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 Exact order 
What started out as the ultimate compendium of fake businesses and products now contains many new categories that don't fit the original description... but we just can't bring ourselves the change the name.
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Category Group Filter: MEDIA-PRINT
Category Filter: BOOKS-INSTRUCTIONAL

  • Books-Instructional
    • The 10 Do's And 500 Don'ts Of Knife Safety
        • Book that Flanders shows Bart at the Junior Campers meeting. (Season 5 episode Boy Scouts N the Hood)
    • 10 Haunted Graveyards
        • A ghost survival guide by Mike Enslin.
    • 10 Haunted Hotels
        • A ghost survival guide by Mike Enslin.
    • 10 Haunted Lighthouses
        • A ghost survival guide by Mike Enslin.
    • 10 Haunted Mansions
        • A ghost survival guide by Mike Enslin. Mike's friend at the post office tells Mike he read it.
    • 101 Spank-ternatives
        • A now discredited book on raising children that gives Marge the idea for Simpson family court. (Season 15 episode The Way We Weren't)
    • 101 Ways To Pleasure A Woman
        • Book Brian buys Casey for her birthday (Season 6 episode Portrait of the Con Artist as a Young Man)
    • 3rd Child's The Charm!
        • Parenting book that one of the mothers is reading at Not Responsible for Injuries Park, where Marge takes Maggie to play. (Maggie Simpson in Playdate with Destiny)
    • The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Pre-Teens

        • Book that Bart reads while taking the drug Focusyn for his ADD. (Season 11 episode Brother's Little Helper)
    • Am I Disabled?
        • Book Homer reads that includes various conditions that qualify as disabled, including Carpal Tunnel Syndrome, Lumber lung, Juggler's Despair and Achy-breaky Pelvis and Hyper-obesity. (Season 7 episode King-Size Homer)
    • American Automobile Guide Book 1982
        • Book Milhouse finds in the glove compartment of the rental car that Bart and his friends take on their road trip. (Season 7 episode Bart on the Road)
    • Animation For Dummies
        • Book in the Books for Dummies section of the Festival of Books. (Season 12 episode Insane Clown Poppy)
    • Are You Who You Want To Be
        • One of the books included on the publisher's list of upcoming books that Emerson researches in season 1 episode 7 Smell of Success.
    • Backdoors To Citizenship
        • Book Lisa reads trying to help Apu, who is about to bed departed. (Season 7 episode Much App About Nothing)
    • Be A Winner With The Casino Gambler
        • Reference book by Ed Potter created by the motion picture prop house The Earl Hayes Press.
    • Be Your Own Wind Keeper
        • Book Phoebe shares with Monica and Rachel about female empowerment. (Season 2 episode The One Where Eddie Won't Go)
    • Bean Bag Furniture Repair
        • Book Troy is reading while repairing his bean bag chair, when he receives a phone call from his agent, MacArthur Parker. (Season 7 episode A Fish Called Selma)
    • The Beauty of Tight Binding
        • Book in Rachel's apartment. (Season 2 episode Farewell, My Bunny)
    • Bee Basics From A To ZZZZ: Keeping Bees The Safe Way
        • Book Chuck is seen reading in Season 2 Episode 1 Bzzzzzzzzz! "Recommended by beekeepers nationwide"
    • The Bible Book of Remodeling Kitchens and Bathrooms
        • Chapter 19. Book in the pipeline from the good people of Tender Branson Enterprises, a mistake that Tender Branson wants to clean up before the plane goes down or before the flight recorder tape runs out.
    • Blame It On Yourself
        • One of the books included on the publisher's list of upcoming books that Emerson researches in season 1 episode 7 Smell of Success.
    • Body Disposal For Dummies
        • Joke Joe makes about his shopping list, a list of items straight out of Body Disposal for Dummies. (Season 1 episode Maybe)
    • Bordello Repair Vol. 1
        • Romantic book at the Books! Books! And additional Books! bookstore. (Season 6 episode Grandpa vs. Sexual Inadequacy)
    • Brazil's Most Haunted Locker Rooms
        • Book from Season 2 episode 2 No One Can Replace Her - includes details about the hauntings of the University of Brazil's women's basketball locker rom, Pele's walk-in closet and Childrens' Hospital. Appears again in Season 3 episode 5 Nip-Tug.
    • A Brief Guide To The Singularity
        • Book Cooper finds at Sonja's apartment (Season 3 episode Playtest)
    • The Buddha Advises On Relationships
        • Psychology book by Bobbi Aggarwal created by the motion picture prop house The Earl Hayes Press.
    • Buddhism for Dummies
        • The junior monk hands Bobby a book called "Buddhism for Dummies", though the book more closely resembles the similar "Idiot's Guide to..." series. (Season 4 episode Won't You Pimai Neighbor?)
    • Canine Surgery
        • Book Homer reads when he considers doing the surgery on Santa's Little Helper himself. (Season 3 episode Dog of Death)
    • Caring For Your New Dog
        • Book Duncan brings home with his new dog.
    • Caring For Your New Fish
        • Book Duncan brings home with his new fish.
    • Cerebral Interrogatory Enclosure V3.8.80 Extended Subsystem Technical Operations Manual
        • No description available
    • A Child's Guide To Cons
        • Bart gets a book of cons for kids that includes all the classic cons, such as the Pigeon Drop, the Ear Wigger, the Brillstein Grab, and a father/son scam called the Albany Ham Scam. (Season 12 episode The Great Money Caper)
    • Christianity for Dummies
        • Book in the Books for Dummies section of the Festival of Books. (Season 12 episode Insane Clown Poppy)
    • The Complete Fool's Guide To Brain Control
        • Book created by the motion picture prop house The Earl Hayes Press.
    • The Complete Fool's Guide To Exorcism
        • Book by Alex Goldenberg created by the motion picture prop house The Earl Hayes Press.
    • Comprehensive Guide To The World Of Opera
        • Book Carla picks up to learn more about the opera (Season 7 episode 14 I Kid You Not)
    • Coping With Loss
        • Book that the Springfield Cat Burglar slips into Bart's arms when he steals the Simpsons' portable TV. (Season 5 episode Homer the Vigilante)
    • Cow Tipping For Dummies
        • Book in the Books for Dummies section of the Festival of Books. (Season 12 episode Insane Clown Poppy)
    • Depression, Anxiety And Death
        • Frasier's new book on tape that he mentions when he announces his alternative plans for the evening, after deciding not to attend the reunion. Frasier: "Tonight, I'll be coming back home and spending the evening with Daphne, doing some light housework and listening to my new book on tape: Depression, Anxiety and Death, as read by the author himself, Stanislav Monk. (Season 6 episode Frasier's Curse)
    • Destinations: The New Science of Self Renewal
        • The book of the Church of the Collective
, The Deep's new church. (Season 1 episode The Big Ride)
    • Dining After Midnight In New York
        • Travel guide book one of the gremlins is reading in the lobby while they're all waiting to get out.
    • Divorce For Dummies
        • The name of the book that Roz's new boyfriend was reading when they met at the bookstore (Season 7 episode Big Crane on Campus)
    • Double Negative: What You Shouldn't Not Know
        • Book a young Olive Snook reads in a flashback (2-11 Window Dressed to Kill)
    • Double Your IQ Or No Money Back
        • Guy selling books door to door to guy that doesn't look very smart, saying, "Well, I dunno.. Okay, sounds good to me."
    • Dr. Marvin Monroe's Guide To Etiquette
        • Book Bart is given at birthday party at Wall E. Weasel's. (Season 3 episode Radio Bart)
    • Dying For Dummies
        • Homer leaves Marge after seeing her kissing her ex-boyfriend Artie Ziff. He and Lenny ride the Suck-U-Bus Line to West Springfield, which Lisa observes is three times the size of Texas. The pair go to work in the West Springfield oil patch. Homer's family finds him when he gets a library card in and checks out ten books on oil rigging and one book called Dying for Dummies. (Season 13 episode Half-Decent Proposal)
    • Eating Sandwiches For Dummies
        • Book in the Books for Dummies section of the Festival of Books. (Season 12 episode Insane Clown Poppy)
    • El Diablo Nuclear Generating Facility Operating Manual
        • The residents of the anti-technology world worship an old handbook from a nuclear plant. (Season 4 episode Slide by Wire)
    • El Manual De Arma Y Uniforme De G.I. Joe
        • Spanish language version of the Cobra Guide to G.I. Joe uniforms, weapons and vehicles that they bad guys in Sierra Gordo are reading (Issue #92 Thunderclap)
    • Failure: An American Success Story
        • Tom's bestselling book, in which he outlines seven different types of successful people. You can be an Andy. An April. A Ben. A Leslie. A Ron. A Donna. Or his personal favorite, a Tom. But what do you definitely not want to be? A Garry! That's right. Do not be a Garry. (Season 7 episode One Last Ride)
    • Families in Conflict: Healing The Rift
        • 
Book by Dr. Justin Bishop MD with a new forward from Quincy Paglaro that Clark reads. According to IMDB, Justin Bishop was the assistant property master for the series, while Quincy Paglaro was the second assistant camera operator.(Season 2 episode Insurgence)
    • Finding and Winning Your Perfect Mate
        • Instructional pad by Dr. Jennings Rain that Kira finds in Odo's quarters, from when he thought he was going to have to spend the rest of his life as a solid. (Season 5 episode In Purgatory's Shadow)
    • Firefighter's Handbook
        • Instruction manual that Ned consults when Bart shoots down Major League Baseball's satellite. (Season 11 episode Brother's Little Helper)
    • Fishing With The Pro
        • Instructional book by The Pro created by the motion picture prop house The Earl Hayes Press.
    • The Flag-5 Benefits Enrollment Guide
        • Onboarding packet for new members of the Flag-5. (Season 2 episode In the Woods)
    • Gay Guide to Springfield
        • Travel guide with bad information that leads a gay gentleman to Moe's. (Season 11 episode Days of Wine and D'oh'ses)
    • Get Out Of The Spotlight
        • Tahani's book that she writes when she turns over a new leaf and tries to help people after not dying (Season 3 episode Everything Is Bonzer!)
    • GGG: Good, Giving and Game
        • Book in Rachel's apartment. (Season 2 episode Farewell, My Bunny)
    • Good Girls, Bad Boys
        • Lilith's new book that she promotes on Tea Time with Brenda, a local women's talk show on Channel 13. Lilith wanted to call it "A Cross-sectional Study of Control Group Females With a Tendency Towards Self-Destruction Vis-A-Vis Damaging Relationships With Members of the Opposite Sex" (Season 8 episode 18 Severe Crane Damage)
    • Guide To Infantile Distress
        • Book by Dr. Washburn's Asbestos Pills that Abe consults while babysitting Maggie. (Season 4 episode Marge Gets a Job)
    • Guitar Instruction in 99 Easy Lessons
        • Book that came with the electric guitar Homer and Marge bought for Bart. (Season 3 episode The Otto Show)
    • The Hannibal Smith How To Manual
        • Fake book Face mentions in a sarcastic remark.
    • Having Babies
        • Book ALF studies up on in the elevator before helping a pregnant woman give birth (Season 2 episode ALF's Christmas Special)
    • Help! My Baby's Ugly
        • Parenting book that one of the mothers is reading at Not Responsible for Injuries Park, where Marge takes Maggie to play. (Maggie Simpson in Playdate with Destiny)
    • Here, Have A Rainbow
        • Book by Dr. Honey Snow (Season 2 episode You Scratch My Book…)
    • The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy Guide Mark II
        • The second, more powerful version of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy created by Infinidim Enterprises for the Vogons to finish their job of destroying the Earth once and for all.
        • "The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy is a powerful organ. Indeed, its influence is so prodigious that strict rules have had to be drawn up by its editorial staff to prevent its misuse. So none of its field researchers are allowed to accept any kind of services, discounts or preferential treatment of any kind in return for editorial favours unless: a) they have made a bona fide attempt to pay for a service in the normal way; b) their lives would be otherwise in danger; c) they really want to. Since invoking the third rule always involved giving the editor a cut, Ford always preferred to much about with the first two."
    • How Dare You Not Breastfeed
        • Parenting book that one of the mothers is reading at Not Responsible for Injuries Park, where Marge takes Maggie to play. (Maggie Simpson in Playdate with Destiny)
    • How To Be A Really Nice King
        • King Richard's new book that he's promoting in a faraway land (Season 1 episode Robin Hood)
    • How To Be A Spy
        • Book the kids find in the safe house, author unknown.
    • How To Be An Artistic Painter
        • Book by Stacy Meichtry created by the motion picture prop house The Earl Hayes Press.
    • How To Cook In 30 Easy Lessons
        • Episode The Grass Is Always Greener. Book Mike reads in order to help Marcia earn her cooking badge.
    • How To Develop Your Psychic Awareness In One Afternoon
        • Book ALF orders (Season 1 episode Wild Thing)
    • How To Get Along With Everyone
        • Self help book Steve claims to have written. He didn't write it by himself though, he wrote it with "this other asshole/jerk off" (source: A Wild and Crazy Guy)
    • How To Get Rich Writing Cartoons
        • Book by John Swartzwelder that Lisa reads for inspiration writing a new Itchy & Scratchy cartoon. (Season 4 episode The Front)
    • How To Have A Normal Conversation
        • Book Doug reads in the teachers' lounge.
    • How To Make Money Off The Mentally Ill
        • Self help book Steve claims to have written (source: A Wild and Crazy Guy)
    • How To Make Your Own Pop-up Book
        • One of the pop-up books Emerson and the baker find in the bookstore Pop-up Palace in season 1 episode 7 Smell of Success. "Step by step instructions anyone can follow!"
    • How To Pick Up Trashy Women
        • The most amazing book you'll ever read. Book that Lane's brother orders.
    • How To Pick-up That Special Someone
        • Book that Garth finds in Benjamin's apartment.
    • How To Please Your Wife: 100 Tips To Take Your Sex Life From Blah To Ahhhh
        • Amy finds a package delivered to the precinct with Swole Bod Whey Protein and a book called "How to Please your Wife: 100 Tips to Take Your Sex Life From Blah to Ahhhh" that she suspects belong to Terry, but Terry denies it.
    • How To Repair Your Credit
        • Book by L. Meichtry created by the motion picture prop house The Earl Hayes Press.
    • How To Spot Problems In A Marriage From 100 Miles Away
        • The name of the book written by the marriage counselor that Michael brings to stay in Eleanor's house in Season 1 episode 4.
    • How To Survive A Sharknado And Other Unnatural Disasters
        • Fin and April travel to New York City to promote April's book about the Los Angeles sharknado.
    • How To Talk To a Drunk Father
        • Book Lisa reads on the bus when Bart hits her with a water balloon. (Season 15 episode Catch 'Em if You Can)
    • How To Tunnel Out of Prison
        • Book Homer gets from the jail library cart. Instead of using it to learn how to tunnel out of prison however, he bashes the library cart attendant over the head and makes a run for it. (Season 9 episode Dumbbell Indemnity)
    • How To: Fit In! Have Everybody Like You! And Always Be Happy!
        • Book of instructions that Emmet reads. Step 1: Breathe. Step 2: Greet the day, smile and say, "Good morning, City!" Step 3: Exercise. Step 4: Shower, and always be sure to keep the soap out of your eye. Step 5: Shave your face. Step 6: Brush your teeth. Step 7: Comb your hair. Step 8: Wear clothes. Step 9: Eat a complete breakfast with all the special people in your life.
    • Improvised Interrogation Handbook
        • Department of the Army technical manual, visible in Sid's room. The number on the document, "TM 31-210" corresponds to an actual army manual, "Improvised Munitions Handbook". Apparently, early releases of the movie show the correct title, while in later releases, it became "Improvised Interrogation Handbook".
    • I'm Just A Bad Boy
        • One of the books included on the publisher's list of upcoming books that Emerson researches in season 1 episode 7 Smell of Success.
    • Keep It In The Family: A Guide To Generational Wealth
        • Book by the Invest Twins, incorrectly called the Incest Twins (2018 episode with host Liev Schreiber)
    • The Kidnapper's Guide to Manhattan Private Schools
        • Joke Phoebe makes about the book she's reading.
    • Learn Carpentry with The Beatles
        • Beatles branded product in Ned Flanders' secret Beatles memorabilia room. "I'm fixing a hole... in my drywall" (Season 14 episode The Bart of War)
    • Leviathan For Dummies
        • Fake book that Crichton makes a joke about. D'Argo: "We need Pilot's help. He's got to instruct us through the process manually.” Crichton: "Yeah, well, I don't think Pilot's in a 'Leviathan for Dummies' kind of mood right now.” (Season 2 episodes: The Way We Weren't)
    • Life Races
        • Book by Dr. Evan Maslansky that Gardner gave to Aunt Maggie that she brings up on their way home from the police station… Life is a series of races and you have to triumph over each one before you proceed to the next. When you find a hurdle in one of your life races, you can either remove it or choose another life race.
    • Life: Grab It, It's Yours
        • Book by John Gold (Season 7 episode The Big Sleep)
    • Look Door, Get Key: A Guide To Writing Adventure Games
        • Book in Stefan's bedroom. (Black Mirror: Bandersnatch)
    • Lose Your Accent in Thirty Years
        • Book that a young Cookie Kwan reads at Camp Land-a-man. (Season 15 episode The Way We Weren't)
    • Love Soufflé: How To Cook Up Romance In Your Life
        • Book by Jacque La Frack created by the motion picture prop house The Earl Hayes Press.
    • Math Safari
        • With Lisa's restraining order preventing Bart from being in the same building, Willy teaches bart in his shed. (Season 16 episode On a Clear Day I Can't See My Sister)
    • Megatronics: The 48 Tips To Corporate Success
        • Book by Stark Richdale, taught in his Successmanship 101 class at the Springfield Extension School. "The force that runs through the universe that used to be called God" (Season 14 episode C.E. D'oh)
    • Mesmerism For The Masses
        • Book by W.C. Florentine that the Klan is using that Will discovers after busting up their hideout at Fred's. (Season 1 episode This Extraordinary Being)
    • A Military History Lover's Guide To The Napoleonic War
        • History book created by the motion picture prop house The Earl Hayes Press.
    • The Mind and The Matter: How You Can Achieve The Ultimate Power of Concentration
        • Book that Henry gives Mr. Beechcroft to make up for spilling coffee on his coat earlier in the morning. (Season 2 episode The Mind and the Matter)
    • Mindgame Rulebook
        • On the Egghead world, Quinn's counterpart is a star Mindgame player - some sort of bizarre hybrid of basketball, Family Feud and chess. When Quinn imitates his double, he has to participate in the 27th National Mindgame Finals between the University of California Eggheads and the MIT Beavers. To prepare, he reads the Mindgame Rulebook: How to Play / How to Win by Stephen Hawking. (Season 1 episode Eggheads)
    • Moby Dick for Dummies
        • Book in the Books for Dummies section of the Festival of Books. (Season 12 episode Insane Clown Poppy)
    • Networking Programming for Dummies
        • Book in the Books for Dummies section of the Festival of Books. (Season 12 episode Insane Clown Poppy)
    • The New Patriot's Pop-up Book
        • One of the pop-up books Emerson and the baker find in the bookstore Pop-up Palace in season 1 episode 7 Smell of Success. "A three dimensional instructional telling you everything you want to know about building bombs of all shapes and sizes."
    • Nole's Rules of Games
        • Book on the shelf in the library at Fairfield High School, the high school in Fayette County, Kentucky that Beth Harmon attends after being adopted by the Wheatley family. (episode Exchanges)
    • Overcome Childhood Fears New record added 6/7/2021
        • A ten-week program, well worth the $4,000, that Homer and Marge steal from Sit 'n' Weep, a child psychologist on Psychiatry Row. (Season 17 episode The Girl Who Slept Too Little)
    • Owning Your Okay-ness
        • Self-help book Homer reads when Marge accuses him of eating all her brownies. (Season 5 episode Bart's Inner Child)
    • Rand McNally Guide To The Stars
        • Map ALF carried in the glove box of his spaceship (Season 1 episode Weird Science)
    • Real World Krav Maga
        • Book in Rachel's apartment. (Season 2 episode Farewell, My Bunny)
    • Rope Bondage
        • Book in Rachel's apartment. (Season 2 episode Farewell, My Bunny)
    • RS Express Spy Plane Instruction Manual
        • Instructions for flying the spy plane, author unknown.
    • The Smell of Success: A Layman's Guide to Satisfaction Through Olfaction
        • Book about how smells can change your life in season 1 episode 7 Smell of Success.
    • The Stuff Yourself Sick Diet
        • Dr. Nick Riviera's diet book that he sells at the Festival of Books. (Season 12 episode Insane Clown Poppy)
    • Supernatural Shadow Guide
        • Joke Audrey makes about a book she doesn't really have in season 1 episode 8 Ain't No Sunshine.
    • Thin By Third Grade
        • Book Lisa reads in the library after the girls at school make fun of her for having a big butt. (Season 16 Sleeping with the Enemy)
    • Travel Book
        • Book Milhouse finds in the glove compartment of the rental car that Bart and his friends take on their road trip. (Season 7 episode Bart on the Road)
    • TVA Chronomonitoring Handbook New record added 6/9/2021
        • Handbook visible during the closing credits. (Season 1 episode Glorious Purpose)
    • The Ultimate Guide To Throwing A Garden Party
        • Written by Jim Halpert under pen name James Trickington.
        • Book by James Trickington, written by Jim to fuck with Dwight. (Season 8 episode Garden Party)
    • The Vanilla Girl's Guide To Kink
        • Book in Rachel's apartment. (Season 2 episode Farewell, My Bunny)
    • Watch Repair
        • Book Homer and Milhouse read to fix their magic stopwatch. (Season 15 episode Treehouse of Horror XIV - segment Stop the World I Want to Goof Off)
    • Wayward Pines Welcome Manual
        • Document new residents of Wayward Pines receive to help them acclimate to their new environment.
    • What To Expect When You're A Male Seahorse Expecting… Which Is A Thing
        • Book by Dr. Pippi Campus (Season 3 episode 4 Fish Out of Water)
    • What To Expect When You're Expecting A Baby Leviathan
        • Crichton's joke about a fake book when the crew finds out Moya is pregnant. (Season 1 episode They've Got a Secret)
    • What's the Fun in Playing it Safe
        • One of the books included on the publisher's list of upcoming books that Emerson researches in season 1 episode 7 Smell of Success.
    • Who Made that Barrel? You Did! New record added 5/28/2021
        • Book Mrs. Krabappel gives Bart to read for his role as town Cooper in the Medieval festival. (Season 16 episode The Father, the Son and the Holy Guest Star)
    • The Wilderness Explorers Handbook
        • Scouting handbook for Wilderness Explorers such as Russell.
    • Winning Through Humiliation
        • Self help book by Dr. Robert Zinger (Steve Martin's All Commercials TV special)
    • Your Gimmicky Restaurant
        • Instructional book by Bennigan and Fuddrucker that Moe reads before opening his own family themed restaurant. (Season 7 Bart Sells His Soul)
    • You're Doing Everything Wrong
        • Parenting book that Marge reads at Not Responsible for Injuries Park, where she takes Maggie to play. (Maggie Simpson in Playdate with Destiny)
    • You're Not So Bad
        • Book that Tahani's ex-boyfriend - and current love interest - reads. (Season 3 episode The Snowplow)

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