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 Exact order 
What started out as the ultimate compendium of fake businesses and products now contains many new categories that don't fit the original description... but we just can't bring ourselves to change the name.
Category Groups
Category Group Filter: ENTERTAINMENT
Category Filter: AMUSEMENT PARK ATTRACTIONS

  • Amusement Park Attractions
    • The Astonishing Rubber Check
        • Attraction at Freak-E-Mart, when Apu turns Kwik-E-Mart into a haunted house. (Season 9 episode Lisa the Simpson)
    • The Beeramid
        • Attraction at Duff Gardens. 22 immigrant laborers died during its construction. (Season 4 episode Selma's Choice)
    • Behold Frostillicus: The Frozen Man
        • Attraction at Freak-E-Mart, when Apu turns Kwik-E-Mart into a haunted house. Actually Springfield Retirement Castle resident Jasper Beardly. (Season 9 episode Lisa the Simpson)
    • Blast Off
        • Ride at Pacific Playland where Wichita and Little Rock get stuck.
    • Blood Bath
        • Theme park attraction listed on the "Rides Not Operating Today" sign when the Simpsons arrive at Itchy & Scratchy Land. Full list: Head Basher, Blood Bath, Mangler, Nurse's Station. (Season 6 episode Itchy & Scratchy Land)
    • The Born On The Fourth Of July Bumper Chairs
        • Attraction at Oliver Stoneland. It's 90 solid seconds of clanking metal and bitter regret. You need to ride this one a number of times to fully feel the frustration and anguish of the Vietnam vet. (Episode Sarah Jessica Parker)
    • Bounty Hunt
        • Westward narrative in which guests join the sheriff and embark on a bounty hunt for a wanted criminal.
        • The Mystery Machine passes a billboard advertising the amusement park Bubbleland, featuring the octopus Squiddly Diddly from The Atom Ant/Secret Squirrel Show.
    • The Can of Mystery
        • Attraction at Freak-E-Mart, when Apu turns Kwik-E-Mart into a haunted house. (Season 9 episode Lisa the Simpson)
    • Civil War Land
        • Walt's unrealized Civil War theme park, featuring the attractions: Donald's Slave Auction, Uncle Mickey's Cabin, Civil War Land and Goofy's Triage. (Lindsay Lohan and Pearl Jam episode April 15, 2006 TV Funhouse: Disney vault)
    • The Civil War
        • Einmen Entertainment's The Arcade is the world's cutting edge, state of the art family entertainment center, featuring role-playing activities The Civil War and Emergency, as well as the Roman Spa for relaxation. "There are no limits at the Arcade", "The funnest place in the world" (Season 5 episode A Thousand Deaths)
    • Cube Country
        • Neighborhood in Blocko Land, the amusement park made entirely of Blocko brand assembly fun blocks. (Season 12 episode Hungry, Hungry Homer)
    • The Dark Age Dungeon Ride
        • The religious group known as the Assembly of the Oracle World has a theme park called Oracle World, featuring an IMAX movie called The World in Six Days and a ride called The Dark Age Dungeon Ride, with new music this year by John Tesh. (Season 4 episode Prophets and Loss)
    • Dark Cyclone
        • Amusement park ride that a young Elijah rides.
    • The Dinner Party
        • An old Westward narrative that included a professor who quoted Shakespeare's plays and cannibalism.
    • Dolphins Ahoy Extravaganza
        • Theme park attraction at Oceanland. (Season 1 episode The Female of the Species)
    • Donald's Slave Auction
        • Walt's unrealized Civil War theme park, featuring the attractions: Donald's Slave Auction, Uncle Mickey's Cabin, Civil War Land and Goofy's Triage. (Lindsay Lohan and Pearl Jam episode April 15, 2006 TV Funhouse: Disney vault)
    • Double Helix
        • A DNA shaped slide, attraction at the Knowledgeum, a new hands on learning environment in Springfield. (Season 9 episode This Little Wiggy)
    • Duff's Designated Drivers Rockin' Fun Zone
        • Holding pen for designated drivers at the Duff Days beer festival. (Season 11 episode Pygmoelion)
    • Earthquake Simulator
        • Attraction at the Knowledgeum, a new hands on learning environment in Springfield. (Season 9 episode This Little Wiggy)
    • Eerie Canals
        • Haunted water slide ride at.the water themed amusement park next door to Randy's father's graveyard.
    • Efcot Center
        • Efcot Center, parody of Disney World's Epcot Center, is presented by Eastern Airlines. "Eastern Airlines presents The World of Tomorrow” (Season 14 Special Edna)
    • The Eliminator
        • Physical challenge at Rommelwood, Bart and Lisa's new military school, required to pass the academic year. A 150-foot hand-over-hand crawl across a 60-gauge hemp-jute line with a blister factor of 12. The rope is suspended a full 40 feet over a solid British acre of old-growth Connecticut Valley thorn bushes. "Gentlemen, welcome to Flavor Country." (Season 8 episode The Secret World of Lisa Simpson)
    • Emergency
        • Einmen Entertainment's The Arcade is the world's cutting edge, state of the art family entertainment center, featuring role-playing activities The Civil War and Emergency, as well as the Roman Spa for relaxation. "There are no limits at the Arcade", "The funnest place in the world" (Season 5 episode A Thousand Deaths)
    • The Enormous Pendulum
        • Attraction at the Knowledgeum, a new hands on learning environment in Springfield. (Season 9 episode This Little Wiggy)
    • The Final Burial Of Salvation
        • Westward narrative Lee mentions to Charlotte (Season 1 episode The Adversary)
    • Fort Adventure
        • Attraction at Homer's amusement park called Homerland in his daydream, a fort made out of old mattresses. (Season 5 episode Bart's Inner Child)
    • Funland
        • Abandoned amusement park in Romania, originally from the series Scooby-Doo, Where Are You episode Foul Play In Funland.
    • The Future Sphere
        • Attraction at the Efcot Center amusement park. "What people in 1965 imagined life would be like in 1987” (Season 14 Special Edna)
    • Future Town
        • Theme park exhibit seen at the beginning of the movie when narrator is talking about humanity's future doesn't turn out quite like we imagined.
    • Goofy's Triage
        • Walt's unrealized Civil War theme park, featuring the attractions: Donald's Slave Auction, Uncle Mickey's Cabin, Civil War Land and Goofy's Triage. (Lindsay Lohan and Pearl Jam episode April 15, 2006 TV Funhouse: Disney vault)
    • The Greatest Show On Dirt
        • The Simpsons visit the Springfield Botanical Gardens in time to witness the blooming of the Sumatran Century Flower. "Our stamens are a pistil!" (Season 14 episode Moe Baby Blues)
    • Halo Toss New record added 7/31/2021
        • Game at Reverend Lovejoy's Church Fundraiser. "Three throws for a buck" (Season 17 episode Bart Has Two Mommies)
    • Hammock Land
        • Theme park attraction on Parents' Island, the adult section of Itchy & Scratchy Land. (Season 6 episode Itchy & Scratchy Land)
    • Haunted Cash Machine
        • Attraction at Freak-E-Mart, when Apu turns Kwik-E-Mart into a haunted house. Dispenses images of dead presidents. (Season 9 episode Lisa the Simpson)
    • Head Basher
        • Theme park attraction listed on the "Rides Not Operating Today" sign when the Simpsons arrive at Itchy & Scratchy Land. Full list: Head Basher, Blood Bath, Mangler, Nurse's Station. (Season 6 episode Itchy & Scratchy Land)
    • Hell Tunnel
        • Theme park type ride on the Tantamount Studios tour, which Maeby changes into the Tunnel of Love, Indubitably (Season 3)
    • Holy Roller-coaster New record added 7/31/2021
        • Ride at Reverend Lovejoy's Church Fundraiser. (Season 17 episode Bart Has Two Mommies)
    • Hover Ball
        • Seth Nelson, the teenager that gets magnetic powers from meteor rocks, works the Hover Ball game booth at the Lowell Country Fair. (Season 3 episode Magnetic)
    • Itchy's Mine Field
        • Theme park attraction at Itchy & Scratchy Land, presented by Laramie Cigarettes. (Season 6 episode Itchy & Scratchy Land)
    • It's A Sad World Ride
        • Brian's nickname of the Single Mingle event where they get trapped during a rainstorm. (Season 8 episode Single and Hating It)
    • Jimbo's Spookhouse
        • Attraction at the Springfield Elementary School Carnival. Actually just Jimbo and his fellow bullies, waiting to steal your money.(Season 4 Lisa the Beauty Queen)
    • Journey Into Night
        • Ford's final Westward narrative which he wrote for the hosts and not guests (Season 1 episode The Bicameral Mind)
    • King David's Wild Ride
        • Ride at Praiseland, the Christian amusement park that Maude Flanders designed before she died. (Season 12 episode I'm Goin' to Praiseland)
    • Krustyland House Of Knives
        • Attraction that Krusty mentions at press conference: "I contend the tourists were decapitated before they entered the Krustyland House of Knives."
    • Krusty's Giant Wheel
        • Ride in the Krustyland amusement park. "Not affiliated with 'Ferris Wheel' brand amusement wheels" (The Simpsons Ride)
    • La Saignee
        • Theme park attraction listed on the "Manèges hors d'usage" sign at Euro Itchy & Scratchy Land ("Rides Not Operating Today" at regular Itchy & Scratchy Land). Full list: Le Pulverisatuer, La Saignee, Le massacreur, Poste des Infirmidres. (Season 6 episode Itchy & Scratchy Land)
    • Le Massacreur
        • Theme park attraction listed on the "Manèges hors d'usage" sign at Euro Itchy & Scratchy Land ("Rides Not Operating Today" at regular Itchy & Scratchy Land). Full list: Le Pulverisatuer, La Saignee, Le massacreur, Poste des Infirmidres. (Season 6 episode Itchy & Scratchy Land)
    • Le Pulverisatuer
        • Theme park attraction listed on the "Manèges hors d'usage" sign at Euro Itchy & Scratchy Land ("Rides Not Operating Today" at regular Itchy & Scratchy Land). Full list: Le Pulverisatuer, La Saignee, Le massacreur, Poste des Infirmidres. (Season 6 episode Itchy & Scratchy Land)
    • Little Wall Street
        • Attraction at Oliver Stoneland, where you have to avoid the falling stockbrokers. (Episode Sarah Jessica Parker)
    • Macro-scope
        • Attraction at the Knowledgeum, a new hands on learning environment in Springfield. (Season 9 episode This Little Wiggy)
    • Main Street 1964
        • Attraction at Oliver Stoneland, where the American dream died just after Kennedy did. (Episode Sarah Jessica Parker)
    • Mangler
        • Theme park attraction listed on the "Rides Not Operating Today" sign when the Simpsons arrive at Itchy & Scratchy Land. Full list: Head Basher, Blood Bath, Mangler, Nurse's Station. (Season 6 episode Itchy & Scratchy Land)
    • Merlin's Forest
        • House of mirrors funhouse on the beach near the Santa Cruz Boardwalk, formerly known as Shaman's Vision Quest Forest. "Find Yourself"
    • The Mixer
        • I first became aware of this about ten years ago, the summer my oldest boy, Bill Jr. died. You know that carnival comes into town every year? Well this year they came through with a ride called The Mixer. The man said, "Keep your head, and arms, inside The Mixer at all times." But Bill Jr, he was a daredevil, just like his old man. He was leaning out saying "Hey everybody, look at me! Look at me!" Pow! He was decapitated! They found his head over by the snow cone concession. (song Stuart)
    • Mr. Morrison's Wild Ride
        • Attraction at Oliver Stoneland. Inspired by the hit film The Doors, Mr. Morrison's Wild Ride is a feverishly psychotic maze, an enhanced trip through depression, self-delusion and crazed ego-mania. (Episode Sarah Jessica Parker)
    • Mr. Troy's Wild Ride
        • Joke Troy makes to Selma when trying to convince her that their sham marriage is better than any traditional marriage. (Season 7 episode A Fish Called Selma)
    • Mt. Verticool New record added 7/31/2021
        • Climbing wall at Ruffintumble's Fun Zone, the indoor amusement center where Marge takes Rod and Todd Flanders. (Season 17 episode Bart Has Two Mommies)
    • Muckville USA
        • Attraction at Homer's amusement park called Homerland in his daydream, a muddy pit. (Season 5 episode Bart's Inner Child)
    • The Nauseator
        • Theme park attraction at the Nauseator heard over P.A.: "Mop-and-Bucket man to the exit of the Nauseator." (Season 6 episode Itchy & Scratchy Land)
    • Neck Brace Mountain
        • Amusement park ride at carnival seen during the sequence when Jay takes a girl on a tour of New York City (Season 2 episode Lady Hawke)
    • Octo Sapiens
        • New zoo exhibit featuring Apu and Manjula's octuplets. "From the collection of Apu and Manjula" (Season 11 episode Eight Misbehavin')
    • Odyssey On Red River
        • Westward narrative written by Lee but not implemented due to Ford's veto. (Season 1 episode Chestnut)
    • The Offensive Baseball Cap
        • Attraction at Freak-E-Mart, when Apu turns Kwik-E-Mart into a haunted house. "Do you dare read it?" (Season 9 episode Lisa the Simpson)
    • Onward Paintball Soldiers
        • Attraction at the Protestant Youth Festival, where Marge takes Bart to the Protestant Youth Festival sway him away from converting to Catholicism. (Season 16 episode The Father, the Son and the Holy Guest Star)
    • Pageant Of The Transmundane
        • Also known as the Hullabalooza freak-show, which Homer joins, getting hit in the stomach with cannonballs as The Man with the Iron Stomach, also known as The man who embodies everything about rock and roll, except the music. (Season 7 episode Homerpalooza)
    • Panda-monium
        • Exhibit at the Zoo in Springfield, where Mr. Burns makes Homer dress up as a panda. (Season 11 episode Homer vs. Dignity)
    • Parents' Island
        • The adult section of Itchy & Scratchy Land, featuring dancing, bowling, fashionable shops, over 100 bars and saloons and a world-class chemical-dependency center. Also, TV Town, Hammock Land and Recipe-related Bumper Cars. (Season 6 episode Itchy & Scratchy Land)
    • Platunes
        • Attraction at Oliver Stoneland. A rabble-rousing salute to a war we've never stopped fighting, as performed by The Combat Rollers. And with show-stopping numbers like Viet-Wow, who's gonna protest? (Episode Sarah Jessica Parker)
    • Recipe-related Bumper Cars
        • Theme park attraction on Parents' Island, the adult section of Itchy & Scratchy Land. (Season 6 episode Itchy & Scratchy Land)
    • Rectangle Land
        • Neighborhood in Blocko Land, the amusement park made entirely of Blocko brand assembly fun blocks. (Season 12 episode Hungry, Hungry Homer)
    • Rockin' Ark
        • Rollercoaster ride at Praiseland, the Christian amusement park that Maude Flanders designed before she died. (Season 12 episode I'm Goin' to Praiseland)
    • Romance Apocalypse
        • Fake risqué ride in the real Adventureland theme park.
    • See What You'd Look Like in Hell New record added 7/31/2021
        • Attraction at Reverend Lovejoy's Church Fundraiser - a mirror that shows you in Hell. (Season 17 episode Bart Has Two Mommies)
    • Sex Education Pavilion
        • Attraction at the Knowledgeum, a new hands on learning environment in Springfield. (Season 9 episode This Little Wiggy)
    • Shaman's Vision Quest Forest
        • House of mirrors funhouse on the beach near the Santa Cruz Boardwalk. "Find Yourself"
    • Solomon's Temple
        • Attraction at Praiseland, the Christian amusement park that Maude Flanders designed before she died. (Season 12 episode I'm Goin' to Praiseland)
    • Squaresville
        • Neighborhood in Blocko Land, the amusement park made entirely of Blocko brand assembly fun blocks. (Season 12 episode Hungry, Hungry Homer)
    • Talk Radio Town
        • Attraction at Oliver Stoneland. Where you and your family can broadcast your very own radio show - and get killed afterwards. (Episode Sarah Jessica Parker)
    • Teeny Town
        • Miniature version of the town in the park, with a little train for children to ride, where Dan works in Frazier.
    • Thunder Gun Express (ride)
        • Water park ride based on the movie Thunder Gun Express that Frank and Charlie ride, even though it isn't open yet. (Season 12 episode The Gang Goes to a Water Park)
    • The Time Masheen
        • "Educational" ride at Costco, which Joe thinks is going to be a real time machine that will take him back to the past.
    • Tipsy-Whirl
        • Ride at the Duff Days beer festival, for kids to see what's like to get drunk. (Season 11 episode Pygmoelion)
    • Trampoline World
        • Attraction at Homer's amusement park called Homerland in his daydream, a single trampoline. (Season 5 episode Bart's Inner Child)
    • Treasure Hunt
        • Westward narrative in which guests explore the high sierra, canyons, caves, and mines and go on a treasure hunt designed to be fun for the whole family.
    • Tunnel of Abstinence New record added 7/31/2021
        • Ride at Reverend Lovejoy's Church Fundraiser. (Season 17 episode Bart Has Two Mommies)
    • TV Town
        • Theme park attraction on Parents' Island, the adult section of Itchy & Scratchy Land. (Season 6 episode Itchy & Scratchy Land)
    • Uncle Mickey's Cabin
        • Walt's unrealized Civil War theme park, featuring the attractions: Donald's Slave Auction, Uncle Mickey's Cabin, Civil War Land and Goofy's Triage. (Lindsay Lohan and Pearl Jam episode April 15, 2006 TV Funhouse: Disney vault)
    • The Vanishing Girl
        • Freak show attraction poster hanging on the Santa Carla Beach Boardwalk.
    • The Visible Computer
        • Attraction at the Knowledgeum, a new hands on learning environment in Springfield. (Season 9 episode This Little Wiggy)
    • Volcano Bungee Jump
        • Service featured in Itchy & Scratchy cartoon. $5. (Season 8 episode The Itchy & Scratchy & Poochy Show)
    • Whack a Satan
        • Game at Praiseland, the Christian amusement park that Maude Flanders designed before she died. (Season 12 episode I'm Goin' to Praiseland)
    • Whack-A-Moses New record added 7/31/2021
        • Game at Reverend Lovejoy's Church Fundraiser. (Season 17 episode Bart Has Two Mommies)
    • Wheel Of Misfortune
        • An amusement park ride at carnival seen during the sequence when Jay takes a girl on a tour of New York City (Season 2 episode Lady Hawke)

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