- Heather Mooney
- Heather Mooney: Okay cowboy, I don't know what your trip is, but if this is some kind of a sick game. If you fuck with me, in any way, I will rip each and every appendage from your body, starting with your dick. Capice?
- Heather Mooney & Michele Weinberger
- Heather Mooney: This dress exacerbates the genetic betrayal that is my legacy.
Michele Weinberger: Okay, I don't even know what you're talking about cause of those words, but come here.
- Michele Weinberger
- Michele Weinberger: For me, it's like I've just given birth to my own baby girl, except she's like a big giant girl who smokes and says "shit" a lot, you know?
- Michele Weinberger: I hope your babies look like monkeys!
- Michele Weinberger: Um, well, ordinarily when you make glue, first you need to thermoset your resin and then after it cools you have to mix in a Poxide which is really just a fancy schmancy name for any simple oxyginated adhesive, right? And then I thought maybe, just maybe, you could raise the viscosity by adding a complex glucose derivative during the emulsification process and it turns out I was right.
- Michele Weinberger: You know, even though I had to wear that stupid back brace and you were kind of fat, we were still totally cutting edge.
- Ramon & Romy White
- Ramon: You have to say something nice about my penis!
Romy White: Oh Ramon, your penis is so powerful! I'm coming! Okay, thank you! Get off me!
- Romy White
- Romy White: The truth is you are a mean person with an ugly heart and, quite frankly, we don't give a flying fuck what you think!
- Romy White & Heather Mooney
- Romy White: Heather, um, has anyone ever told you that smoking can kill you?
Heather Mooney: No. No one. Thank you.
- Romy White & Michele Weinberger
- Romy White: Swear to God, sometimes I wish I was a lesbian.
Michele Weinberger: Do you want to try, to see if we are?
Romy White: What? Yeah, right, Michelle. Just the idea of having sex with another woman creeps me out. But if we're still single at 30, ask me again.
Michele Weinberger: Okay.
- Tobacco Products
- Red Apple
- Red Apple Cigarettes are advertised on a billboard in the background.