- Harry Block
- Harry Block: Liar, liar, pants on fire!
- Harry Block: Great googa-mooga!
- Harry Block: For the love of everything good and holy, get this goddamn thing out of me!
- Harry Block: There's a fly in my suit!
- Ira Kane
- Ira Kane: Give me back my friend, you big sphincter!
- Ira Kane: Let's shampoo us some aliens!
- Ira Kane: Allow me to share something with the entire class. Last night as I was grading papers, I came across two gems both entitled "Cells are Bad" and both with just one paragraph which I unfortunately committed to memory: "Cells are bad. My uncle lives in a cell. It's ten foot by twelve and he has to read the same boring, old magazine everyday. The end." Although my standards are nowhere near where they used to be I could not bring myself to put As atop those beauties.
- Nurse Tate, Dr. Paulson & Harry Block
- Nurse Tate: I'll get the lubricant.
Dr. Paulson: There's no time for lubricant!
Harry Block: There's always time for lubricant!
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