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The ultimate compendium of fake businesses and products.
Category Groups
Category Group Filter: PRODUCTS
Category Filter: COSMETICS

  • Cosmetics

    • Animal Magnetism
      • Cosmetics line advertised in the Fight Club press kit. While we do sell product made from the hides of animals, we have never and will never test any product on laboratory animals. Our Animal Magnetism line of cosmetics is a collection of 100% untested make-up for eyes, skin and hair. Because no animals were harmed in testing our product, we must caution that some corrosive side effects may occur with use. If you have an adverse reaction to any of our product, please contact us immediately, and then call a paramedic.

    • Baron Von Costume's Deluxe Disguise Kit
      • Kit Milhouse uses to disguise Bart as one of the Shelbyville punks. (Season 6 episode Lemon of Troy)

    • Beau-line
      • New skin cream from Hedare Beauty that is able to reverse the effects of aging.

    • Black Honey
      • Lipstick flavor… "They say women are more likely to buy lipstick if its named after food or sex."

    • Bunny Faye Cosmetics
      • Quon Lee becomes a Bunny Faye girl, selling cosmetics. But when she gets sick, Mac has to host her makeup party at work. (Season 7 episode If I Were a Rich Man)

    • Cantel Cosmetics
      • Lisette starts selling cosmetics. "So swell, you can't tell you have them on” and "Why smell like Hell when you can smell like Cantel?” (Season 9 episode Poker? I Hardly Knew Her)

    • Chanel No. 666
      • Joke Charlie makes about Evelyn's scent when they go shopping for a birthday present for her. (Season 4 episode I Merely Slept With a Commie)

    • Claude and Maurice Facial Treatment
      • Two guys follow you around ensuring your face looks good (Steve Martin's All Commercials TV special)

    • Cosmique Cosmetics
      • Cosmetic company where ALD works in the alternate reality that his guardian angel shows him, the one where he never crashed into the Tanners' garage (Season 3 episode Stairway to Heaven)

    • Eau De Crankcase
      • Joke narrator makes to the trucker: What's that aftershave, handsome? Eau de Crankcase? (story Nona)

    • Emma Rose Parfumerie
      • MJ is the face of Emma Rose Parfumerie, with her picture on billboards all over the city.

    • Epiphany for Men
      • Charlie Harper: You know what that smell is? Epiphany for men. (Season 3 episode Something Salted and Twisted)

    • Evening Lobster
      • Terry Faith Cosmetic product (Season 1 episode Keepin' the Faith)

    • Eyelash Conditioner
      • Product sold at La Porte d'Argent (Season 10 episode Door Jam)

    • Fuck Off
      • Lipstick flavor… "They say women are more likely to buy lipstick if its named after food or sex."

    • Glitz
      • Diamond cream that Lindsay wants to buy because it's lavish and expensive, and George Michael wants to for a gift for his girlfriend Ann. (Season 2)

    • Good Soul
      • Cosmetic product sold by ALF's cosmetic company Cosmique Cosmetics in the alternate reality that his guardian angel shows him, the one where he never crashed into the Tanners' garage (Season 3 episode Stairway to Heaven)

    • Guacamole Skin Toner
      • Terry Faith Cosmetic product (Season 1 episode Keepin' the Faith)

    • Ichiban
      • Lipstick for Men commercial that Joey filmed in Japan. (Season 10 episode The One With Ross' Grant)

    • Integrity
      • I launch my fragrance called Integrity, I sell the fact that I can't be bought (Song: Batphone)

    • Makeup Gun
      • Homer invention. "For the woman that only has 4/5 of a second to get ready.” (Season 2 episode Wizard of Evergreen Terrace)

    • Mid-afternoon Anti-stress Spritz
      • Product sold at La Porte d'Argent (Season 10 episode Door Jam)

    • Miracle Cure
      • Dennis Feinstein's latest fragrance, promoted during the Covid-19 pandemic. "Don't Listen to the Nerds! It works!" (2020 episode A Parks and Recreation Special)

    • Mizzola
      • Captivating fragrance that Dan's friend Sheila is wearing. (Season 4 episode A Day in the Life)

    • Peachy Keen
      • Lipstick flavor… "They say women are more likely to buy lipstick if its named after food or sex."

    • Pink Pussy
      • Lipstick flavor… "They say women are more likely to buy lipstick if its named after food or sex."

    • Plum Passion
      • Lipstick flavor… "They say women are more likely to buy lipstick if its named after food or sex."

    • Preparation Shumway
      • Cosmetic product made from ALF's carburetor sludge in the alternate reality that his guardian angel shows him, the one where he never crashed into the Tanners' garage (Season 3 episode Stairway to Heaven)

    • Red Rum
      • Lipstick flavor… "They say women are more likely to buy lipstick if its named after food or sex."

    • Running Black
      • Eyeliner advertised in the Fight Club press kit. $15. The eyeliner that naturally washes away when exposed to tears or water.

    • Sex Panther
      • "Sex Panther by Odeon. It's illegal in nine countries. Yep. It's made with bits of real panther. So you know it's good. They've done studies. Sixty percent of the time, it works every time." Eventually made into a real product that, instead of bits of real panther, combines notes of juniper with cedarwood and sandalwood, and even comes in a box that growls when you open it.

    • She-Hulk by Titania
      • Titania trademarks She-Hulks's name, uses it to creates luxurious new line of skin care, beauty and wellness products, and then sues She-Hulk. Products include Beauty Serum., Beauty Oil, Beauty Tonic and Snake Venom Lip Plumper. She-Hulk's boss Holden Holliway also mentions seeing a billboard for a She-Hulk Booty Boost Smoothie. (Season 1 episode Mean, Green and Straight Poured into these Jeans)

    • Shumway Lip Gloss
      • Cosmetic product made from ALF's axle grease in the alternate reality that his guardian angel shows him, the one where he never crashed into the Tanners' garage (Season 3 episode Stairway to Heaven)

    • Shumway Number 5
      • Cosmetic product made from ALF's radiator fluid in the alternate reality that his guardian angel shows him, the one where he never crashed into the Tanners' garage (Season 3 episode Stairway to Heaven)

    • Solid Foundation
      • Foundation advertised in the Fight Club press kit. $15. A semi-natural cover for pocked or stained skin.

    • Sub-reflective Chin Buffing Paste
      • Terry Faith Cosmetic product (Season 1 episode Keepin' the Faith)

    • Summer's Blossom Eye Shadow
      • Bunny Faye Cosmetics product that Mac sells at Quon Lee's makeup party. (Season 7 episode If I Were a Rich Man)

    • Terry Faith Cosmetics
      • Cosmetics ALF sells (Season 1 episode Keepin' the Faith)

    • Totally Tech Cosmetics and Fashion EnhancementsZoe's Friend Pilar's New Cosmetic Line. (Season 4 Episode the Story of O2)
      • Zoe's friend Pilar's new cosmetic line. (Season 4 episode The Story of O2)

    • Transformers
      • Shawn's new scent. It makes you smell how Transformers movies make you feel. (Season 2 episode Rhonda, Diana, Jake and Trent)

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