HomeSourcesBOGUS BUSINESS BUREAUFictional TimelineThemes
 Exact order 
What started out as the ultimate compendium of fake businesses and products now contains many new categories that don't fit the original description... but we just can't bring ourselves to change the name.
Category Groups
Category Group Filter: PRODUCTS
Category Filter: HARDWARE AND TOOLS

  • Hardware and Tools
    • All Purpose Electric Hammer
        • Homer invention. "For all your pounding needs” (Season 2 episode Wizard of Evergreen Terrace)
    • Bat Carousel Reversal Spray
        • Batman's bat-tool that he uses to outwit Clownface, also known as Krusty the Clown. (Season 14 episode Large Marge)
    • BBQ Pit Kit
        • The wisecracking sidekick from sitcom Toolin' Around is the spokesperson for the BBQ Pit Kit that Homer buys at Mom & Pop Hardware. (Season 10 episode Mom and Pop Art)
    • Breathe-o-Smart
        • Ventilation system. "One of the smartest features of the Breathe-o-Smart is that it cannot possibly go wrong. So. No worries on that score. Enjoy your breathing now, and have a nice day."
    • Brown 25
        • Space-age polymer product: It has the strength of steel, the flexibility of rubber, and the nutritional value of beef stew.
    • Clapco D-29
        • Jerry's door lock, the most impenetrable lock on the market today. It has only one design flaw - the door must be closed. (Season 1 episode The Robbery)
    • Crystal Resonator
        • Tool that Zhaan suggests using to shatter the invasive spider robot creatures on Moya with sound.
    • Drain Bugger
        • Product sold at the State Fair in Springfield - a live bug that eats through drain clogs. (Season 11 episode Saddlesore Gallactica)
    • Dyna-Core
        • "LISTEN TO ME CAREFULLY!" His voice boomed and rolled across the flat jetport acres. Police waited tensely. The crowd shuffled. "I AM CARRYING TWELVE POUNDS OF DYNA-CORE HI-IMPACT PLASTIC EXPLOSIVE IN MY COAT POCKET—THE VARIETY THEY CALL BLACK IRISH. TWELVE POUNDS IS ENOUGH TO TAKE OUT EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE WITHIN A THIRD OF A MILE AND PROBABLY ENOUGH TO EXPLODE THE JETPORT FUEL STORAGE TANKS. IF YOU DON'T FOLLOW MY INSTRUCTIONS TO THE LETTER, I'LL BLOW YOU ALL TO HELL. A GENERAL ATOMICS IMPLODER RING IS SET INTO THE EXPLOSIVE. I HAVE IT PULLED OUT TO HALF-COCK. ONE JIGGLE AND YOU CAN ALL PUT YOUR HEADS BETWEEN YOUR LEGS AND KISS YOUR ASSES GOODBYE."
    • General Atomics Imploder Ring
        • "The imploder ring is gold," he continued. "About two inches in diameter. It looks like a keyring with no keys in it. Attached to it is a slim rod like a mechanical pencil with a G-A trigger device attached to it. The trigger device looks like the eraser on the pencil."
    • Klubeck Nitro-plus No. 2
        • Boggis, Bunce and Bean use the G.I.K. Explosives company's Klubeck Nitro-plus no. 2 dynamite to blow up the Fox family's tree.
    • Kropp's Paint Thinner
        • Product Jessica uses to burn down the house before they leave. (Season 1 episode not slow not bad)
    • The Krusty Crowd Control Barrier
        • Krusty the Clown merchandise. "KRUSTY SEZ - GET BACK" (Season 6 episode Homie the Clown)
    • The Leather Buddy
        • Simpsons version of Leatherman tool Bart buys for Homer for Father’s Day. (Season 17 episode See Homer Run)
    • Lighter Fluid
        • Generic lighter fluid Dennis provides to the members of the Ass Kickers cult to commit suicide by setting themselves on ifre. (Season 10 episode Ass Kickers United: Mac and Charlie Join a Cult)
    • Li'l Chipper
        • Ned throws his gun in a miniature wood chipper to avoid shooting Homer as he saw in his Dead Zone vision - changing the future to one in which Homer destroys the town by pressing the core destruct button at the power plant. (Season 16 episode Treehouse of Horror XV - segment The Ned Zone)
    • Micro-Gauge Plasma Cutter
        • Tool that Five wants to buy at the space station, one with a rotating Thorium-carbide head. (Season 1 episode 4)
    • Miracle Shears
        • Product sold at the State Fair in Springfield that can cut through a car door. (Season 11 episode Saddlesore Gallactica)
    • OmniGogs
        • Product sold at the State Fair in Springfield - eye protection goggles. (Season 11 episode Saddlesore Gallactica)
    • OZME 1000 Ton Weight
        • Farscape version of an ACME product, from Crichton's Looney Toons inspired hallucination, after being knocked unconscious during an altercation with D'Argo. Crichton converts Scorpius to a cartoon and drops a 1000 ton weight on him. (Season 3 episode Revenging Angel)
    • OZME Shovel
        • Farscape version of an ACME product, from Crichton's Looney Toons inspired hallucination, after being knocked unconscious during an altercation with D'Argo. D'Argo, in Wile E. Coyote's role, chasing after Crichton in the Road Runner's role, sets a trap for him by digging a hole with an OZME branded shovel and filling it with radioactive OZME branded froonium. (Season 3 episode Revenging Angel)
    • Paint
        • Free bucket of generic house paint Homer brings home that he got for being confused for the real Krusty the Clown. (Season 6 episode Homie the Clown) The crew of the Radioactive Man movie uses generic paint to horses to look like cows. (Season 7 episode Radioactive Man)
    • Paint Remover
        • Generically named product in the Simpson garage when Bart builds his soap box racer. (Season 3 episode Saturdays of Thunder)
    • Runco Road De-icing Salt
        • Bag of road salt that Henry's disoriented mother is carrying around her front yard. (Season 1 episode Severance)
    • Self-sealing Stem Bolts
        • Starting with a large shipment of surplus Yamok sauce that Quark is unable to sell, Jake and Nog make a succession of trades for various items under the name The NohJay Consortium, including self-sealing stem bolts, ending up with a strip of land on Bajor. (Season 1 episode Progress) Grand Nagus Zak thwarts Quark's plans to sell 100 gross of self-sealing stembolts. (Season 3 episode Prophet Motive)
        • Julian Bashir: It's either a self-sealing stem bolt, or a reverse ratcheting router. I'm just not sure. (Season 5 episode By Inferno's Light)
        • Miles O'Brien: Someone has to teach you officers the difference between a warp matrix flux capacitor and a self-sealing stem bolt. (Season 7 episode What You Leave Behind)
        • Mentioned during the Bajoran Exchange scene, originally from the Deep Space Nine episode Progress. (Season 3 episode Scavengers)
    • Sol Buff
        • Murdock wins big on Wheel of Fortune, including a year's supply of Reptile Wax and the new Sol Buff, "the solar-powered buffer of the '80s to keep that reflection on your car year after year.” (Season 4 episode Wheel of Fortune)
    • Stern-A-Bond
        • Industrial glue in Homer's desk drawer at work that Bart uses to glue novelty props to his face. "Now with death grip", "Warning: in case of accidental ingestion consult a mortician." (Season 9 episode Lost Our Lisa)
    • Uncle T-Bird's 100 Proof Accelerator
        • Fuel T-Bird uses to destroy the Arcade.
    • Whip Balm
        • Product mentioned in the end credits of The Poke of Zorro, the movie that the Simpsons watch at Springfield Googolplex Theaters. "The producers would like to thank: The makers of Whip Balm" (Season 11 episode E-I-E-I-Annoyed Grunt)
    • Yellow Paint
        • Generic paint product Homer uses to track Lenny and Carl to their secret meeting. All he has to do is follow the yellow drip road. (Season 6 episode Homer the Great)
    • Zipp
        • Brand of spray paint that Bart and Martin use when Bart teaches him to act cool, so the other kids won't laugh at him. (Season 2 episode Bart Gets an F)

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