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What started out as the ultimate compendium of fake businesses and products now contains many new categories that don't fit the original description... but we just can't bring ourselves to change the name.
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  • Competitions
    • The 11th Annual Humonga Cucamonga Challenge
        • Pizza eating contest (Season 3 episode True Dromance)
    • 1982 Worldwide Video Arcade Championships
        • Contest where Sam Brenner loses to Eddie "Fireblaster" Plant in Donkey Kong.
    • 1990 Galaxy Camp Rocket Engine Competition
        • Contest both Fargo and Isaac Parrish (Wil Wheaton) competed in when they were kids, seen in flashback (Season 4 episode This One Time at Space Camp…)
    • 1998 Belch-a-Thon
        • Joke Lisa makes about the behavior of the guys in the office one day when she's the only female there. "Join you for what? Is it the 1998 Belch-a-thon? Or maybe it's a symposium on crotch grabbing? Perhaps just a regular, old garden-variety circle—" (Season 4 episode Jackass Junior High)
    • The 2015 UTL Teacher Draft
        • Annual high school teacher draft from Radio City Music Hall. Teaching Center sketch (Season 5 episode Severed Head Showcase)
    • 7th Annual Elvis Impersonators Contest
        • Elvis Presley impersonator contest at Rae's Lounge (Episode All Shook Up)
    • The Alcoholics Anonymous Talent Show
        • Talent show where Jordan and Patrick perform her original song "Jose Mi Amor" (Episode Charlie and Sean Fight Over a Girl)
    • The Amity Island Regatta
        • No description available
    • Annual Police Combat Pistol Competition
        • Competition Hammer wins (Episode They Shoot Hammers, Don't They?)
    • The Annual Ro-boxcar Grand Prix
        • Annual contest at the local high school in Eureka (Season 2 Sight Unseen)
    • Banker of the Year Contest
        • Episode Elly Becomes a Secretary. Jed Clampett takes over Milburn Drysdale's job for one afternoon and wins for him the title of Banker of the Year.
    • Battle Rap
        • Rap contest with host Big Peep-Paroo: "Yo, yo, yo, what up, what up, what up? Welcome to Battle Rap, where we're gonna battle rap every day in the month of February, y'all." (Season 3 episode Les Mis)
    • Beer-tender of The Year Contest
        • Competition at the Duff Days beer festival, featuring Duffman, fresh from his appearance a the House Subcommittee on Teenage Alcoholism. (Season 11 episode Pygmoelion)
    • Berlin String Competition
        • Music contest mentioned in Season 2 episode Duet for Cello and Plane.
    • Birthday Booze-a-thon
        • The guys' annual Olympic event birthday tradition for Der's, featuring various events, including the Tour de Franzia. (Season 2 episode Old Man Ders)
    • California High School Academic Championship
        • The sliders find trophies and awards in Quinn's counterpart's house on the Eggheads world, including a Most Valuable Player award for the California High School Academic Championship, an All-American Academic Excellence award and a TV Physicist of the Year trophy. (Season 1 episode Eggheads)
    • Career Aptitude Normalizing Test
        • Also known as CANT. Test given to the students of Springfield Elementary that determines their future careers. Bart = policeman, Lisa = homemaker. (Season 3 episode Separate Vocations)
    • Carrousel
        • Mandatory rite for all residents of the domed city when they reach the age of 30, during which they are vaporized.
    • Children's Nuclear Design Contest
        • Children's model-building contest. "Design your own power plant" Homer's new enemy Frank Grimes tricks Homer into entering a children's contest sponsored by Mr. Burns, which he wins. (Season 8 episode Homer's Enemy)
    • Cinco De Mayo Halloween Heist 6
        • The team's heist contest that takes place on Cinco de Mayo, which normally takes place on Halloween.
    • Columbus, Ohio's 15th Annual Regional Spelling Bee
        • Guy crashes Columbus, Ohio's 15th Annual Regional Spelling Bee.
    • Contesto De La Dance
        • Dance contest in the movie Tango de la Muerte that Marge and Lisa watch while Homer gets laser eye surgery at Springfield Mall. (Season 11 episode Last Tap Dance in Springfield)
    • Corporate Charity Talent Show
        • Talent show where Matthew demonstrates his sub-par ventriloquist talent but wins by pity vote (Season 4 episode Stupid Holiday Charity Talent Show)
    • The Dark Passenger's Clearinghouse Sweepstakes
        • Joke Dexter makes when he finds definitive proof of MacGregor's guilt - he was now the lucky grand prize winner.
    • Eureka Rocket Daze 2010
        • Space Week contest, an annual 24-hour race to the Moon and back. (Season 4 episode The Story of O2)
    • Eureka Science Fair
        • The school's annual science fair (Season 2 episode Duck Duck Goose)
    • Father Of The Year Contest
        • Episode Perhistoric Munster. Herman has his ego flattered twice by his family. First, Eddie wants to enter him in the Father of the Year Contest.
    • Federal Riverbed Preservation Grant
        • Leslie goes to Washington to apply for a grant. (Season 5 episode Ms. Knope Goes to Washington)
    • Field Of Fire 2046 : Chino Hills Tournament
        • Video game tournament in Chino Hills. Val skips a job interview in order to qualify, and drinks a mysterious energy drink called Impulse 9 in order to win. (Season 1 episode Impulse)
    • First Annual Space Force Games
        • War games pitting Space Force against the Air Force. (Season 1 episode The Spy)
    • First Annual Tricks With Digits Exhibition
        • Contest the guys at the bar come up with - and Lilith wins by sticking her entire fist in her mouth (Season 9 episode 18 I'm Getting My Act Together and Sticking It in Your Face)
    • Frasier Crane's Humongous Ass Contest
        • Contest for photos of Frasier's butt that the guys from the new morning show Carlos and the Chicken create (Season 7 episode Radio Wars)
    • The Game: North South Invitational
        • Banners for previous winners hang in the airplane on the Game world: "VividTek '92", "North South Invitational", "Oslo Exports '95". (Season 3 episode Rules of the Game)
    • Games Of The 1st Dunder Mufflin Olympiad
        • The official name for the office olympics competition. (Season 2 episode Office Olympics)
    • Global Tongo Championships
        • Moogie and Grand Nagus Zak met and fell in love playing Tongo at the Global Tongo Championships. (Season 5 episode Ferengi Love Songs)
    • Guitarmaggedon
        • Fake TMBG cover band member Stormy Black was recruited for after winning a competition called Guitarmaggedon, at least according to what was said at the 4/28/03 show in San Francisco. Stormy's name is evidently a parody of Snowy White, a guitarist known for his work with Thin Lizzy and Pink Floyd.
    • Hallman House 80s Trivia Night
        • The guys host trivia night at their rental house. (Season 5 episode Trivia Pursuits)
    • The Halloween Heist
        • The gang holds their annual contest The Halloween Heist on Halloween night, but they are unable to finish due to Captain Holt's dog Cheddar swallowing the prize - the Inifinitude Gems from the Infinitude Gobbler, the Russian eBay version of the Avengers Infinity Gauntlet. It's identical to the one that Thaboo wore in the movie Avangaboys, with each of the three gems representing one aspect of a heist winner - Amazing, Human and Genius. They have to postpone four months until Valentine's Day, when the contest becomes The Valentine's Day Halloween Heist. But then Scullly swallows the gems, and they have to postpone again, this time until Easter, so the contest eventually becomes The Easter Valentine's Day Halloween Heist. (Season 7 episode Valloweaster)
    • Haven Lighthouse Fund 10k
        • Community run featured in Season 2 episode 11 Business As Usual.
    • Hay King
        • Dwight's Uncle Eldred's amusement park made of hay bales. When Dwight was young, his Uncle Eldred used to build a maze out of hay bales for the kids to play in, and then, at the end of the day he would crown one lucky boy Hay King. (Season 7 WUPHF.com)
    • Holiday Sweepstakes
        • The Simpsons version of Publishers Clearing House - Homer gets a later in the mail telling him he may have already won. (Season 3 episode Mr. Lisa Goes to Washington)
    • Homemaker Magazine’s Clean For a Day Contest New record added 9/23/2021
        • When the Simpsons start getting their neighbor’s mail, Marge wins Homemaker Magazine’s Clean for a Day contest, where the company sends maids to her house to clean. (Season 17 episode Regarding Margie)
    • How Low Will You Go?
        • Gross-out talent contest in the KBBL parking lot that Homer enters to try to win a trip to Maui, sponsored by Grandma Plopwell's Pudding. (Season 10 episode They Saved Lisa's Brain)
    • The Hunger Deans
        • The contest the dean comes up with to assign seats to the History of Ice Cream class in season 4 episode 1.
    • Ice Sculpture Contest
        • Contest from Poochie's last Itchy & Scratchy episode. (Season 8 episode The Itchy & Scratchy & Poochy Show)
    • Indiana Breast Cancer Awareness Triathlon 2009
        • The reason that Chris has a pink swimming cap in his bathroom. He came in 4th. (Season 3 episode Indianapolis)(Season 3 episode Indianapolis)
    • The Jay Sherman Look Alike Contest
        • The winner calls Jay and tells him he's the winner, or at least one of his heads is, or something like that (Season 1 episode Every Doris Has Her Day)
    • Jimmy Jab Games
        • The gang faces a series of office Olympic challenges in the precinct for the second time, this time moderated by Boyle. (Season 7 episode The Jimmy Jab Games II)
    • Junior Mr. & Mrs. Bluth 1982
        • Also referred to as the Mr. Bluth Talent Pageant. Contest George Sr. and Lucille Bluth force their kids to endure, as seen in flashback sequences. (Season 5 episodes The Untethered Sole, Saving for Arraignment Day)
    • The Lexington Thanksgiving Day Dog Show
        • Nationally televised dog show that Captain Holt and Adrian watch at Amy's apartment - and Adrian gambles on. (Season 4 episode Mr. Santiago)
    • Lissepian Lottery
        • Quark is first led to believe that Morn's missing 1,000 bricks of gold pressed latinum came from him winning the Lissepian Lottery, then the Royal family of Luria. Eventually he finds out that it was stolen during the famous Lissepian Mother's Day Heist - while the entire world was celebrating, someone broke into the Central Bank. (Season 6 episode Who Mourns for Morn?)
    • Little Tikes Golly Gee-O-Rama Sweepstakes New record added 10/22/2021
        • Bull wins the Frosted Neon Nuggets Cereal Little Tikes Golly Gee-O-Rama Sweepstakes, selects the mystery prize - a free toupee. (Season 8 episode To Sleep No More)
    • Li'l Starmaker
        • Lisa competes on Krusty's singing competition Li'l Starmaker. "Not affiliated with American Idol, we've never even heard of American Idol." Auditions held at Springfield Mall. "Warning: We're looking for cute not creepy" Homer writes songs for Lisa until she fires him, and he takes on another contestant named Cameron, also known as Johnny Rainbow. The competition takes place at Krustylu Studios. Lisa writes her own song called Always My Dad, so powerful that she makes the Applause-O-Meter cry battery acid. Homer sabotages Cameron by writing the song Privileged Boy. (Season 16 episode A Star is Torn)
    • The Lottery
        • The sliders visit a world that has conquered overpopulation using a Lottery system, simply called The Lottery, administered by a government agency called The Lottery Commission. Citizens play by taking money from an automated teller - the more money you take, the greater chance to win. Winners basically get whatever they want for a day, party at The Lottery Winners Ball that night, and then the next morning they are given a painless death, and their beneficiaries are handsomely rewarded. Anyone that wins but then tries to back out of the arrangement is taken to the Municipal Processing Center for a painful death. (Season 1 Luck of the Draw)
    • The McCormack-Wesley Tester
        • Robot testing device that Powell mentions. "Robots can't knowingly lie, you fool. Now if we had the McCormack-Wesley tester, we could check each individual item in his body within twenty-four to forty-eight hours, but the only two M-W testers existing are on Earth, and they weigh ten tons, are on concrete foundations and can't be moved. Isn't that peachy?" (Story: Catch that Rabbit)
    • Mega Lotto Jackpot
        • Hurley wins the jackpot using the numbers 4-8-15-16-23 & Mega number 42. (Season 1 episode Numbers)
    • The Most Evil Invention In The World Contest
        • The International Mad Scientist Society hosts their annual Most Evil Invention in the World Contest. Entries include a Shrink Ray, a Freeze Ray and Robochomo, a robot that molests children. (Episode 5/20/2017 Host Dwayne Johnson, skit International Mad Scientist Society)
    • National Grammar Rodeo
        • Air-tight and utterly plausible alibi that that Bart creates for him and his friends for use on their parents when they drive across the country, supposedly held at the Sheraton Hotel in Canada. (Season 7 episode Bart on the Road) Lisa was named Head Buckaroo, highlighter in Retrospectives, the Springfield Elementary School yearbook. (Season 7 episode Summer of 4 Ft. 2)
    • National Spelling Competition
        • Frasier's son Frederick wins the national spelling bee, then loses the trophy when Frasier is caught mouthing the letters on video, but gets it back after an unofficial "sudden death" contest out in the alley (Season 9 episode War of the words)
    • Orange Park Acres Tennis Club Bachelor Auction
        • Bachelor Auction featuring Chad and tennis great John McEnroe. (Sketch Bachelor Auction)
    • The Ordeals Of Himiko
        • The ancient Nihongi Chronicles state that: "Within the tomb, one must face ‘the Ordeals of Himiko', cross the chasm of souls, pray to survive the faces of Himiko, behold her army of 10,000 handmaidens, descend upon Himiko's final resting place, unleashing her scourge."
    • Oven Fresh Bakeoff
        • Ovenfresh Industries sponsors the Oven Fresh Bakeoff contest at the Springfield Convention Center, brought to you by the Ovenfresh Flour family of products, including Li'l Fatso Cupcakes, Drizzlers Gravies, American Pride Radar-Guided Missile Systems and Quetzalcoatl's Choice Mexican Food. The winner becomes the new face of of Auntie Ovenfresh. Marge: Clever presentation is as important as taste. "Warning: First ten rows may get fat" (Season 16 episode All's Fair in Oven War)
    • Patriots Of Tomorrow Essay Contest
        • Contest sponsored by Reading Digest magazine that Lisa enters. (Season 3 episode Mr. Lisa Goes to Washington)
    • The Pie-Mary
        • The Pie Mary is a Southern Indiana tradition, where Congressional candidates' wives face off in a pie-baking contest. (Season 7 episode Pie-Mary)
    • Place-setting Contest
        • Lisa competes in the Place-setting contest at the Springfield County Fair. (Season 15 episode Simple Simpson)
    • The Platform Classic
        • Annual race through an obstacle course on Castilon. Yeager comes out of retirement to challenge his brother Marcus Speedstar. (Season 1 episode The Platform Classic)
    • The Process
        • The name of the program used to determine who qualifies to go to The Offshore.
    • The Race Of The Century
        • A-Train vs. Shockwave at Hartsdale stadium. (Season 1 episode Get Some)
    • Ritman High School Talent Show Fundraiser
        • After dance lessons from Ashley Too, Rachel competes in her high school talent show. (Season 5 episode Rachel, Jack and Ashley Too)
    • Rock The Slope
        • Mr. Peanutbutter proposes challenges the governor to a ski race down Devil's Mountain for the top seat in the government of the state of California. (Season 4 episode See Mr. Peanutbutter Run)
    • Rubber Duck Race
        • Although Homer makes several attempts to cheat - which he calls "Operation Slight Edge", Ned Flanders' duck comes in first in the Rubber Duck Race at Game at Reverend Lovejoy's Church Fundraiser, winning him a feMac computer, the computer designed just for women, which he gives to Marge in exchange for her babysitting Rod and Todd while he attends the Left Handers Convention. The "You've got mail" voice is Susan Sarandon. (Season 17 episode Bart Has Two Mommies)
    • S.C.A.T.
        • Student Career Assessment Test, designed to point students in the right direction. (Season 3 episode Have an Ice Day)
    • SFIT Showcase
        • San Fransokyo Institute of Technology's annual convention at its Exposition Hall, where up-and-coming geniuses showcase new creations to receive acceptance into the university.
    • SoCal Shoot the World
        • Gaming tournament that Nathan's friend Derek/Bear Claw mentions to Luke at Nathan's funeral. (Season 1 episode The Funeral)
    • Spellympics
        • Lisa represents her school at the Spellympics. Also known as the 34th Spellympiad. (Season 14 episode I'm Spelling as Fast as I Can)
    • Springfield Demolition Derby
        • When Homer calms down after having his jaw wired shut, Marge gets bored and ends up competing in the Demolition Derby. "As seen in Faces of Death III" (Season 13 episode Jaws Wired Shut)
    • Springfield Retirement Castle Talent Show
        • Marge calls it the old folks talent show. (Season 12 episode Tennis the Menace)
    • The Starfleet Bridge Tournament
        • Jean-Luc Picard won The Silver Spade Award for The Starfleet Bridge Tournament on Riza. (From the Picard family album)
    • Super Barto Jackpot Drawing
        • Lottery Bart holds in the Simpsons basement, using the family's clothes dryer. (Season 8 episode Homer's Phobia)
    • Tactona 420
        • Remote control car race at TelAmeriCorp. Winner gets an entire folder of leads to themselves and the windfall of commissions that come with it. (Season 7 episode Tactona 420)
    • Tactona 69
        • Qualifying race for the Tactona 420, the remote control car race at TelAmeriCorp. (Season 7 episode Tactona 420)
    • Tasty Pastry Contest
        • When Wilma and Betty enter the Tasty Pastry Contest, but the measles keep them going to the bake-off. Fred and Barney use Brand B Flour to make the cake while impersonating Betty and Wilma.
    • The TelAmerican Office Basketball Tournament Game
        • Alice organizes a 3-on-3 basketball tournament, winner gets to drive the company car, a Dodge Dart, for a two-day one-night stay at one of the T.A.C. timeshares in Reno. (Season 4 episode The One Where the Guys Play Basketball and Do the Friends)
    • Tesla School Biotech Dive
        • Diving contest in which novice divers controlled by neural-muscle remote. (Season 3 What Goes Around, Comes Around)
    • THC
        • College exam. Stands for: Testing for Higher Credentials - a parody of the SAT. THC for Tetrahydrocannabinol.
    • The Project Prometheus Training Center
        • As part of Weyland Corp's application process, applicants are observed by Andrea Bishop as they must unlock 5 tests to be recruited in Project Prometheus. The tests can be taken multiple times to increase the applicant's score advantage. (from the online HTML5 game featured on the official Prometheus website)
    • Tournament of the Dawn
        • Everlight is a holiday in Mythic Quest video game that the team also celebrates in the office. It's kind of like New Year's, but way better, with great food and a LARP fighting tournament called Tournament of the Dawn. (Season 1 episode Everlight)
    • United Nations School Talent Show
        • Jay's son Marty's school talent show. "Sheer torture" - Amnesty international (Season 1 episode A Day at the Races and a Night at the Opera).
    • The Valentine's Day Halloween Heist
        • The gang holds their annual contest The Halloween Heist on Halloween night, but they are unable to finish due to Captain Holt's dog Cheddar swallowing the prize - the Inifinitude Gems from the Infinitude Gobbler, the Russian eBay version of the Avengers Infinity Gauntlet. It's identical to the one that Thaboo wore in the movie Avangaboys, with each of the three gems representing one aspect of a heist winner - Amazing, Human and Genius. They have to postpone four months until Valentine's Day, when the contest becomes The Valentine's Day Halloween Heist. But then Scullly swallows the gems, and they have to postpone again, this time until Easter, so the contest eventually becomes The Easter Valentine's Day Halloween Heist. (Season 7 episode Valloweaster)
    • Weyerhammer Paper Paper Airplane Contest
        • Contest sponsored by Weyerhammer Paper in an effort to get them to sell more of their new product. (Season 9 episode Paper Airplane)
    • The World Famous Jack Rabbit Slim's Twist Contest
        • Mia Wallace: I do believe Marsellus Wallace, my husband, your boss, told you to take me out and do whatever I wanted. Now I wanna dance, I wanna win. I want that trophy, so dance good.

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