumerie, with her picture on billboards all over the city.
    • Epiphany For Men
        • Charlie Harper: You know what that smell is? Epiphany for men. (Season 3 episode Something Salted and Twisted)
    • Evening Lobster
        • Terry Faith Cosmetic product (Season 1 episode Keepin' the Faith)
    • Eyelash Conditioner
        • Product sold at La Porte d'Argent (Season 10 episode Door Jam)
    • Forbidden
        • One of the two perfumes Daphne decides between for her date with Derek. "Your passport to erotic realms of pleasure." (Season 2 episode Duke's, We Hardly Knew Ye)
    • Fuck Off
        • Lipstick flavor… "They say women are more likely to buy lipstick if its named after food or sex."
    • Glitz
        • Diamond cream that Lindsay wants to buy because it's lavish and expensive, and George Michael wants to for a gift for his girlfriend Ann. (Season 2)
    • Glyde By Dennis Feinstein
        • Perfume advertised on the back of the Celebrity Baby Plastic Surgery Disasters magazine that Fake Eleanor reads in the checkout line at the grocery store (Season 1 episode 12 Mindy St. Claire). Originally from Parks and Recreation.
    • Go Away
        • Eddie tells Betty that his cologne is called Nice and Easy, and he asks her what she’s wearing. She says her perfume is called Go Away.
    • Good Soul
        • Cosmetic product sold by ALF's cosmetic company Cosmique Cosmetics in the alternate reality that his guardian angel shows him, the one where he never crashed into the Tanners' garage (Season 3 episode Stairway to Heaven)
    • Guacamole Skin Toner
        • Terry Faith Cosmetic product (Season 1 episode Keepin' the Faith)
    • Heather
        • One of the two perfumes Daphne decides between for her date with Derek. "Fresh and bouncy as a spring morning." (Season 2 episode Duke's, We Hardly Knew Ye)
    • Hey You
        • Perfume. The scent you can't ignore for that special someone you never expect to see again. "The perfume for one night stands." Brought to you by Olfalo. From Gilda Radner sketch.
    • The Hounds
        • FDA-rejected cologne Dennis Feinstein developed that makes everything smell like wet dog, used to disperse the Save JJ's protestors outside his office building. (Season 7 episode Save JJ's)
    • Ichiban
        • Lipstick for Men commercial that Joey filmed in Japan. (Season 10 episode The One With Ross' Grant)
    • Incentive For Men
        • Cologne at department store that smells like beets. Phoebe lets the shop assistant stray her so Mike will know she's over him because she'll smell like another guy. (Season 9 episode The One With the Donor)
    • Integrity
        • I launch my fragrance called Integrity, I sell the fact that I can't be bought (Song: Batphone)
    • Itchy & Scratchy Cologne
        • Cologne product visible in the Itchy & Scratchy headquarters. (Season 2 episode Itchy & Scratchy & Marge)
    • Just Friends
        • Carol presents Bob with three perfume options for Emily’s anniversary present that descend in price. Starting with the most expensive - the three are: Love in the Afternoon, Nights of Passion, Just Friends. (Season 5 episode Taxation without Celebration)
    • Krusty Kologne
        • Krusty the Clown branded cologne that Bart puts on before Krusty comes to dinner. Nontoxic. The smell of the big top! Warning: use in a well-ventilated area. May stain furniture. Prolonged use may cause chemical burns. (Season 3 episode Like Father, Like Clown)
    • Love in the Afternoon
        • Carol presents Bob with three perfume options for Emily’s anniversary present that descend in price. Starting with the most expensive - the three are: Love in the Afternoon, Nights of Passion, Just Friends. (Season 5 episode Taxation without Celebration)
    • Makeup Gun
        • Homer invention. "For the woman that only has 4/5 of a second to get ready.” (Season 2 episode Wizard of Evergreen Terrace)
    • Mantastic
        • Roz's new pheromone perfume - Approved by the Food and Love Administration (Season 8 episode Hungry Heart)
    • Mating Call Cologne
        • In the episode where Jack takes his former employer to court for sexual harassment it is revealed that he wears Mating Call Cologne.
    • Mercy
        • Perfume tested in a focus group conducted by Clarity Consumer Research. (Season 1 episode Little Fear of Lightning)
    • Meryl Streep's Versatility
        • Expensive perfume that Homer buys for Marge with his football gambling winnings. (Season 3 episode Lisa the Greek) Sponsor of the Miss American Girl Pageant. "Smell like Streep for cheap." (Season 4 episode A Streetcar Named Marge)
    • Mid-afternoon Anti-stress Spritz
        • Product sold at La Porte d'Argent (Season 10 episode Door Jam)
    • Milady's Boudoir
        • Martin's date Sherry's perfume (Season 4 episode Dad Loves Sherry, The Boys Just Whine)
    • Miracle Cure
        • Dennis Feinstein's latest fragrance, promoted during the Covid-19 pandemic. "Don't Listen to the Nerds! It works!" (The Parks and Recreation Special)
    • Mizzola
        • Captivating fragrance that Dan's friend Sheila is wearing. (Season 4 episode A Day in the Life)
    • Nice and Easy
        • Eddie tells Betty that his cologne is called Nice and Easy, and he asks her what she’s wearing. She says her perfume is called Go Away.
    • Night Swept
        • Cologne that everybody buys Michael for his birthday. (Season 2 episode Michael's Birthday)
    • Nights of Passion
        • Carol presents Bob with three perfume options for Emily’s anniversary present that descend in price. Starting with the most expensive - the three are: Love in the Afternoon, Nights of Passion, Just Friends. (Season 5 episode Taxation without Celebration)
    • Nolstagia Perfume
        • Chapter 9: 'The Darkness of Mere Being'. Cover: A bottle of Nostalgia perfume, thrown by Laurie at the end of this issue. Chapter 10: 'Two Riders Were Approaching...'. Page 5, panel 4: Nostalgia ad on the fence in the background.
    • Ocean By Calvin Klein
        • Perfume that smells like the beach that Calvin Klein steals from Kramer's idea. (Season 4 episode The Pick)
    • Oil Of Night Fowl
        • Perfume from Duckworld that Howard wrote commercial for..."Only two things touch my feathers, Oil of Night Fowl and him."
    • Ossoh Scent
        • Potent perfume-like substance, available in varying levels of pheromones. According to Rygel, the stronger varieties can make just about anybody irresistible. (Season 1 episode The Flax)
    • Ouder Floers
        • Foxy's perfume. Nigel Powers: "Is that Ouder Floers you're wearing?" Foxy: "Yes, it is." Nigel Powers: "That's how a woman should smell."
    • Peachy Keen
        • Lipstick flavor… "They say women are more likely to buy lipstick if its named after food or sex."
    • Pink Pussy
        • Lipstick flavor… "They say women are more likely to buy lipstick if its named after food or sex."
    • Pitstop By Penelope
        • Perfume advertised on a billboard, based on the character Penelope from Penelope Pitstop, a video arcade game at the Romanian amusement park.
    • Plum Passion
        • Lipstick flavor… "They say women are more likely to buy lipstick if its named after food or sex."
    • Preparation Shumway
        • Cosmetic product made from ALF's carburetor sludge in the alternate reality that his guardian angel shows him, the one where he never crashed into the Tanners' garage (Season 3 episode Stairway to Heaven)
    • Pretension By Calvin Klein
        • New girl at Springfield Elementary School Alex's Perfume. She also drinks iced tea, and has a cell phone. (Season 10 episode Lard of the Dance)
    • Red Rum
        • Lipstick flavor… "They say women are more likely to buy lipstick if its named after food or sex."
    • Running Black
        • Eyeliner advertised in the Fight Club press kit. $15. The eyeliner that naturally washes away when exposed to tears or water.
    • Sex Panther
        • "Sex Panther by Odeon. It's illegal in nine countries. Yep. It's made with bits of real panther. So you know it's good. They've done studies. Sixty percent of the time, it works every time." Eventually made into a real product that (instead of bits of real panther) combines notes of juniper with cedarwood and sandalwood, and even comes in a box that growls when you open it.
    • Shumway Lip Gloss
        • Cosmetic product made from ALF's axle grease in the alternate reality that his guardian angel shows him, the one where he never crashed into the Tanners' garage (Season 3 episode Stairway to Heaven)
    • Shumway Number 5
        • Cosmetic product made from ALF's radiator fluid in the alternate reality that his guardian angel shows him, the one where he never crashed into the Tanners' garage (Season 3 episode Stairway to Heaven)
    • Sluts
        • When Tom pitches Dennis Feinstein his Tommy Fresh cologne, Dennis tells him that some other guy just pitched him another cologne called Sluts. (Season 3 episode Indianapolis)
    • Solid Foundation
        • Foundation advertised in the Fight Club press kit. $15. A semi-natural cover for pocked or stained skin.
    • Sub-reflective Chin Buffing Paste
        • Terry Faith Cosmetic product (Season 1 episode Keepin' the Faith)
    • Summer’s Blossom Eye Shadow
        • Bunny Faye Cosmetics product that Mac sells at Quon Lee’s makeup party. (Season 7 episode If I Were a Rich Man)
    • Terry Faith Cosmetics
        • Cosmetics ALF sells (Season 1 episode Keepin' the Faith)
    • Totally Tech Cosmetics And Fashion EnhancementsZoe's Friend Pilar's New Cosmetic Line. (Season 4 Episode The Story Of O2)
        • Zoe's friend Pilar's new cosmetic line. (Season 4 episode The Story of O2)
    • Toujours
        • French perfume - gift Joe buys Helen for her birthday in Season 2 episode It's Not the Thought, It's the Gift.
    • Transformers
        • Shawn's new scent. It makes you smell how Transformers movies make you feel. (Season 2 episode Rhonda, Diana, Jake and Trent)
    • Vanilla Fella
        • Daniel's cologne that gives his identity away to Victor when they kidnap him.
    • Wayfarer
        • Perfume product created by the motion picture prop house The Earl Hayes Press. "For the Vagabond in Your Soul".
    • Yearning
        • Perfume by Dennis Feinstein that Mark buys for Ann for Valentine's Day. (Season 2 episode Galentine's Day, Season 3 episode Indianapolis)

The Fiction Empire / FictionEmpire.com Concept & Design by MADASIAM Productions © 1999. All Rights Reserved.